Ex Girlfriend Issues

[nelliot91]

So I have been dating my fiance for about 5 months.  Yes it may be a short amount of time but we are crazy about each other.  He dated his ex-girlfriend on and off for 4 years and broke up on bad terms-he broke up with her because she cheated numerous times and treated him badly.  He kept going back to her for those 4 years because anytime he would start talking to another girl she would find her way back into his life.  Since he has met me, he hasn't talked to her or expressed any desire in getting back together with her because he says his future is with me.  Even though he constantly tells me how beautiful/funny/sexy woman he has ever me, I can't help but think she is prettier than me.  While this may not be the case (I actually think we're on the same level) I still can't stop thinking of if others think that she is prettier.  His friends love me, his family likes me and I guess the question I'm looking to ask is how can I get over this irrational jealousy because I literally have no reason to think negatively.  Thanks for any help!!

[specialmom]

I agree with these other smart ladies.  You can't worry about past girlfriends, it will drive you crazy.  They didn't work out for a reason.   I think if you have this insecurity it may be too soon to be engaged.  You are still young and I hope that you are pursuing other things in your life like school and a career.  You are at an age in which the whole direction of your life can be determined so do not lose yourself completely into a relationship.  I'm a mother hen on that-----  sorry.  But I do think it is worth thinking about why you are jealous of an ex girlfriend.  Some of it is natural and some of it is that we have insecurity.  The way to overcome insecurity is from within and the things we do to enhance ourselves.  So keep on top of those things and your relationship will continue to grow and the ex girlfriend will fade further and further away.  good luck

[mami1323]

Judy is right, you have the power here.  Men like confident women, not insecure ones.  He's obviously attracted to you, he's obviously in love with you and he's obviously done with her.  There is no need to reliving the past.  She was never an issue in your relationship to begin with, don't make her one now.  It's normal to feel a bit jealous and insecure over your lover's past but if you let it consume you, you will be damaging your relationship.  There are so many other things to focus on then his past.  It's your thoughts that need to be controlled.  Don't look at her, don't look at pictures of her, don't look her up on FaceBook or Myspace if she has those things.  Just pretend like she doesn't exist.  She's no competition, keep that in mind.

[Judy246]

You are making unecessary problems for yourself and keeping the past in the future. So what if she     Is, YOU got the man! We all have a past and history.  Keep her where she now belongs, in the past. He is with you, so enjoy your man and don't worry about what you can't control and life is so much more than just looks. A woman with self confidence will radiate both inner and outer beauty, so don't give anyone that satisfaction of seen you insecure and work on your self esteem. Good Luck!