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Hi, I'm not really sure where I should post this... I am currently suffering from severe depression and came off my meds for a short while. The switch did not work and now I am going back on my meds. I have been with my fiancee for over two years now. He has tribal tattoos on his neck, and while they have always bothered me, they have not ever bothered me this much before. He is the perfect man- supportive, kind, giving, loving, etc. I suppose I am just afraid of the stigma attached to the tattoos that we will have to face the rest of our lives if we stay together. Does anyone have any advice on this? I know it's a vague question, but please, reply if you have something to say.
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973741 tn?1342346373
Hm.  Well,  I get that we feel embarrassed sometimes regarding our partner.  Some might feel like their partner's voice is too loud and people are staring or their partner has bad teeth or they dress like the are Clark Griswold------------  and somehow we think it reflects on us.  Or we are afraid of what people are going to think of them.  But we are afraid of strangers at that point because those that know our significant other have the information to overlook any imperfections they may have.  

What is it that bothers you about the tattoos.  What others will think of your man or that your man at one time thought these were a good idea?  Maybe if he no longer thinks they are a good idea, he could go through the process of removing them??  But that would be a discussion down the road.  

Like anything, when we date someone--------- we have to add up the pros and cons.  If there are more pros--------  then go with it.  When you make a list about your guy----------  see if all of his good qualities will help you put in perspective what an outward characteristic of your man really means.  Nothing if he is a good guy.  

This day and age, lots of folks have lots of tattoos.  It's not all that unusual.  But if you hate them and they make him unattractive to you--------  then that gives it more value.  Also, if you think it would make employment difficult in the future (my husband in the business world does not run into many men with visible tattoos----------  they may have them but they are under the suit) you might think about that.  

But overall, if you are just worried about what others may think, try not to.  Finding a good partner is hard to do--------- don't let something superficial break you up.

I'm glad you've restarted your meds.  Best wishes to you.
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176495 tn?1301284012
one day there will be a lot of money to be made by someone who comes up with a way to easily remove tattoos off of people who suddenly wake up and say "what the heck did I do this for?"


Jim
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684030 tn?1415615923
While Depression can, in many ways, suppress or dull the senses... it can also create an exaggerated sense of significance to things that may ordinarily seem innocuous. It's possible that you're cycling through a period of Depression that's making the sight of these tattoos seem... well, depressing. So, your reaction could be as much about the Depression as the unsightliness of the tattoos. How about suggesting that he him cover up, at least some of the tattoos, with a turtle neck or high collared shirt to tone down the appearance? If he's as understanding and supportive as you say, I bet he'll do it.
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