Thanks. Well I got my answer after I invited her to have dinner with me and got ignored for two days. I then approached her and said, "I feel that our relationship has changed so I hope we can talk it out." The response I got was basically, "I'd rather hang out with my friends so leave me alone."
After everything I've done for her, all the months she needed me and would call me whenever she needed anything and I was always there for her. Now just like that it's a 180. So now I just have to deal with that rejection, I think I've really done all I can do to try and fix this. She seems like she has borderline personality disorder or something.
Oh, I think that we were just looking for answers to why she is reacting that way and if you have a double standard of some sort, that could be one reason, or she could just be immature, or she could be jealous. I'd go for one of those three ideas.
I'd do as my post mentions. Offer to do something fun with her without bring it up and just have a casual good time. See if she bounces back if she doesnt' think you are mad at her. good luck
Sure, that's a coincidence, but that's it. They are two totally separate people who have never met and are in no way alike.
This problem is about this girl acting cold and distant to me and not actually confronting me about the problem. Her canceling plans was just one part of the story and not the main issue. Two totally different issues here.
I'm more trying to figure out how to reach out to her in a way that will work, not how to blame myself for it.
I hadn't looked at back dated posts. I guess it is true that we have to have the same rules for others that we have for ourself. Good luck and I hope it works out with you and your cousin.
RockRose has presented a valid point.....food for thought.
Wisconsin, I went to your profile and read your other two posts.
Do you see that the other two posts are the mirror image of this one - in those posts, you have a group of very long term close friends and you are no longer attending their activities or accepting their invitations, and in fact had a bit blow up before with this group because you'd cancel your plans to be with them after the plans were already made.
I think there's something to this. Have you cancelled plans also with this cousin, or been unavailable to her socially, so that she grew to expect that it was fine for her to cancel out on you - and now she's very surprised that you were so hurt and that you confronted her?
Is it possible that you're leading your life in two different ways - you feel free and justified to cancel on the plans of others, but got very hurt and confronted her when she took the same attitude?
It just seems interesting, that within about 6 months you have the same problem, in reverse.
Best wishes. I agree with the others that I would let this blow over if possible, and I think maybe you were more harsh to her than you realized. Since your wedding is coming up I hope you can make peace with her and have the relationship you once had -
Well....I would just let her be and see if she comes around. Hopefully she will. Time will tell.
Sounds like she may be a bit jealous of you and she is definitely acting immature. How old is she?
Your statement...."I was VERY civil about it though, never yelled or accused her but I guess it was "harsh" to her because NOBODY ever calls her out on her bad attitude." Does everyone just allow her to behave badly and not say anything to her?
Hi there. Well, it sounds like besides just being your fiance's cousin, she'd become a good friend of yours as well. I can understand why your feelings were hurt about your birthday party. Lots of girls do put their boyfriends (even really crummy ones) above all else. OR she could have intended to make it to your party but was just carried away and didn't make it. Flakey and inconsiderate but something a lot of girls do (especially when immature and a bit irresponsible).
So then she feels guilty. And believe it or not, when some people feel guilty, they act aloof. Or self rightous in their own right.
She may also have a tiny bit of jealousy. Again, this would go with the theme that she is a little immature. You have a big day coming and perhaps she wishes it is her. Maybe she is always the screw up and feels bad about this because you have it all together in her eyes. All this can cause a slightly immature girl to act funny.
Honestly, don't let it blow up. Ask her to do something you both like to do. Lunch is a good one. and just treat her like normal. no questions about what is wrong. Nothing heavy. Just hang out for a little bit acting like nothing happened.
She's not saying she is mad, she's just acting a little bit like not herself. Leave it be, be friendly to her, and it should go back to normal.
good luck
good luck and happy wedding