Girlfreinds cheated - need some advice..

[j0nny132]

Basicaly i logged on to my girlfreinds facebook to send myself a free gift for farmville, when i logged on there was a chat log at the bottom with a convo between my girlfreind and her freind, cut along story short in the chat she go's on about meeting this new man and how sound he is and then she says that she has slept with him twice!!!!! At this moment my heart starts racing the pain in my chest was unberable, just thinking that the one person who i loved and trusted could do such a thing.

i need advice as in what to do, my heart is saying try and sort things out with her, but then there is somthing saying walk away. Someone please help!!!

[Judy246]

Hi Jonny, I looked at your profile and you are 17 and you are a very handsome young man!!!  I'm so very sorry this is happening to you, but it's good that she got caught. I always say that everything that is in the dark or in secret always has a way of coming to light and exposed.  First, this is not your fault. We all have choices and this is a choice that she knowingly made. Relationships are based on communication and trust. Once trust has been broken, it changes the dynamics of the relationship to dysfunctional.  Present your findings to her and "discuss" not fight what you saw, read and give her a chance to explain herself to you, before getting all rattled and bent out of shape. Give her the benefit of the doubt first, but be firm, strong and opened minded to what she has to say, then you can take the next step, but you must first confront the issue of possible infidelity then after the facts, make the best decision for you....not her, for you.  Start with that and get back to us with what happened.  Judy

[Judy246]

Invitation to new "Infidelity" forum that mami created. I invite you to share what you are feeling with others that are going through the same pain as you are by simply clicking on my name "Judy246', go down to "Communities", click on "Infidelity", click on "join" then to get to the forum, simply go into your own profile communities and click on it.

[mami1323]

Thanks Judy for introducing the new group.  j0nny the first step would be to confront her on your findings.  Her reaction to you finding out will be a guide to how you will want to proceed next.  If she is remorseful and regretful for her actions than perhaps you may be able to talk through it and decide whether you want to continue to work on the relationship.  If she isn't any of those things or she's making excuses than I say she will most likely continue to cheat.  However, just because you are willing to work things out doesn't mean you will continue to feel that way.  At first you will want to hold on to her because you love her but as time passes and the thoughts sink in, those feelings change because you will have many ups and downs of emotions and how you feel today may not be how you feel tomorrow.  So I don't think you should make her any guarantees.  Tell her you will simply have to see how it goes and take it slow.  Now like Judy pointed out, you are 17 and I believe she must be around the same age.  You are both so young and most likely will want to continue to explore life and so this may be a great opportunity for you both to take a break to see what else is out there.  She may be questioning whether she wants to be so serious with only one person at such a young age and feel like she is curious.  At this age curiousity sometimes takes over.  You one day may feel the same and may want to explore.  I would be pushing for you to work things out more so if you were in your late 20's or 30's and have children together, since there is more at stake and there is a family to think about but when you don't have that, there isn't much of a reason to stay with someone who will cheat on you.  But again, the choice is yours and you should go by how you feel.  Good luck, I understand how you feel and the initial shock of it all.  Give yourself time to heal.

[jo929]

you might as well walk away, you are to young to be serious about any one girl yet you need to concentrate on an education first go out with others, but be careful you do not end up a teen dad  luck  jo

[Judy246]

Turn your focus on school. Meeting and making new friends. Socialize in school events and clubs and I promise it will help your outlook in a positive direction...Judy

[MrS_L0PeZ]

I echo the advice the other ladies said. Good Luck and do whats best for you!!

[jewelscute1]

Once a cheater, always a cheater.  Erase her facebook page and never talk to her again.  Make sure you change everything, just so she knows why she has died to you.  She isn't even worth your breath.  It'll take about 2 weeks.  You will be fine.