Girlfriend suddenly broke up with me to be with friends and have total freedom again

[inspiredby]

About 5 days ago, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me out of nowhere. She said that she wants her old life back, and just wants to have her total freedom again and wants to be with her friends more. Her and I havent really talked much since then, but I posted on my personal myspace account that I was looking for a new girl, and she sent me a message saying that it hurt her to see that. She knows I would do anything back, but she doesnt want to talk to me very much to make things easier. I know she still has feelings for me, but she just wont say it. A few days after we broke up, i met her to give her back some of her stuff, and we talked for about an hour, and she started kissing me, and saying she didnt know why she was doing this. She also said she still loves me, but she doesnt want to be tied down right now. Im not sure what i should do, at all. I still love her, and her telling me she wants her space, and not talking to her is hard, should I try and call her? I dont know what to do.

[mami1323]

I agree with Joalbert, she doesn't want you but doesn't want you to be with anyone else.  She's very selfish obviously and isn't emotionally ready to be with you.  Whatever her reasons behind it really doesn't matter.  She wants to have her fun but seems like she wants her cake and to eat it to.  As long as she knows that you are there for her when she's ready to come back, she will take all the time she wants.  She's secure with you and knows that she can string you along for as long as possible.  Not healthy for you, you will just wind up being hurt over and over again.  Make a clean break from her now.  Once she sees that you moved on, she will be crawling back to you saying she made a big mistake.  Even then I would just keep moving forward.  My fiance had dated a girl before me.  She would commit herself to him and then take it back saying that she just didn't want to be tied down.  When he met me she felt intimidated and decided she had made a mistake and wanted him back.  Being the dumb a** that he was, he went back to try to make it work with her.  She than cheated on him.  So you see she didn't want him, she just didn't want him to be with anyone else.  He came back to me and not because she dumped him but because he realized what type of person she was and realized he had something good.  We did work things out and we are getting married and have a baby on the way.  My point is, this girl is like my fiance's ex.  Don't fall for it because out there is a girl who will really appreciate you and you may not give her the chance she deserves because you are waiting for this chick to make up her mind.  

[anxiousmomtobe?]

You need time to get over this girl before you start advertising on the web that you are looking for a new girl.  That makes me think your feelings for her are not all that deep.

And I agree with the other posters, she is just not that into you.  Move one, in the future you can be her friend, just not now.

[PlateletGal]

This girl doesn't know what she wants. It happens often in very young people. I think the best thing for you to do in this situation is break up with her, like she requested and give her the space that she needs.

Best Wishes,

PlateletGal

[bip]

Ya, I would forget about her. Try not to contact her anyway. She will keep doing this over and over to you. Go out and enjoy life!!!!

[chellybeans]

i think slow_healer hit the neail on the head. if she finds a new love you'll be the last guy she calls, but if she finds herself lonely she'll be ringing your phone off the hook. of course she wants to push you away while keeping you close enough to drag you back in. she's stringing you along as a back up plan. girls (or guys) like this think the grass is greener on the other side, but then they are worried it might not be.

don't let yourself be her back up plan. you need to value yourself more than that.i would tell her that if she doesn't care for what's on your myspace then she should just avoid checking it. it's silly for her to say she wants her freedom, then claim to be hurt that you are not interested in being single.

move on, limit contact and work on your own joys, whether it be school, work, friends or whatnot. then if you meet someone and it works, great. but don't rush into something just to fill a void either.

good luck

[Joalbert]

I think that she doesn't want to be with you anymore, but as soon as you want to be with someone else she wants you back. She simply wants you to be lonely and still be in love with her. Or unless she just wants to be with you but still fool around with others. If I were you I would simply go on with my life and maybe give her one more chance before moving on, so that she can decide what she really wants, you or different guys.
If she still doesn't know then move on, why spend time on someone that doesn't know if they love or not.
Well good luck I hope that you find someone better, that will love you and not be confuse about it after a year of datting.
:)

[slow_healer]

I agree with the two previous posters. This girl doesn't know what she wants, and is not handling the situation well if she is pushing you away and then pulling you closer. If I were you, I would tell her that you want to be friends (of course) but that you need time to get over the change, and part of that involves not talking to her for a while. It's up to her to be mature enough to deal with that.

Before you decide to tough it out, think about the most likely courses of action. She will probably string you along until she meets the somebody she's really looking for (whether it's a real person or someone who fulfills her fantasy). Then she will ditch you. If the new relationship works out, your friendship will become low priority. If the new relationship fails, she will be your best friend again and you two might get back together. End point - this is 100% about what she wants. It's not at all about what you want, and only you can decide AND act on whether what you want is important.

Just an opinion based on what you've chosen to share. It's never easy being rejected, but don't let your happiness and well-being solely reside on somebody who has made it clear you are not a high priority in their life. Good luck!

[barn babe]

Forget about her. If you take her back, the same sh*t will happen again. She's ambivalent.

And if somebody doesn't know what they want, they don't deserve what they have.  

So forget about it. I'd also try and avoid any contact with her. It'll just be hurtful for you.  

[RockRose]

Inspired,  try to get over her.  Is this how you want to live - with this kind of drama?

First she breaks up.  Then she gets all upset that you're looking for a new girlfriend,  and comes on to you.

Sounds like a recipe for a hellish life.