Aa
Friends knowing I'm very self connsise about my body so why do they point it out?
Hay, I'm 14 and very unconfortable with my body. I also got this friend who is supper skinny. She's way skinnyer than me and she's constantly yelling at me that I'm TOO skinny and I'm scary. How can that be when I can't get my hands around my legs but her legs are twigs! Dosent she notice she's the scaryly skinny one! She eats less than me and she calls me anoxic! What the hell! Why dose she do that!? Also you know that flab on your arms right? Yah everyones got it unless your a body builder and you're 100% muscle...anyways so she also comes up and playing with my arm flab an layghs "haha! Flabby! It's all squishy!" she also dose it to my thighs and laughs at my stomach and how I look pregnant. I ******* hate it!!! Sorry for my language. I'm so mad cuz she was just doing that in the car the other day and when my dad offered ice cream I said no but then she gave me this dirty look like I was trying to starve myself, well after what she dose, yah!!
She knows I hate my body, so why dose she do it? What the hell would anyone do it! I tell her to stop all the time and she always comes back with "gezz, don't need to get so defensive" and when I tell er I don't like it she says "well you could just tell me," and I did! I try ignoring it but then she starts pulling and pinching my fat and if anyone knows it hurts! I can't ignor that!! I hate it and I'm scard to hang out with her now. Why would she do that? What's she trying to get out of it? Also how can I get her to stop?
She knows I hate my body, so why dose she do it? What the hell would anyone do it! I tell her to stop all the time and she always comes back with "gezz, don't need to get so defensive" and when I tell er I don't like it she says "well you could just tell me," and I did! I try ignoring it but then she starts pulling and pinching my fat and if anyone knows it hurts! I can't ignor that!! I hate it and I'm scard to hang out with her now. Why would she do that? What's she trying to get out of it? Also how can I get her to stop?
I'm 110 pounds and thanks. I do try to avoid her but we carpool all the time so there's never a full escape from her. Thanks a ton, :) also I don't like to say she's abusive as from what my dad would always say. Even if it is true I don't ever what to use the word "you" "are" and "abusive" in the same senentce. Again, thanks
Libby is a swimmer, and has been doing well with her body too, bringing it up from starvation levels to a pretty normal, slightly underweight size. From what she's wrote, dad and mom are not going to be a big help here.
Libby, honey, I second what sweetpea says. Don't hang around with someone who has more problems than you. Please. All she will do is torture you and hit you where you live (in the self-doubt region). It sounds like you have pulled yourself up by the bootstraps and are going to have to keep doing it until you are in control of your own life and not carrying the burden of worrying about your brother and all, don't make it harder than it is, and by that I mean don't gravitate towards hanging around with this damaged girl who has such body esteem issues that she seeks to pick on you. You do know, don't you, that as you get more healthy and less concerned about what she is saying, she will redouble her efforts to say snipey things and make you feel bad? She wants you to be one-down so she can feel one-up to SOMEONE. Don't let that person be you. You have much better things to do in life than be the whipping boy for some person with a distorted self-image and low self esteem.
Libby, honey, I second what sweetpea says. Don't hang around with someone who has more problems than you. Please. All she will do is torture you and hit you where you live (in the self-doubt region). It sounds like you have pulled yourself up by the bootstraps and are going to have to keep doing it until you are in control of your own life and not carrying the burden of worrying about your brother and all, don't make it harder than it is, and by that I mean don't gravitate towards hanging around with this damaged girl who has such body esteem issues that she seeks to pick on you. You do know, don't you, that as you get more healthy and less concerned about what she is saying, she will redouble her efforts to say snipey things and make you feel bad? She wants you to be one-down so she can feel one-up to SOMEONE. Don't let that person be you. You have much better things to do in life than be the whipping boy for some person with a distorted self-image and low self esteem.
Libby, at your age, some girls like to put others down to try to make themselves feel better. It's horrible, but eventually they'll grow out of it. Hopefully sooner than later, but until then try to let the comments "role off of your back" and just not take them personally. I personally would stop hanging out with her for a while if I were you. She's not much of a friend if she is treating you this way. Just take a break from her for now and maybe you can be friends again later on. Your friends should accept you for who you are, no matter how you look. You don't need to change yourself. And please, do NOT starve yourself. I watched my friend who was anorexic throughout high school and now has several health problems because of it. It's hard to see. Just be healthy. Eat somewhat healthy, but you can have dessert, too. And exercise, which will help you feel better about yourself. If you want to talk, you can send me a message.
