Dealing with loneliness...

[AuziNikol]

How do you deal with being lonely to the point it's unbearable? I have a bf but he's always to busy for me (not the father of my baby). He's actually really excited that I'm having a kid but his parents needs take priority over everything, even I it's just him sitting and watching their dogs while they do stuff. I don't go over there because it's dirty (they have bugs) and they have 7 dogs that randomly bark and set off my anxiety.  I've been on and off with him a few years, but idk if I want to be with him, I'm just so lonely and since I'm attracted to both genders so he gets nervous no matter who I hang out with, but more so when I hang out with women. Anyone else have any issues like this? How do you deal with feeling lonely?

[specialmom]

It's always a hard decision about 'when' but when we start thinking it at all, it is kind of telling about the state of the relationship.

Anyway, I'm sorry it is like this and I do hope you find the right path for you and your baby hon.  good luck

[AuziNikol]

Thanks, I have talked to him, he gets upset because he thinks I'm mad that he's helping his family, but he has 2 brothers that could also help that don't, I'm starting to think I should just move on but I don't know. Thank you for the advice

[specialmom]

Hi there.  sorry you are feeling sad and lonely.  Now, this is just me but if I'm lonely in a relationship, I feel like I have three options.  First, you can talk to him and express your needs.  that you want more time together, more activities for the two of you two do, more connection.  Second, you begin doing things you enjoy YOURSELF in your life more often.  Increase your friendships, spend time with family and others you enjoy, do things YOU like, get busy at work or at your hobbies.  BUILD your life to be what you want by adding things to it rather than putting all of that onto a partner.  And third, after this amount of time, realizing that maybe he just isn't the guy for you and moving on.

Are you expecting a child?  That is a pretty huge deal and it can alter how we look at things .. .  there can be fear of being alone so we try to make it work with 'easy' people in our life rather than being alone.  Really, sometimes being alone is better.  Lonely and alone are too different things.  

Alone means that eventually, you'll find someone to be with that you are connected to and really WITH.  

Anyway, lots to think about.  But if this relationship isn't working, then it's just not.  You don't have to be with a person though.  You can have periods of your life without romance.  So, don't just try to find someone to be with as I really don't think that solves the problem of loneliness.  You have to get comfortable by yourself and then ADD to your life.

good luck hon.   I wish you ALL the best