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Guys only want one thing?
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Guys only want one thing?

Hi Everyone!  Please note I only get on the computer about once a week so I won't be able to elaborate on this question right away.

My 15-year-old daughter's father and his friend told her that "guys only want one thing (sex)"  

I've always agreed with this philosophy; however, I am now reconsidering because I think her current boyfriend probably wants that but also really likes her and values their friendship & developing relationship.

Can anyone tell me what they've told their daughters about relationships?  Thanks!
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7 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
this may be a little crude but back when my chidren were old enough to date and i would not let them at 15 but remember that was a long long time ago i told my daughters almost the same except i said make sure you keep your panties on and your dress down when you find the right one you will know it and then you will stand before god and all and take your vows back then- people did not take sex lightly as they do today my girls went out with the crowd but not with boys alone 15 is to youn to really form attachment to one boy this may bring a lot of people down on me but back then that was the way it was and look at today so many born out of wedlock and they guys not taking responsibility of course a guy will if she will that is a natural thing i am not telling you not to let your daughter date you know her well that is your decision, i just wanted you to know about the good ole days    lots luck  jo
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Avatar_f_tn
That just maybe good advice.

Dove
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13167_tn?1327197724
mgp - I don't think guys ONLY want one thing,  but it's good advice for a teenage girl not take boy's declarations of everlasting love very seriously.  In the back seat of a car,  they DO only want one thing,  and it's isn't forever and ever love.  

Girls don't seem to get that because girls equate sex with love so much more than boys.

I think jo is right,  too,  that 15 year old girls shouldn't be given any alone time with boyfriends.  They're just not ready to handle all that.
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Avatar_n_tn
This may be true for the majority of guys but saying that is like saying women want only one thing (money). Both are very safe assumptions now lets stop being sexist and start being mature.
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377600_tn?1225167036
I agree with jo929.  I wouldn't let my fifteen year old date.  At that age, boys are looking just to have sex.  Even if her boyfriend does like and value her, he would have sex with her in a minute if she allowed it.  Emotionally, fifteen year olds are not equipped to handle those sorts of things well.

Also, jo929, don't go around MedHelp saying people should have values and get married before having babies because some whiny people might say you are abusing them and have your whole post removed.  Even if they say profanity to you--you are the bad person because you say that it is better to be married when pregnant.

HelpMe907--Help yourself and stop it with the sexist load.

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Avatar_f_tn
i reall did not mean to hurt anyones feelings, i only wanted the young people to think more of themselves i did notthink think the remark about taking vows first would make people think i was abusing them sorry guys if i stepped on toes i just was trying to ans the best way i know how i sure did not know med help frowned on it    so sorry jo
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Avatar_f_tn
i am new to computer and rules on and things how do i contact med hel so they can tell me if i am stepping on toes and where the boundries are    jo
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377600_tn?1225167036
No, I just had it happen to me.  This woman, BabyHardiman, on the step-parenting forum had the entire thread removed because I said she should have been married when she got pregnant.

All she does is write posts about how the ex-wife is doing things wrong.  She kept calling her boyfriend a partner.  How was I supposed to know they were going to get married?  I told her she should call him her fiance.  Now, in her new posts, she is calling him her fiance.

Imagine that.

I posted to her new (today) post to give my opinion and to show her that I really don't care if she had the whole thread removed; she is just one of those people....

For her, the ex wife is always doing something wrong and she is the perfect one.  

I told her that she needs to accept the ex because she will always be a part of her fiance's life since they have children and were married like 18 years.

She got infuriated over that.

Oh well....

Just be careful because some people have tender toes:)
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82861_tn?1333457511
Fifteen year olds are legally considered "minor children" for a reason: they aren't mature enough for a life-long relationship, much less a sexual relationship.  I don't care if you're talking about a boy or a girl, sex at that age is just a bad idea.  It doesn't matter many lectures they've had about "safe sex", accidents are more likely to happen with a teenager - and they still happen with grown adults.  I was never blessed with my own children, but come on, sexual responsibility is just common sense.  

mjp - I completely agree with you, and my sister who has 4 children has stayed the same course.  Her children can go on group outings that may include a "special" someone, but a real date isn't going to happen until they hit 16.  Yeah, they griped some initially, but the older kids who are in their 20's now look back on their friends who are now parents, and they actually thank my sister for holding them to the line.  

