I realy like this guy. We've been friends for a while and at one point were going to be in a relationship, but that didn't work out (we were both still haveing breakup hangovers) I was fine with us just being friends untill here recently.
Our friendship went from just being casual to being very good friends.
The only problem is this new level of friendship leaves me wanting more. I want a relationship not just a friendship.
I know he desires me sexualy, but other than that I don't think he wants any emotional commitment to me.
He tells me that it takes him a long time for him to become serious about a relationship, and that he doesn't even call it a relationship untill they ( he and the girl) have been dating for at least 6 months.
I don't know if it is my mind playing tricks on me or if it is actualy happening, but it almost seems to me that he is treating our friendship as a "talking to" prelim to a relationship.
I'm going crazy here. His hugs make my heart turn over and my knees weak. We talk at least once a day and its not just me calling him, he texts me every morning and every night and calls at least every other day.
I don't want to creat any unease between us by flat out asking him if he thinks we would ever be together, but I get the feeling that I'm going to have to do just that.
You have to be able to decipher what you can put up with. It sounds like your a "need answers kind of girl." I think you should let him know that you love him but you want a real relationship with him & not just when it's convienent for him. I mean if he's scared of commitment, then give him is space. Tell him that you wont wait around for him & you will begin to date others. Sometimes you need to make a man realize that they really do have feelings for you, (if in fact he does.) If a man knows that he has you wrapped around his finger or "right where he wants you" he will be comfortable with that. Don't fall victim to that if you can stand it. I do think he has some strong feelings for you but don't wait around if he is not willing to call it what it is.
Oh boy. I had one of those type of guys once. It turns out all he was after was a good time and he let it play out that there was a possibility of more (although he never mentioned it directly, it was implied) because he wanted to string me along. I really, really wanted to believe there was more. What finally made me have a wake up call was when he kept calling us friends or that it was not really a relationship and he had all sorts of terms for everything, including "intimate" and "acquaintance" and the list went on. In the end, I was heartbroken and he walked away saying, "I'm sorry but I told you it wasn't super serious, I thought you knew too." Just beware, while your guy may be completely different, he might be like mine was. It took me a very long time to get over him and the hurt. I thought we were friends too and when he walked away, he took the friendship with him too. I would definitely want to get some clarity with this guy before you invest a ton of time...
This is a sticky situation because there is that friendship there that could possibly be ruined if it turns out that his feelings for you are just merely platonic. The best thing for you to do is be open and honest with him about your feelings. He may reject them but at least you got your answer and you don't sit there wondering does he or doesn't he. I think we've all been in these type of situations, I've actually been on the other end of what your going through. I had this really great guy friend who fell in love with me and I loved hanging out with him. He was so funny and we always had a great time together. He wanted so badly for it to turn into something, but it just wasn't there for me. I loved him as a friend and relied on him but when it came down to it, I just wanted the friendship. I'm not saying this is what your situation is like, but just be careful. I never led on my friend, I was always upfront and honest with him but it didn't matter to him because his feelings were too strong. I wound up meeting my fiance and basically broke my friend's heart. Our friendship was never the same after that and now we never speak. He moved on as well but my point is that someone always manages to get hurt if one person has feelings and the other doesn't. Although, on the other side of things this may wind up turning into a true love story. The friendship you two share might make a perfect relationship. That's what relationships are, friendships with a little added something. You will never know though until you confront him. If he still plays the run around with you than I recommend spending some time away from him. He may not mean to hurt you but if he doesn't feel the same than being around him may be too difficult for you. Get the space you need to move on. I wish you the best of luck and hope it does work out for the best.
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