For military wives

[Adriana03]

So im 6 weeks pregnate but I have a problem I'm married but ive been seperated for 6 months but I reconnected with and old friend whos in the army and I am now pregnate how does this affect him he wants to be there but how does he do that help please

[specialmom]

Hm.  Well, a school crush is now the father of your child.  That is a BIG thing.  Sadly, he isn't offering a relationship to you.  You WILL need some things from him and it is time to have a serious talk.  You need him to pay child support when the baby is born and for him to make the effort to be a father to this child.  I don't think this baby is going to make you two a couple from the sounds of it but you will hopefully be able to coparent this child.

I guess I'd move to where you'll have the most help and support----  probably near your own family and then make the baby available if the father comes around.  

Ugh.  If the relationship is over between you and your ex, it's over.  And I would just look to anything the crush/father gives as a bonus (although he absolutely owes support and may not realize this yet, and yes!  Make it legal).  

Do you think you can raise this baby alone?

[Adriana03]

Well he says he will be there for me if I need anything. Ive known this guy for like 6years he was my crush in high school and I was his but I got pregnate so I left school and I didnt talk to him till like a year ago again old feelings came back. But with my husband I love him but I can't trust him so I'm sooo confused

[specialmom]

Well, then I'm confused about how he 'wants to be there for you'.  What does he mean by that?

Do you love the husband you are seperated from?  You don't sound like you know the man that fathered this baby well enough to love him or want to be with him,

So, you can go back to your husband but only if you do still love him and try to make a family or you can be a single mom and let the father of the baby know that he has an open door to his child and WILL be paying support for this child untl he/she turns 18.  (make that happen).  

What are YOUR feelings on this?

[Adriana03]

Well we are not really dating and I told my husband that I was pregnate and for some reason he wants to work things out with me and the babys father said he wanted no commitment with me right know he doesn't know how he feels about me but he wants to be there for the baby

[specialmom]

Are you dating??  I would officially divorce as THAT relationship is obviously over.  And if he wants to make you his official signficant other, you could move to base housing with him????  Then if he is deployed----  you just hope he is back home for the birth or sometime there after.  

I'm sure HE knows about the structure of his job, right?  What does he say?  Does he want to make you his official partner now that you two are having a baby?