Dream

[Hart47]

Yesterday I dreamt about my first love-we were making up. It has been sometime since we last talked. The desire to call him is so great but I've been avoiding it for so long because I don't want to be obsess with him anymore, what happened last night made me remember the wonderful time we had if you know what I mean. What do you suggest I do? Thank you in advance...

[lovethebops]

I don't think it is wrong that you descided to not speak with your ex, if that is the better thing for you..I always thought that my situation did not end the way it was supposed to, that I never had a chance to say the things I needed to say and to tell him how awful a person he was to me. I actually never got to say anything at all..My now husband went to him and chewed him out and threatened him that if he ever came near me, he'd beat him up..(In not so many nice words)..But I guess the way it ended is the way it ended, and I am still struggling to put a period at the end of this sometimes...But I know it is for the best, and sometimes I'm OK with it, other times it bugs me. It depends on my mood I guess. If that is what is better for you too, than heck, don't bother to speak with him either! I have a lot on my mind now anyways, with the new baby and all...I don't know what I am having yet, I am only like 1 month along, but I am definately going to find out when I can..Thanks for writing back, it was nice talking with you, and it helped me in my situation that maybe it isn't as bad as I think, and others have to deal with it too. Talk to you later~bops

[Hart47]

Thank you very much for giving me that kind of encouragement - for not calling him. BTW congratulations on your on your pregnancy, is it a boy or girl? As someone mentioned to me let the past stay with the past, I appreciates these kind of encouragement, two days ago I saw his photo in a newspaper - he and his team at first I've the urge to call him as I tot it's the 'sign' but then thanks for your words...IT HELPS A LOT! Hope to know you better. - Hart47

[lovethebops]

Well, i don't think his fiance would really appreciate me calling him now..I am perfectly OK with not speaking with him , I actually perfer not to. It has been over 7 years since I have last spoken to him, and I have accepted that I will never speak to him and the issue will probably take many more years to go away, if ever..(he did some pretty awful things to me, things I went along with when I didn't want to, and then gave me a bad reputation, which was all based on lies to cover his own tracks..Don't all of us women deal with a guy like that at some point in our lives?:)..I would perfer never to speak with him and not toy with our past. I am Perfectly happy and in love with the man I married (He actually saved me from the loser I have mentioned above), I have a 21 month old daughter and 1 more on the way. My life is better off with out him in it in anyway, but I merely suggested you to resolve your issue, if you can, because back then I wished I had taken the oppurtunity when I could..There is nothing I can or care to do about it now. Good luck with your situation, and I wish mine were not so complicated that I could, but it is something I just have to deal with now. Best of luck to you!~bops

[Hart47]

When I read your post I think like I'm looking at a mirror what you said and experience is like what've gone thru. Like you I too tot the same about him, till today some issues with him is still unsolved, as for him however I'm hesitate to call becos he's married, if you're in my shoes will you call him because this things have been taunting me for nearly 2.5yrs.

[lovethebops]

I have had similar dreams as you! When I was a teenager, I was in love with (or thought I was) this total jerk! I just worshipped him, and he just used me over and over, until i had enough, ended it, and quit speaking with him and immediatly started to date my now husband. I never really resolved the situation and I see him regularly and it is uncomfortable because we have not spoken in 7 years. Now I am married and a mother of one, and I continue to have dreams, not about the present, but how things were back then (we did have a few good times)..I know the reason I have these dreams is because in my mind and heart, the issue is unresolved. The issue is too complicated (he is now engaged, and my husband hates him for all he did to me, and I'm still so hurt by his actions) to just call him up and say all that i need to say now, but if you are in a position to resolve unfinished business, do it. I know what I would need to do to take care of this, but things are so far gone, I don't think I will ever be able to resolve it. And that is something I have to live with. I'm glad I am not the only one out there that experiences this..I would say to you, if there is any you can do to rectify the situation, and you have the power to do it, then do it. I kind of wished I had...

[anxiousmomtobe?]

If you have unresolved feelings for this person and they are not in a committed relationship you should look them up.  

It is easy to idealize a past relationship, but think logically about why you broke up.

[slow_healer]

Dreams can be your subconscious mind's way of working through things, as it sounds like you're still getting past this person. It is not necessarily a sign as to what you should do. What you choose to do shouldn't depend on the occurrence of the dream.