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Do you believe?

So, my new thing for the new year . . .   positive attracts positive and negative attracts negative.  Sure, we've all heard that for years . . .   but what do you think about it?  I have done a good deal of reading as of late and there really does seem to be something to it.  I listened to a podcast from a well known financial planner that said her number one tip is to think of your top financial goal, write it on paper and tape it to where you get ready for the day (bathroom mirror).  She said her clients who did this had a much higher rate of succeeding in their goal. I find that fascinating!  I'm trying positive attracts positive with my relationships.  With my husband.  I am focusing on what is positive.  I'm focusing on being positive.  And seeing if it is returned to me.  :>)  So far so good.

What are your thoughts on this in your relationships and life?  
29 Comments Post a Comment
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13167_tn?1327197724
Yes,  I 100% agree that positive energy attracts positive energy and negative energy attracts negative energy.  It's baffling to me,  why people who are always so afraid of being robbed or attacked get robbed and attacked and those who seldom think about that,  don't worry about carrying their own packages to the car in the mall,  don't lock always,  are willing to hike in the woods alone,  etc.,  rarely seem to get robbed.  There is truly a thought that when you stare for along time into the abyss,  the abyss begins to stare back.

Whistle past the graveyard,  keep passing the open windows,  and just keep swimming and you're likely to avoid negative vibes.   Not always obviously.

There was a speaker every year at my college freshman orientation program who told incoming freshmen "make friends with the secretary in your advisor's office,  the janitor on your dorm floor,  and sit up front in class with the positive kids instead of in the back of class with the negative ones.  And when you are in a ferry boat,  be one of the ones who gets out of your car and walks to the front of the boat to breathe in the salt air".  I've never heard better advice for life than that!
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But your other point,  about focusing on your goal - I'm not sure that works because you are focused,  like magic.

I think people who really want something enough to write it on a piece of paper and stick it to their mirror and stare at it every morning are doing other things that accomplish their goal - they're keeping aware of financial opportunities,  being smart about their money,  looking for and taking good advice,  etc.

If you are focused on a goal you have a good chance to achieve it compared to others who don't have that same goal. But it's not just coincidence - it's work and planning.
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3149845_tn?1415046551
Positive does attract positive but the strongest attraction is Positive to negative as in magnets and such. As the saying goes, opposites attract.
So if you want to be financially successful use the thought of "not having" to get your mind into the right gear.
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973741_tn?1342346373
I am not sure about that.  Opposites may attract but that is only initially.  Eventually there is too much conflict living with your opposite.  Then you are not longer attracted.   I find negativity to be off putting.  I try to focus on the positives and when I do that--  I receive positives back.  What I was really talking about life was energy.  If you are negative with your lived one --  will you have negativity give back?  If you seek positive , do you often find more of it??
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13167_tn?1327197724
Hmm.  Well I certainly think "opposites attract" when it comes to yin and yang.  There really is something to the notion that all people are a mixture of yin and yang,  (male and female) and in hetersexuals,  those who are very polarized attract those who are also  polarized in the opposite way.  So a very very masculine man will be attracted to a very very feminine woman,  and men and women who are a more equal mix of male and female - that is, those with a mixture of those traits - will choose each other.  

It's like if you picture a see-saw balance.  The left side is male,  the right side is female.  To "balance" the couple,  you won't have a woman all the way out on the right tip being extremely feminine,  matched with a man who is pretty much in the middle of his spectrum of male/female.

But maybe that's not what's being discussed here.  ;D

I just find the balance very interesting.  
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Immature love is like that I guess.  I personally see many more couples that are similar than unalike.  

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Oh, and yes.  I wasn't really talking about what 'attracts' couples, I was talking about attracting positive energy and good things to our current relationships.  :>)  Or negative, as it may be depending on the situation.
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13167_tn?1327197724
On the "similar and unalike"?  I think you may have misunderstood.  What Im saying is,  the more masculine the guy,  the more feminine his partner.    And the more gender neutral,  androgenous,  a person is,  the more likely their partner is too.  You can picture two engineers having a fabulous relationship,  and I certainly see it all the time.  

