Desperately want a family

[Tiqshirelle]

I am happily married 34 yr old woman with pcos. I have been with my husband since high school and he's one yr older than me. For years we have been trying to convince and once had an etopic pregnancy. I had a DNC done a few years ago and since have been asking him also with suggestion of Doctor,for him to have a semen analysis done. It's been years now and I literally have been asking him to make a doctors ap appointmen to get it done. Each time I ask he either tells me the same lie that hes made the appointment or is waiting for an insurance issue to be cleared up. I'm at the point where my biological clock is ticking and I don't want to be too old having kids but I also am very hurt because he seems to not want to do this or maybe does not really want to have kids ? We have known each other since the age of 15 and 16 and been together around 20 years and married for 14 yrs. We know each other entirely and why does he not take this step if he truly wants to have kids ? I'm very emotional and often cry alone and when I see a expectant mother I really get depressed. I also try not to mention anything in the subject because it always turns into a little argument that I'm pressing him or he just blatantly says its no need because of my PCOS and I flat out can't have kids. I really am just about to give up and make peace with myself and just accept that maybe I can't and just move on with life as it is...

[specialmom]

Trying to conceive is emotionally draining.  It can consume us and possess us and rob us of life in the present.  Been there.  So, your husband does not seem to be wanting to work as hard on it as you.  I get that it is hard for men as a semen analysis is kind of embarrassing depicted in movies as this gross room with old porno's and wrinkled play boy mags in it . . .   kind of awkward.  But none the less, we women who want our baby would move mountains to make it happen.  Have you tried to have a heart to heart with him?  Not asking him to go do the test but opening up a conversation and asking him how he really feels about this?  That you notice he hasn't done the test and you are wondering what the real reason is.  that you want to know how he feels about continuing the trying to conceive journey.  And then do your very very best to REALLY listen and hear him.  He may not say what you want.  He may have decided that he doesn't want to feel like his life is in limbo any longer trying to have a baby or doesn't want to go to extra lengths to make it happen and is overall, content the way things are, etc.  It will be hard to hear if this is the case but better to understand where he is coming from and respect it so you can figure things out together.  That is what I would do.  good luck and let us know how it goes