HELP ME CHANGE PLEASE

[EL_CHOLO]

I need desperate help.  I am currently cheating on my wife.  The thing is that this is nothing new at all.  I've been married twice already.  My first marriage failed because of me, i cheated on my wife so many times and she was so good to me that i had no excuse at all to have done that to her.  We didn't end the relationship because she found out, we ended it because i changed and started neglecting her because i was with other women.  I do have a child from this first marriage though, but even as we were in the process of the divorce i started going out with someone.  Now that i remember i have always cheated on the person i've been with, even just girlfriends.  The person i started going out with would eventually become my current wife and i also cheated on her while i was going out with her.  And now that she is my wife i find myself doing it again.  I have already cheated on her three times.  And she is perfect my goodness she does nothing wrong.  What is wrong with me.  I have looked on the internet for help but i don't really know what is wrong with me and why i am doing this.  I really don't need anyone else but i am acting as if i am not satisfied with whom i have, i am acting like an animal, like a person without care or feelings and i know that is not me but i'm still doing it.  Someone please lead me in the right direction i'm sick and tired of doing this.  Help me change please.  

[teko]

Unfortunately if you do not find a way to change, life will take care of it for you. Is it really worth the ultimate lonely price you will pay in the end? Sometimes it takes us losing what means the most to us in order to induce that change in us. You will ultimately be left with you. No one else will have you. See a counselor.

[imanaddict]

I'm glad you realize you have a problem, which could very well be sex addiction. My advice is to seek a counselor or therapist that specializes in that field and get the help you need ASAP!!

[Judy246]

The only person that can change you is "yourself" and no one else. You first had to acknowledge that you have a problem and want to change. You should have never married, because you are not ready to be in a committed, honest, trustworthy relationship. I would like to ask you, what kind of example of decent role model are you to for your child. How can you look at your child with the knowledge that you are intentionally and willfully hurting his mother? I don't get it! Was it worth it? What is it in your relationships that is lacking that you feel the need to go elsewhere? There is a need not being met here.

You start by re-evaluating your behavior, moral values, conscience, marriage vows, example of what a parent should be. You start with you wanting to change and accepting what you can't change and how can you take responsibility for your behavior and what steps will be necessary to make this change and stick to it.

[lovemykids465]

Sounds like an addiction.Seek medical help. Maybe even rehab if need be.

[jrobertson20]

I think the best thing for you to do is to seek counseling for yourself.  I think by doing that you can talk to somebody that can help you determine maybe why you are doing the things your doing.  I am sorry to hear that you are going through this and I hope for your sake and your partners sake you can figure something out.

[yoha919]

maybe you seek the trill i guess you need help because none cheats just to cheat theres allways a reason now we can all go about telling you what can be wrong but only you  can really know maybe you have a comitment issue scared of beign with the same woman for the rest of your life or maybe you seek other woman to see if you still atractive so that you can feel better about yourself who knows marrige is a sacred bond you have for one another is good that you realise that you have a problem now dont you think that she deserves a much truthful person? and you said before is been going on since you can remember now why go marry a woman if you were just going to break those vows go online and scheduele an appointment with a phycologist and excuse my english writing im italiana so my english is a little off best wishes to you and i hope you get better

[specialmom]

Well, when we want to change . . . that is the first step.  As you feel out of control and can't stop doing this . . . then it is time for a therapist.  Call your insurance company and ask for names or call your family doc and ask for some therapist names.  Set up that appointment and go explore who you really are and why you chronically lie and cheat on women you love.  Sort it out and get tips for you personally to stop.  Handle it like an addiction.  Don't associate with things that lead you to this behavior.  Know the triggers and eliminate them from your life.  Take it one day at a time.  Find someone to be supportive (therapist).  Etc.  But you have the power to do this.  It does sound like it is wrecking your life.  Best of luck to you.