Controlling Boyfriend "need advice"

[lil_lolo]

I met my boyfriend 5 years ago.  He was really nice and did everything for me.  He was a total different person before I moved in with him, into his home.  Living with him you really begin to see the true person.  He is a great Con-Artist.  He kept bothering me to agree with him on selling me his house, so he could collect the money which was about $70,000.00.  In the paperwork $40,000.00 had to go to the IRS because he never filed.  He used me to get this money to pay his debt. and the rest he gambled it away.  I found out some more things about him I did not know.  He does drugs, drinks alcohol every day, and I found him on the computer looking at porn, he has a gun collection.  Which scares me.  He is obsessed with me and has to know everything I do.  I have to ask permission to visit my parents or go the store.  The only thing keeping me here is the house is in my name and I became unemployed.  So I can't get an apartment.  I feel when I do leave he will try to track me down.  So I can't go to my parents house.  Please I need some advice on other options.  

[Judy246]

Also, confidentially contact your local police or church for resources. I know of churches that have women shelters. If you have any claims to the home, you can take care of it after you are safe. What about family support?

[mami1323]

Do a google search for domestic violence shelters in your area.  I think that is your best bet if you fear your safety.  You are right a house isn't worth your life.  Good luck.

[lil_lolo]

The house was actually his before we put my name on it.  I asked him to put it back in his name, but he won't because his credit is bad.  And he won't sell it.  He still considers it as his house.  If I made him leave, he would be so angry and try to hurt me.
I don't want the house.  I just want to get out.  I wish that I could just kick him out, but
I would not want to see what would happen to me.  He has a bad temper for little things, you can emagine what he would do if I try to kick him out.  He has at one time punch a hole in the wall trying to hit me.  That is only the tip of the ice berg of things I had to put up with.  I may have to leave and go to a womens shelter.  Anyone know of any ?

[Judy246]

I just love Mami's advice....kick his *** out!!! right to the point.....so, do it.

[mami1323]

Oh and if you already have a restraining order in place, there is no need to give him any notice.  You can kick him out immediately.

[mami1323]

Kick his a$$ out!!!  You own the house so it's yours.  Like Judy stated, get a restraining order and find out legally how you can get him out of your house.  I believe he needs a 30 day written notice.  

[Judy246]

You are the home owner correct? It sounds as if might be in a potentially dangerous and controlling situation.If you feel you are unable to ask him to leave your home out of fear, I would confidentially call the police department and get information on your options on how to handle the situation. If you want him out, you can arrange through the police department to have a police officer present when he pick's up his things and leaves. Locks need to be changed immediately and if necessary request a police bond depending on the state, where he by law will have to stay away from you, your family, home and place of employment 500 ft.

You don't have to live with fear and if your instincts tell you he's scary, then he is. Start making a plan, contact your family and friends to support you with this. Don't do it alone. Good luck