So if you run through the top 10 happily married couples you know,  off the top of your head,  wouldn't you agree that on the see saw,  they are equidistant from the center,  in a gender ID way?  Very masculine men and very feminine women matched,  and most other couples much more in the middle.
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13167_tn?1327197724
But yes,  I completely agree that you can usually attract positive energy if you are looking for it,  and negative energy if you are putting off those vibes,  too.  Interesting discussion,  SM.
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Avatar_m_tn
Opposites attract, in any relationship, there's always the dominant and the submissive (+/-)

Positive = controlling, Negative = clingy
You get two positives and they deflect each other. It's magnetism.

Life gets boring fast, without disagreement. We might not realize, but what we think of ourselves might actually be the opposite of what others perceive. The other, is that no two moods ever stay constant. The definition is a little too juvenile, because in reality life is much more nuanced, there's a lot of gray between a black & white world view.

Anything that appears within the bounds of "agreement" is probably too good to be true. We all know in a relationship, that the woman is always correct, right? In reality there's disagreement, but... the woman is always correct (for obvious reasons.)

Another example, two of the same (who defines positive from negative anyhow?) deflect each other. A mother in Law + mother = they're both dominant forces during Thanksgiving, they both vie for control. Here's the problem: there's always drama, always conflict. They deflect each other.
Why? because two leaders can't lead. There's always positive and negative...
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Avatar_m_tn
You can't give without taking... How do you give/give? and keep giving? What does a financial planner writing post it notes have to do with positive and negative energy? Most confusing question on this board.
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973741_tn?1342346373
Rockrose, I'm glad you like the discussion topic.  :>)

I totally agree with you that in the instance of a financial planner asking a client to write a goal out and placing it in a spot visible for the day has a lot to do with it being in the forefront of your mind.  to me, it is also a bit like an affirmation.  My health guru (okay, my favorite fitness teacher at my gym) has been talking so much about positive energy.  She's so funny that she says she wakes up and tells herself positive things first thing in the morning.  And honestly believes that positivity sets her day off in a direction that would be better than if she didn't.  It's interesting to me.  It's opposite of those who say bad things about themselves and put themselves down all the time.  What do they bring themselves?  

anyway, in my marriage----  I think I 'could' think about what drives me nuts about my husband (oh, come on, we all have a thing or two, right?) but instead, I am trying to always switch it.  Turn to the positives.  Think about my marriage in a way like it is the best marriage ever!  And I swear, things just feel happier.  My husband seems to follow my lead in this.  

When you are around someone with a kind of dark cloud over their head, grumpy, complaining, seeing the negative------  do you want to be with that person?  I don't.  I begin to avoid them. Verses, the person that is uplifting seeing the positive.  I want to be the positive at home with my loved ones.  

Happy Valentines day!!!
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13167_tn?1327197724
manroot,    there is a  a new branch of Christianity,  called Prosperity Theology.  It's exactly what SM was talking about, although I don't think she was specifically talking about this phenomenon within the context of Christianity. Anyway,  it's making  waves and discomfort in traditional protestant churches,  where traditionally they pray for comfort and God's will.  In the prosperity churches, they specifically pray for wealth and write notes about their financial goals on their mirrors and dashboards,  and pray specifically that certain stocks do well,  etc.   There does seem to be something to it.

SM - I completely agree that it's more fun and energizing to be around positive people.  You can get into a habit,  as a social circle,  of gossiping and negativity and it just ***** you in.  I'm currently in an extended group of friends where anyone can leave the room,  and know their name is safe in our mouths.  Literally,  anything said about them behind their backs - if they overheard it - would not hurt them.  What a pleasure,  and a relief!!   Positive is great.

Maya Angelou had a discussion about the grocery store experience in the US.  What an incredible blessing,  she said,  to be able to walk into a large modern grocery store,  and be surrounded with all the blessings of the earth.    That store is piled high with beautiful,  delicious fresh delightful foods,  and you can feed your family anything that you want.  Any food in the world,  is right there and you can buy it and feed your family from this overflowing bounty.  What an incredible gift,  and a pleasure to walk through and choose what you will eat that day.  And yet,  you look around and most of the customers are scowling and are completely annoyed with the chore of picking out all the food they will eat.  Amazing.  i love the grocery store,  and notice other people who love it too.

I love the idea of waking up and telling yourself positive things first thing in the morning.  Starts your day off on a really nice roll . . .

