HELP ME!!!

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 7 months and we want to take things to the next level. I want to have sex with him but there's one problem! Well, when i was WAY younger I found out that I could find pleasure in rubbing my clitoris. Well, I continued to do that and just get pleasure from that. I've NEVER had an actual orgasm, only a clitoris one. So, I had sex with the guy before my boyfriend now and had to fake it because I couldn't have an orgasm. I don't know if my body is just used to the clitoris orgasm now or what, but if I try to pleasure myself any other way I don't get pleasure. I really love my boyfriend and want to have sex with him without having to fake. Plus, I want to see what a real orgasm is like. I don't know what to do..

Please help me!!! I want to have normal sex with my beloved boyfriend, and I just don't see that as possible.
Any tips will help!!

[Violetblossom]

Hello.  I am going to assume you are young.  The reason for this is because you sound inexperiened in thinking a clitorial orgasm is not an orgasm.  It is VERY MUCH a REAL orgasm.  I am going to be 40 next month and that is the only kind I have EVER had.  And I've been having sex since I was 16.  If you do some research on the internet, you will see that many many women cannot climax (orgasm) from intercourse alone.  Just google it...I'm sure there are thousands of articles and resources so you can feel better.

The thing is, why do you feel you are inadequet about your orgasms?  Is your boyfriend or friends telling you it should be thru intercourse?  There are some some men out there that do think that the only way a woman can orgasm is thru intercourse and they are sadly mistaken.  Infact, in my years of being sexually active, I have come to realize that a good lover will please you in whatever way possible...  So if someone is telling you that, dismiss that. In my opinion a man who thinks that is not an experienced lover and is infact lazy because he doesn't want to work at getting you off, he just wants to pump...like a silly fool.  

You need to become comfortable in your own skin...and it does not sound like you are.  I feel sad for you.  Another thing to keep in mind is anyone I have ever talked to regarding this subject, that ARE able to orgasm from sex alone, tells me that it is not as intense or an orgasm as clitorial.  So you already have the better one according to some women.  EMBRACE IT.    Good luck...

[Violetblossom]

Hello.  I am going to assume you are young.  The reason for this is because you sound inexperiened in thinking a clitorial orgasm is not an orgasm.  It is VERY MUCH a REAL orgasm.  I am going to be 40 next month and that is the only kind I have EVER had.  And I've been having sex since I was 16.  If you do some research on the internet, you will see that many many women cannot climax (orgasm) from intercourse alone.  Just google it...I'm sure there are thousands of articles and resources so you can feel better.

The thing is, why do you feel you are inadequet about your orgasms?  Is your boyfriend or friends telling you it should be thru intercourse?  There are some some men out there that do think that the only way a woman can orgasm is thru intercourse and they are sadly mistaken.  Infact, in my years of being sexually active, I have come to realize that a good lover will please you in whatever way possible...  So if someone is telling you that, dismiss that. In my opinion a man who thinks that is not an experienced lover and is infact lazy because he doesn't want to work at getting you off, he just wants to pump...like a silly fool.  

You need to become comfortable in your own skin...and it does not sound like you are.  I feel sad for you.  Another thing to keep in mind is anyone I have ever talked to regarding this subject, that ARE able to orgasm from sex alone, tells me that it is not as intense or an orgasm as clitorial.  So you already have the better one according to some women.  EMBRACE IT.    Good luck...

[Violetblossom]

Here you go...

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/ReproductiveHealth/sex-study-female-orgasm-eludes-majority-women/story?id=8485289go....

[Violetblossom]

sorry....

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/ReproductiveHealth/sex-study-female-orgasm-eludes-majority-women/story?id=8485289

[concernedconfused97]

Thank you so much!!
That makes me feel a lot better. But my problem is that I don't want to tell him that I can't have an orgasm by having intercourse, I don't want him to think I'm not normal or something. I haven't told anyone about this and my friends all have orgasms from intercourse. I want to be able to please him while also being pleased myself. It's frustrating. If you don't mind me asking, how did/do you tell your partner that you cant climax from intercourse?

[Violetblossom]

Check your inbox in your private messages.  I sent you a message!

[specialmom]

Hm.  Ya know----------  okay . . . not my thing to get graphic but going out on a limb here.  Masturbation directly to the "spot" will obviously cause an intense climax.  Various positions during intercourse cause the same rubbing reaction.  How much more graphic can I get.  If you are on top, your boyfriend can push on your lower back and you will have rubbing action.  Him on top of you,  same thing.  No---------  you can't have your legs around your neck or anything.  But if he uses his pelvis bone to come in contact with your "spot"-------- you will get the response you desire.

Thing is, and this is an antiporn comment . . . so sorry. But all those crazy positions really don't please a woman in the true sense you are speaking of.  Nope.  You just need to have him position himself and you position yourself so 'contact' can be made.

Now, burn this post . . . I never wrote this!!!!!

[teddybears4ever2]

I would much older before I had my first orgasm I have no idea why it took my so long to have one.  It took us a long time to figure out how to get me to have one, and boy do I have them now.  It was like something we had to learn how to do.  I did have a sweet spot, and I couldn't explain to you where it was if my life depended on it, but he knows where it is now.