Faking it

[j8j9]

My moto had always been, never fake it otherwise you're steering him to do the wrong thing, and he'll keep doing that so you'll have to keep faking it. So I never used to.

I've been sleeping with my partner 2-3 years now. It's passionate and he's hot. I love the visual. I can come when he gives me oral but a big thing for me is the mental, I cannot come unless I can quickly switch off. During sex, I suppose I don't easily switch off because I'm trying to make it good for him. I wondered whether it was because I just couldn't come through intercourse so I had a cheeky evening by myself with strictly no clitoris action, and eventually yes, I came. Eventually! I had a small amount of clitoris help but not all the way to the end. So I was pleased with that.

I'll fake coming like 5 times in one sex session because I want him to know how much I appreciate him - I know he's good in bed, it feels bloody amazing, I suppose I've shot myself in the foot because I started faking it, and now it's a vicious circle of having to continue to do so now otherwise I'll seem unsatisfied - when I'll actually be more satisfied because I'm not having to pretend he's making me climax again and again and again. You can tell a guy over and over that climax is not the be all and end all, but they'll never feel that you're okay with that.
Should I just stop faking it? I'm starting to get bored of the sex because I've got stuck in this rut of faking it. He's recently confessed to be a bit bored, even though he's physically very attracted to me, but he'll carry on because I seem to be enjoying it - but I can't exactly turn around and say, 'well actually, I haven't come once'.

I want to change things and sometimes I think the only way is to break away, but that's not what I want (neither of us do).

[mrssandefur]

My husband can.make me.orgasm like that WHEN IM NOT PREGNANT but it is possible. Being Prego changes your body like that, its harder to finish.

[teko]

5 orgasms in one session? And he buys  that?

I dont think its selfish to put ones self first. Everyone knows it is harder and takes longer for the female. A guy worth his salt already knows that and acts accordingly. If this is not happening, however it has to happen. I think the communication skills are lacking.

You are not doing yourself any favors by faking it and your not doing him any either. Now how do you go back from that?

Talk!

[Londres70]

If he believed you had 5 orgasms in one go then he must believe anything.  If some woman (if I was a guy) told me that I would assume she is lying.  

Your statement..."My moto had always been, never fake it otherwise you're steering him to do the wrong thing, and he'll keep doing that so you'll have to keep faking it. So I never used to.".....Why are you doing this now then?

Quit faking it and try to work with your partner to figure out how you all can sort this out.  I don't condone lying to someone.  "Faking it" is being dishonest and misleading someone.  To add....he has confessed to being "bored" even with all this "faking."

Sounds like you need to get "real" and address this problem/issue instead of avoiding it by "faking."

[AnnieBrooke]

I guess in the guy's shoes I would have been a little mistrustful of the five times anyway, so possibly if you have a serious conversation you're going to have to pin it on yourself and your insecurities more than on him.  Because if you say "I did it because I wanted to show you you're a good lover," he'll think "She could have shown me I'm a good lover with one or two orgasms.  What kind of an egotist does she think I am that I'd need five?"  You'd have to say something more along the lines that you're always so anxious to please when having sex, that you just let things escalate, or something like that.   Be ready for him to be pretty annoyed that you faked, nobody likes to feel fooled.

[TTinKKerBBell]

OMGolly!!  Faking 5 TIMES in one session!!  That's going to be hard one to reconcile!!  (P.S.  I love the way You delicately expressed Your night alone!! - You're cute!!)  Good luck with this.

[specialmom]

Ugh.  Yeah, you shot yourself in the foot.  Now you either hurt his feelings and make him think he's not 'performing' as he was before OR you have an awkward and uncomfortable conversation with him in which you tell him you've been faking to boost his ego.  You pick which one sounds less painful and go with it.  

That's a hard one. If only we could go back in time . . .

good luck dear.