Again,  love this topic.  Food for thought.
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Avatar_m_tn
Praying is no substitute for those who live in reality. We all rely on hard work, research, analysis, and global trends. These things are what run a stock portfolio; not magical thinking. Same is true for any business.

Anybody who establishes goals and commits to them will accomplish them. A checklist is most handy and can be found with a daily planner, an "at a glance" notebook. It's a bit more expensive than post-it notes, but organizationally speaking, everything is centrally located in one book, which is also a calendar (and this can be had @ Staples for ~26 bucks.) Most folks use a tablet or hand held device. Post-its get messy quick.
When life is in disarray, with no plan, no goal setting, no checklist, no routine -- you're not going to accomplish much, nor stay to task.

Those "negative" folks, to which you refer, I'd be a bit more empathetic and understanding. They might not have had the best upbringing, they may have been abused, they're coping methods may be lacking, they could be pained, suffer from illness, or simply that their brain chemistry or genetic disposition differs from "norm." Empathy is always a good trait.

It doesn't matter how many negative people surround you. If you're okay with yourself and stay true to yourself, you have nothing to worry about (even if you're the grumpiest ******* on the planet.) Although, it's much easier if you've been properly diagnosed so that your illness can be treated.

One man's positive is another's negative. Just depends on who's flippin' the coin.
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Avatar_m_tn
If all your focus is on positive? Are you then ignoring negative? It would seem wise to find solutions to negative problems... that way you improve the whole... rather than live in ignorant bliss.
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973741_tn?1342346373
Not sure what you are talking about manroot.  I was talking about myself and my relationship with my husband.  Rather than be irritated at the little things, I focus on the positive aspects and am noticing it is improving my relationship.  
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973741_tn?1342346373
I am finding that when I put out positive energy, people are usually warm in return.  Of course when someone has deep negativity within and find that to be impossible or very difficult, it is an uphill battle.  For me, it can be easy to see what is wrong with something but it am trying to shift to seeing it for what is right.  

My husband can be a bit cloudy at times. I nicknamed the grim reaper when he is in this mood.  He's like that character with a storm cloud over his head.  That is his issue to deal with.  Being moody is on his to do list for working on.  I am so blessed that he recognizes this.  

Relationships work best when each take the time to evaluate their own issues and try to make progress (no matter how small) at improving them.  

I could, with his moodiness,  berate him, treat him bad, give him the cold shoulder and any number of 'negative things' but have found that if I remain positive (realizing it is HIS issue and not mine)---  he sure comes out of that a lot quicker.  

Just some personal sharing there on things I notice in my own relationship.  
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Avatar_m_tn
I understand now, this is the positive thread, to fight off negativity.

It's ironical, considering 90% of this forum is dedicated to not having enough sex, fighting over pornography, hating on their spouse, leaving their significant other...

Negative always seems to cloud out the positive...
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973741_tn?1342346373
It does when you let it.  

I'm experiencing good things with trying to remain more positive in my long term marriage that was already stable and happy.  Who doesn't want to be happier?  

I guess you are saying that being negative works for you and that is great if it does.  
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Avatar_m_tn
Once you're happy and stable. There's not much to fix. Not sure what this topic is meant to do but brag about your happy life that just gets happier and happier by spending all your waking hours on the net. Sounds a little too happy to be true.

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Avatar_m_tn
See, I'm proving a point, positive attracts negative & negative attracts positive. If we had agreed, this topic would have died long ago. I get to up my post count by making your positive thread negative, while at the same time making this negative forum positive. It's a psychological lesson based on impulsive behaviors. Impulsivity is a sign of low mood, clinginess, and general insecurity. That's why I should get off the net and be positive, because this forum ***** the life out of everyone on here. This is a void, that should be avoided at all costs. Live and be free from the net. lol bye mom.
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13167_tn?1327197724
Well,  manroot,  looking through your profile it does look like you struggle with negative thought processes,  and that may be why you decided to post in this thread.

Like you,  I've found that writing down negative thoughts gets them out of my head.  I have very vivid dreams,  every single night,  and about half are negative.  First thing in the morning,  I go to my computer and write down the dreams,  and then they are truly gone from my thought process.  If I don't do that,  I'm kind of dogged by them all morning until about noon.  Makes for some pretty slow starts.  So that does work,  on paper,  out of mind.

