He Is So Good, Is It Schizophrenia

[galesue]

A few hours ago I very suddenly ended a relationship with a man who has schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder, a few others.  He was very much in love with me, wanted to marry me.  He didn't cheat, wasn't really all that interested in sex (unless it was me giving it to him).  He is a good man.  A loving man, and every time he did something that would be detrimental to our relationship, he did his best not to do it again.  Just remember that he was a good and faithful man, didn't believe in hurting someone (in this case me,) by going outside of the relationship.

Here's why I (he) ended us:  Late last night when he was very tired, and we were being intimate, he started talking about how things would be ideal if he could have me here, a 2nd woman in an apartment, and a 3rd in another apartment.  He would split his time between us.  Not knowing if he was overtired and this was just a fantasy coming out, I asked some questions.  He said he didn't think it would work because while he saw the three of us, we would each have to see him exclusively and we probably wouldn't want to do that.  He said that times were changing and that this would be the best thing for him.  Remember he was very tired and I didn't act upset until I realized for sure that it wasn't just a fantasy, he was testing the waters, seeing how I would react to the whole thing.  When I told him that I couldn't see him anymore, he said it was all a joke, a fantasy.  So I asked him if I was willing to go along with it, would he actually carry it out, he said yes.  He would split his time between us.  I told him it was over.  He called someone, and was out of here in half of an hour.  I've been with this man through so very very much.  I am sad and hurt of course.

A therapist said that bi-polar schizophrenics can't handle the pressure of one intimate relationship.  They tended to have to ease things up by spreading it out.  

Please tell me if you have ever heard of anything like this.  Do not disparage him please, he is not a womanizer, or cheater.  This just came from me right out of the blue.

Thank you so very much.

Peace to you all,

Gale Sue

[iam1butterfly]

Sadly... it would appear that the man that you fell in love with; was never the man that you fell in love with! I am so sorry for the pain that you're going through.

[galesue]

yes, every man wants every woman he can get his hands on.  He wants threesomes.  I have accepted more honesty in my nie...

He just called me from his ex-wifes.  He is completely under her thumb.  He told her about some of my problems (which some would see as weaknesses).  He went there when I made him leave, he called at 12:30 a.m. to ask for the rest of his clothes.  He betrayed me by telling her those things, not to mention going there in the first place.  But I didn't recognize him.  She was yelling at him in the background and he was saying whatever she wanted him to say.  When I asked him where the man was that I knew, she yelled at him to hang up...and he did!!!  I can't believe it, this man wanted to marry me.  Told me that my family is the only one who has ever treated him with love and kindness.  I am so ashamed of the days when he would tell me that he went over there for this reason  or that.  He must have been treating her like she was the one in his life and I was the outsider.  I have been so good to him.  And he has been to me.  There is a history of verbal abuse, on her side, but he takes it.  Where is the man I knew...I am so lost, why can't I just think of him as a piece of s**t and go on.  Because my children, grandchildren, sister, even dog love him.  He has been so good.  I don't know this man I heard on the phone.  I'm sorry to ramble.  There are so many worse things in my life than this, I was hoping he would be a distraction from all the pain and illness in my and my children's lives, instead he has...there's more. I just returned a call he made from his ex-s.  No altercation. A few minutes later a policeman called telling me that they BOTH requested I not call again.  How could this man who has been loving me and I have been there for in all his troubles do this to me in one day?  I feel like I am losing it.  Where is the man I knew and who loved me?

[treazzure007]

isn't it convenient to blame it all on a disorder...
i guess it served it's purpose b/c you are trying to 'understand' him and where he's coming from.  you should have asked him would he understand you splitting your time between him and a couple of guys you can't live without.  this is funny!

schizophrenia = player

[RockRose]

Gale,  every man wants that.  

I'm kind of surprised you're willing to put up with the difficulties of his schizophrenia,  and bi-polar disorder,  but not his basic honesty.

If women would be happy to have their men get other wives/mistresses,  and would welcome that lifestyle, virtually all men would do it.  

[mami1323]

There is actually a Schizophrenia forum and perhaps you can get better answers there about the disorder and how it affects relationships.  I don't know how much traffic it gets but maybe someone there has more knowledge on that subject.  I wish you all the best, I'm sorry you are sad.

[galesue]

Yes, these women are not in his head.  I've gone so, so much with him.  He was very tired and letting the truth of what he wanted slip out.  He is a typical male and wants to watch 2 women together, but only wanted to be with me.  He regrets that he was tired enough for this to come out, but it did.  And somewhere down the road, the desire would become a reality.  He is very undersexed.  That is not it.  I was told that it was because schizophrenics can't handle the intensity of a single adult relationship.  They tend to be better parents.  

Anyway, this topic directly relates to his schizophrenia (diagnosed) do you know how I would put it back in that category?

Thanks...I'm so sad, he really loved me in all my ups and downs.  The only one in all my years.

Peace,
Gale Sue

[mami1323]

He's not a womanizer yet he wants to have 3 separate women in different apartments to spread his time out with.  Hmmmm, sounds close to a womanizer to me.  Maybe I'm being too critical since I don't really know how schizophrenic's handle their relationships.  Most don't have healthy relationships unless they are on medication and even then I don't know how well the relationship would be.  Are you sure these 3 women are not in his head?  An illusion brought on by his disorder?  I think it was good to end only because he has so many other issues that it would never be a normal relationship.  I'm sorry I wish I was more helpful, I just don't know what to make of this situation.