Having a baby with someone you barely know ?

[NewToJue]

I'm 21 years old and he's 30.  He wasn't surprised that I was pregnant more so expecting it. We've known each other for 3 months and have been dating for almost 2.  We spent so much time together and lately it's died down . I've been emotional and have cried myself to sleep .I have thoughts of him cheating already . Should I be so sceptical and suspicious? Or should I just be patient? We have an over all great relationship I just have doubts . Maybe I just am craving attention during this pregnancy?

[Londres70]

There is usually always "more to the story" as we are merely commenting on the tidbits of information you provided.  There is NO judging here.  Judging is when you are basing your opinion SOLELY on what you think WITHOUT knowing any facts and that hasn't been done here.  If you had him or the situation all "figured out" then I don't think you would of posted here.

"Having a baby with someone you barely know ?"................You say yourself you BARELY know this guy; we didn't.  

"I have thoughts of him cheating already . Should I be so sceptical and suspicious?"..............We didn't say he was a bad guy, however, you stated you were having doubts about him, i.e. possible cheating because things have fizzed out.  

Things fizzed out probably because the relationship started off hot and heavy too quickly and  you have been spending too much time together.  That is a recipe to guarantee things will fizzle out quickly.

You probably should be addressing these concerns with him pronto and get some clarification about where the relationship is going; clarifications about his thoughts and feelings.  

All the best.  

[nursegirl6572]

The title YOU chose for your thread kind of indicates the issue that everyone here expressed concern about.

You're actually very wise for being worried about the long term aspect of a relationship that is starting out facing so many obstacles.

Good luck, hope it all works out for you.

[specialmom]

It's very difficult when someone writes here but then becomes upset when people show care and concern.  

There are absolutely things that add to the long term success of a relationship.  Becoming serious too quickly is statistically a situation that ends in the relationship fizzling out.  Why?  Because it does take people a bit of time to truly know one another.  to go through good times and bad, to let the Ooo la la stuff wear off that you have in the beginning but doesn't last forever.  These are thing that relationship experts talk about.  

Now, maybe you'll beat the odds.  I sure hope so especially because you are pregnant.  But when something really serious happens before a couple is really close (which usually does take time) it is difficult.  

I was suggesting you just get to know him, talk to him about this, and see if you can stay together.

I've been with my husband for 17 years. and married for 14.  Long term is something that takes a lot of work, and yes, it takes time to really know someone.  good luck

[TTinKKerBBell]

No need to take this personally - we are ALL anonymous here.  We don't know You, We don't know Him - simply, we are older and more experienced than You.

Now that You are having this experience You will probably pass these words on to another Young Girl one day.  Good chance She won't heed Your advice.....and so it goes......

GoodLuck

[NewToJue]

I don't need anyone to feel for me . Regardless of the situation people date for years and don't know each other . It doesnt take me long to figure someone out .if it takes you guys 365 days to get to know someone then I feel for you .

[NewToJue]

**To everyone ** He's not a bad guy and I am nervous but he is very supportive. He has made it clear that he is going to be there . Before everyone gets judgemental it's more to the story than you think.  It's probably just my hormones.

[Nighthawk61]

I agree with the consensus here. You cannot know or fully rely upon anything one says in only 60 days. But i think you must know that on some level. Now you get to find out whether this was lust for him, with no chance of love, or not. I feel for you, especially in your condition. Be calm and accepting of the reality of the situation.  

At this time, you should be considering how you are going, or not going, to make a life for this baby and yourself, independent of any man. Whilst before baby, you could plan on getting out there and meeting the right guy, now you really need to wait on that until you have provided what you should for the baby. It 's going to take everything you've got to be responsible for this child. Surround yourself with winners. and be tough and get your skills up to provide for the child properly.

[specialmom]

Yes, it is really hard to be so super serious in such a short time.  When that happens, a foundation doesn't really get built.  You go from 0 to 10 with not much in between and skipping those steps makes the relationship very vulnerable to falling apart.  

I don't know how you slow thing down when you're pregnant.  That's a rough one. You two are now forever tied to one another.  That may make him feel nervous (and probably you too).  It's a BIG deal for such a new relationship.

I guess your best option is to talk to him about it and see where he is at with the relationship and what he is thinking.  good luck

[Londres70]

Ditto Tink!

[TTinKKerBBell]

You say You've  "known" Him for 90 DAYS ??!!  I contend You DON'T know Him - not in 90 days.  There are complexities to all of us that cannot be known in a matter of 90 days.

I don't know if You should be "suspicious" but Yes, You should be skeptical.  He's 9 years older than You - You JUST became an adult - He's been one for some years now.  Does He have a previous marriage?  Does He have other Children?  Is there a future with Him?  Is He going to marry You?  Is He going to be a Father to this Baby? and if not, can You rely on Family to help You during this time if He does not step up to the plate?

GoodLuck

[ashlii00]

is it his child?
its probably just your horemones but maybe its best u talk to each other?
men arnt mind readers and dont usually click to a suttle hint. best to be honest and upfront and just tell him whats on your mind. he probs wont have a clue that u feel this way. you cant let things bring you down when your pregnant hun. speak up :-D best way.xx