I am a 19 year old girl from the Netherlands, since i start masturbating several years ago i started to feel a lot of clitoral pain after a while of painless stimulation. At first i can stimulate my clitoris without any problems, i am completely aroused and it feels great, but after a while of painless stimulation (variating from 30 seconds to several minutes) it starts to hurt a lot wich makes me stop stimulating.
Since 2 and a half year i got a boyfriend, and when he stimulates me I got the same problem. We tried both masturbation as Oral sex but without any results. We even tried using a vibrator but nothing seems to work. The feeling is absolutly great, and i am completely aroused but no matter where, in what conditions or how we stimulate i still get that pain. Because of this i am not aroused any longer, the sex stops instantly and therefore i have’nt been able of achieving an orgasm in my life. My libido is much lower because of this.
I really want to know what i should do, because i want to have sex longer, more often and most of all i want an orgasm(wich i can’t achieve during intercourse either). Is there someone here with the same problems and maby solutions? Can we do something about it? do i have to go to surgery or is it something else??(i am posting this message at "ask the docters" too).
It is best if you go back to square one with masturbation on your own - gently. The pain happens if you stimulate the clitoris too hard and too directly so you need to explore when and where to touch. The more aroused you are the less direct stimulation the clitoris can take. Second step is to show your partner when to back off a bit, just tell him to slow down and focus on another area. Once the clitoris is overstimulated or after an orgasm, direct touch can be painful for days. If you do not guide your guy he will just happily repeat the same "press this button" routine until you are totally dull. Often there is also this misconception about where the G-spot is and all of a sudden you find yourself with a bruised urethra the next day because your guy thought he has to massage this one spot 5 degrees off the vagina entrance for half an hour, just like we don`t naturally know what a guy likes. Anyway, no need for surgery. Just be more gentle.
I've had painful clitoral stimulation before, and the problems seemed to be from stimulating it too much (either through masturbation or couples sex). Give yourself a few days. Practice going without masturbating. When you do start up again, go slow and stop if it hurts. Eventually you'll find the level when you maximize your satisfaction, but without wearing out your hardware (so to speak).
haha, it's so true Trialanderror. I had a boyfriend who always went straight for the clitoris, and it always hurt too much to enjoy. Needless to say he never figured out why I stopped asking for oral sex.
I can imagine...the unspoken issues of sex...sometimes hilarious, sometimes painful. I made the mistake back then to tell my boyfriend I did not care for receiving oral sex but would not mind giving. And there, I was stuck in another routine....too much of a good thing is just not it. :D
haha Trialanderror, I hear EXACTLY what you're saying about being stuck in that routine. Never again... :D
Girlie19, one last thought. To take the pressure off your clitoris while masturbating, try clitoral stimulation to get yourself aroused, and then finish with vaginal stimulation. Sometimes it feels like that cluster of nerves is one and the same - accessible from the inside and out. You might be surprised to find another avenue of self-pleasuring. Good luck!
I COMPLETELY understand what you are going through. I am 38 and have had the same problem you are experiencing my entire life. Nobody seems to be able to help or understand, but your description is almost exactly what I experience. While I do not masturbate or use any sexual stimulants, I still experience a period of wonderful pleasure for a few seconds, which quickly turns to sex-stopping pain! It is horrible and I have never had an orgasm. My hubby has tried to make this bearable- but to no avail. I wish someone had an answer. Lubricants and gentleness never seem to be the answer.
Girls, I may b a man but that doesn't mean I don't feel your pain. My girlfriend is just now beginning to go through the exact same thing. She is 25 and I just gave her her first two orgasms but they went terribly because what started as a good feeling ended with miserable, sharp, clitoral pain. I am confident that this is NOT AN IRRITATED SKIN PAIN. It's something else. I believe it is the same pain that I coincidentally feel during my orgasm if I keep moving. I have a condition that causes a sharp pain under my hood during orgasm but only if I keep moving. If I hold still, my orgasm is quiet fantastically healthy. Forgive me for saying but I have been with 5 other women and none of them had anything comparable to this. I really like my girlfriend and I want her to be happy but I don't know what to do. It's not fair for me to get mine and her not to get hers. In fact, it's more important for her to get hers because of my nature; I don't care about me, I just want her to b happy and she's totally demoralized by this. If nothing else, rest assured you are not alone, girls.
I've had a very similar problem. During sexual activity I feel a pleasurable build up of arousal. It's also a teasing, somewhat uncomfortable, tension-filled sensation, but I enjoy it. I feel like I need to orgasm. There is no way for me to relieve the tension without being stimulated more and experiencing sharp painful sensations in the clitoris/ clitoral area. This causes me to scream, but I am not screaming from pleasure, but from pain. Because I scream, though, men tell me that I am experiencing an orgasm. (How would they know, they are not in my body?) It does generally relieve the sexual tension, but the pain prevents it from feeling very good or satisfying. Sometimes it seems like I might be experiencing what is both before & after an orgasm, but I'm just missing out on the orgasm itself, or perhaps I am experiencing an orgasm, but mine are painful, and therefore not very good. I just turned 41 and mostly believe that I have never had an orgasm in my life, which makes me feel very sad. Gentleness doesn't seem to be the answer for me either, and this seems to happen even when I'm lubricated. In fact, it always happens when I become very aroused. Until I read this post, I didn't know that other women experienced these problems as well. To complicate things, I also have a number of sexual hang ups, so medical professionals think that my problems are just due to my psychological issues, but I really think that the problem is physical. I'd REALLY like a solution to my problem, but right now I'm grateful for the opportunity to talk about it, as it helps me clarify the issue in my own mind.
That is so sweet of you Taylorman, I am a 53 year old woman and have had this problem my entire adult sex life...Every man I have ever been with over the years has gotten discouraged by their inability to bring me about that none have stayed for the long haul...I am glad to hear that you are not so easily discouraged or blame yourself for this....Or her for this matter either...No matter what I have tried over the years it hurts to have my clitoris stimulated and it did not begin like that in the beginning...Now, I come to find out that it is now happening to my daughter also who will be just turning 31 this coming December 8th of 2014...She came to me asking me what to do or what it might be and I had to tell her baby I don't know...Let it never be said that a woman can not conceive a child without have an orgasm as I was once lead to believe because, after my first child I have had 4 more and never once got there....Try going 36 years this way...Talk about sexual frustration and depression...If anyone ever finds a cure all for this ailment let me know because, I have tried everything each of you have posted and notta....
I am very sensitive and cannot be touched by hand and have never had an orgasm from oral sex and found I am most stimulated and have intense orgasms by closing my legs between my man's legs while lying on my back or stomach. This seams to protect my clit and stimulate it enough to have orgasms that are not painful.
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