But I really think you might benefit from trying to look for the positives.  Whether you're christian or not,  doesn't matter,  people from all belief systems believe you can direct your attention toward positive and away from negative just by looking for positive ideas.

It's both Christian "seek and ye shall find" and secular,  "if you expect to find something you generally will".  

I think if you took just literally one day,  and everywhere you went you looked for the positive - someone being a caring parent,  a beautiful flower,  a funny bumper sticker,  a sweet smiling dog.  Catalog in your head what you see that's positive,  and dismiss the negative thought patterns.

It's really amazing how much better you feel.
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973741_tn?1342346373
ha ha manroot, you think this is some kind of attraction we have going on?  Pretty sure neither of us are feeling that.  So, really, not sure any point was proven.  :))  

Okay, have a positive and happy day (or try to).  
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Avatar_m_tn
That's just part of the job description living with Bipolar illness. Most of the time I get to be extremely negative and cynical, every so often there's a brief moment of positive, and in some instances I even get to look forward to going psychotic. Life is exciting that way. Especially when moods fluctuate all over the place with every post. I think today I'm feeling a bit irritable, moody, and impulsive. It's probably because I'm somewhat manic and it probably means that the mood stabilizer I'm on needs to be doubled or something. I kind of debate myself as to what would be the best option: torture people, burden them, or numb me from myself. What's my best option? All of the above...

You can kinda tell from my post this instant that I'm seeing the world through the gloom and doom lens. At this stage, looking for anything positive isn't really in my vocabulary. Except for one: I am so glad that I'm not suicidal anymore. The medication I'm on prevents me from going down that path. No amount of writing or therapy can help with that. It's my brain that is the malfunction. If I weren't negative, there'd be no positive to live for.
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I believe I should be getting back to the bipolar forum, so I don't freak y'all out anymore.
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973741_tn?1342346373
manroot, I'm just going to say that I'm sorry about any suffering in your life and struggles you've had.  I guess this post struck a nerve with you when it was meant to be much more light hearted (maybe even uplifting) than that.  I'm hoping for better days for you and for an easier time of it.  Sincerely.  peace
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3605625_tn?1385021148
I know exactly what you're talking about specialmom........I have watched that DVD called 'the secret' and that has a lot of positive affirmations in it, all about generating a positive energy when it comes to money, relationships and your health. Many many times I have tried to abide by the positivity you have to out put, but I mainly always fail, but I do believe in whatever you put out there, you get back. I think it is a wonderful way to live! Just yesterday I bought some 'smudge' sticks, to burn through my house and get rid of all the negative energy and vibes that were in my house, I even 'smudged' around myself, hoping to rid myself of all my negativity!! It seems to be working so far, although I know a lot of it has to do with the way I handle my own thinking and thoughts, and it is very hard! When my daughter came home from her fathers today I almost felt like I was back at square one when she informed me that her dad is so poor and has no money since he's had to put our son through school, and he'd told them how easy I had it because I had money! I got that sinking stabbing feeling again, but I fought it off, and tried remembering how our house and myself were 'cleansed' now and whatever negativity he says just doesn't matter.
So definately I believe in positivity in all aspects, but there will always be negative bad news throughout our lives, it just depends on out mindset and how we handle it.
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1268057_tn?1424521925
I believe in this to a certain extent.  It depends on the situation, who you are dealing with, etc.

With the positive thinking you must also be prepared to have a plan to put into action.  It isn't as simple as putting post-its all over the house waiting for great things to happen.  I see the post-its more as motivators then drawing positive energy.  

I do believe we draw what we are comfortable with..........that may be negativity or positivity and there are so many factors that will determine what we have a propensity to be drawn to or who/what we draw to us.

Positivity and negativity are needed for a balance in my opinion.  The world would be most definitely boring and sad if we had all positive or all negative.  In my own life, I have been more motivated by negative situations and negative people to do better and to be stronger as a person.  Sometimes there is a negative story behind greatness.

My thoughts.
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Avatar_m_tn
It's really all my fault, I'm sorry about being grumpy yesterday (when that happens I need to have better control. I have to restrain myself from posting or texting or talking.) I'm okay today, I just wish I were more positive.
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