Hormones are a difficult thing to deal with in any teenager, but the situation is not an impossible one.  I know far too many parents who just gave up and said, "They're going to do it anyway, there's nothing I can do about it."  Bull tacos!  Certainly boys (and girls) in their early teens want to experiment, but the real problem is that they believe doing so is entirely OK.  Where did they get that idea from?  Why was it never drilled into their heads that even so-called safe sex can result in a pregnancy (or disease) and the 100% sure bet is to abstain until one is old enough to deal with consequences?  Aw nuts... I'm climbing off the Old Folks' Soap Box...
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177641_tn?1189759437
I second Rockrose and HELPME907 - alienating the opposite sex probably isn't the best approach for your daughter in the long run. Why can't your daughter's father assure her that although the vast majority of men will mainly want sex, that it takes boys much longer to mature than girls. That's why waiting is worthwhile. Why not help her develop those skills in picking out the junk guys from the good ones? Whether 15 is too young or not, she's going to be thinking about it either way.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hmm.  Oddly enough I would have to qualify it to TEENAGE boys only want one thing.
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Avatar_n_tn
I think you're a hypocrite, this entire thread is "sexist load" saying a woman is only interested in money is just as true as saying men are only interested in sex. You're generalizing people, being prejudice, so stop it.
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Avatar_n_tn
agreed with everything
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Avatar_f_tn
15 year old girls should not have to worry about sex and serious relationships.

That may be true but there are to many 15 year old girls have sex and babies.

Dove
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Avatar_f_tn
When my nephew was a teenager, he used to get all sorts of suggestive "notes" from girls.  The girls "knew" about sexual acts and would write about them to my nephew!  Where & how did they learn this stuff at 14, 15?!   I always wondered where these young girls mothers were and why they didn't know that their daughters were writing such sexual notes to my nephew.  I'm not saying my nephew was an angel, but he seemed a little naive to me about girls.  I know he liked the attention but he just didn't know what to do about it.

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82861_tn?1333457511
My sister noticed the same thing happening when her son was a teenager.  It was the girls constantly calling the boys and offering to perform sexual acts.  WT???!!!!  I've wondered exactly the same thing.  Where in the world are the parents of these kids?  Do they even have a clue what the kids are using those cell phones for?  Makes me almost glad I was never able to conceive - I'd be a basket case trying to raise a decent, moral and ethical kid these days.
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381551_tn?1208757643
Ya know, I don't mean to get off on a completely different topic (and what I believe is another huge problem in this world)  but I personally think these girls get these ideas very young from things like "brats" dolls and provocative clothes they make in like size 6 girls!  They see young women who are famous and rich drinking, smoking, partying and still getting tons of attention so why shouldn't they? right?  and on the guys side young guys see some older ones (and not much older) talking about sex or women like they are a prize.  of course its going to start young... my daughter is six months old and I tell you what... the idea of her being 13 or 14 scares the **** outa me.  
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Avatar_f_tn
Don't ever tell your daughter that guys only want sex. Just warn her that some are like that. I grew up with my dad telling me that I was just a sex object, that I was never meant to be loved because guys only care about sex. I can barely handle life now. I'm am depressed all the time and have no self esteem. Don't do this to your daughters. It is very painful and messes them up. Think about what you tell your children before you say it. It can have horrible effects.
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Avatar_f_tn
Well if it matters at all im fifteen and me and my boyfriend have known each other since we were babies and I know, when my bf gets in that mood its hard to turn him off but we r alone together all the time and we don't have sex and don't plan to for a while. Just cause your daughter is 15 doesnt mean she is completely clueless about guys. My mom ran out when I was 6 but my aunt has helped my dad raise me and she was completely real with me. She didn't just say "boys r bad. B a good girl". She explained that if I guy wants it its ok if u want it to bur just be smart. I think if ur completely honest and real with ur daughter she will respect your opinion so much more and feel more like she is in control. But I do agree with jo-if ur gonna give it up to him there better be a ring on ur finger.
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480448_tn?1403547723
I don't know if you noticed, hon, but this thread is almost 5 years old.
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