Libby darling, this girl is NOT your friend. I don't know pretend to know what sickness she has that makes her enjoy abusing you, but you don't have to put up with her behavior. Tell her straight up that if her abusive behavior and intense focus on your body doesn't stop right now, she is out of your life. Period.
Poor body image and low self-esteem is all too common among teenage girls and for a whole host of reasons. Self-esteem is earned through our own hard work; it is not something that is handed out when we are conceived or talked into as we grow up. It's easy enough for me to sit here and tell you that what you see in the mirror is just fine and perfectly normal, but you won't believe me. Nor should you. You have to believe it yourself. If you really believe you need to change your appearance, the good news is that you CAN change it! We all have the capability to change our physiques, but not everyone has the will to actually do it.
I know you'll roll your eyes and groan when I say this, but talk to your parents about all this, including the way your so-called "friend" treats you. If they can swing it, ask about a membership at a gym and some sessions with a personal trainer. A trainer is an absolute necessity in the beginning so you don't hurt yourself using incorrect form or burn out because you pushed too hard too fast.
The reason I suggest weight training is that it's a one-on-one sport and you're only competing against yourself. You don't have to rely on anyone else to succeed. Every gain you make is due to your own effort, and that is one great feeling! Don't worry about getting "bulky" - that doesn't happen to women. We get curvy, and curves are what women are supposed to have. I was a gym rat for many years and had to quit due to medical problems. Weightlifting is in the top 5 of the list of things I truly miss.
There is no reason for you to have to be miserable, nor is there any good reason to put up with abuse from anyone. Take control over your own life and make some changes in your body if you really feel it's necessary. It really is true that you have to love yourself first and foremost before others find you attractive. You are worthy of love and respect, but you have to convince yourself of that fact. Nobody else can do it for you.
If physical activity isn't the way to earn your own respect, then find something else that you enjoy. Do you like to sing? Join the school choir. How about art? Any other kind of music? This is the time of your life that you can explore different things to find out what you enjoy and where your natural talents lie. Take advantage of it! Talk to your parents about all this, or at least an adult that you trust and respect. Above all, don't keep people in your life who enjoy making you the butt of their cruelty. You don't need to understand why your friend does what she does, but you don't have to allow it to continue. :-)
Poor body image and low self-esteem is all too common among teenage girls and for a whole host of reasons. Self-esteem is earned through our own hard work; it is not something that is handed out when we are conceived or talked into as we grow up. It's easy enough for me to sit here and tell you that what you see in the mirror is just fine and perfectly normal, but you won't believe me. Nor should you. You have to believe it yourself. If you really believe you need to change your appearance, the good news is that you CAN change it! We all have the capability to change our physiques, but not everyone has the will to actually do it.
I know you'll roll your eyes and groan when I say this, but talk to your parents about all this, including the way your so-called "friend" treats you. If they can swing it, ask about a membership at a gym and some sessions with a personal trainer. A trainer is an absolute necessity in the beginning so you don't hurt yourself using incorrect form or burn out because you pushed too hard too fast.
The reason I suggest weight training is that it's a one-on-one sport and you're only competing against yourself. You don't have to rely on anyone else to succeed. Every gain you make is due to your own effort, and that is one great feeling! Don't worry about getting "bulky" - that doesn't happen to women. We get curvy, and curves are what women are supposed to have. I was a gym rat for many years and had to quit due to medical problems. Weightlifting is in the top 5 of the list of things I truly miss.
There is no reason for you to have to be miserable, nor is there any good reason to put up with abuse from anyone. Take control over your own life and make some changes in your body if you really feel it's necessary. It really is true that you have to love yourself first and foremost before others find you attractive. You are worthy of love and respect, but you have to convince yourself of that fact. Nobody else can do it for you.
If physical activity isn't the way to earn your own respect, then find something else that you enjoy. Do you like to sing? Join the school choir. How about art? Any other kind of music? This is the time of your life that you can explore different things to find out what you enjoy and where your natural talents lie. Take advantage of it! Talk to your parents about all this, or at least an adult that you trust and respect. Above all, don't keep people in your life who enjoy making you the butt of their cruelty. You don't need to understand why your friend does what she does, but you don't have to allow it to continue. :-)
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