Help???

[grundles]

I know I probly shouldn't be posting in this catergory but I don't care at the moment I'm extremely stressed out and I need some help. Here's my story. When I was 16 I met the man that I am with to this day (I'm now 18) the past 2 years I. Have been living with him, I dropped out of school and I lost all contact with my friends and the outside world, but that was, (and still is) ok with me. I'm originally from connecticut, but me, my dad, and my grandma moved to phx arizona when I was 13. Anyway, about 8 months ago, my dad asked me and my boyfriend nino is we would move back to connecticut because he wanted my grandma (who is very very old) to be closer with our family. I was kind of afraid that nino would tell me he doesn't want to go, and at the time me only being 17, I had to do what my dad said. Luckily nino agreed to go because he couldn't imagine being away from me. So here's where my situation gets hard. I turned 18 a few months ago, and nino wants to go back to arizona. Not saying I don't either I love it there, its just that I have the guilt on my concious that "what if something happens to my grandma and I'm not there to say goodbye" and it doesn't help that everytime I mention it to my dad he throws it in my face that if anything happens and I'm not there, than I'm pretty much the scum of the earth. I'm seriously so upset over this I don't know what to think. And I forgot to add that I have chronic anxiety and am currently on no medication, which makes it a lot harder on me. Nino tells me that I should ignore what they say and do what I need to do. The other day my grandma told me she doesn't want me to go, and I can't have those words on my concious if anything did happen. I'm sorry for such a long post but I honestly don't have anybody to talk to and I can't keep torturing my self anymore over this. Has anyone else been in this situation? Has any of you ever left your hometown in fear that your loved one might pass away before you get a chance to say goodbye? If I do go, (which I promised nino I would because he left his family to be with me) how do I tell my dad and grandma? Please tell me I'm not wrong for this... wouldn't it be worse though if I stayed until she dies and THEN I moved away? Please help.... oh and I forgot to add, we don't want to go back to arizona just for **** n giggles, ninos dad had a heart attack and out of work for a few months and really needs our help... suggestion? Sorry again for such a long post I just need to feel like I'm not alone and I'm not wrong for wanting to go back. Thank you all for taking the time to read this, I appreciate it..

[ANM83]

Well I think that you should tell him exactly what you wrote to us you should tell him that if something happens to your grandma you want to be there for her and you want to be there until she passes or something like that~Audriana13

[BiteMe47]

Sorry if this is two late I would suggest you stay and he goes so you ca both be with family that needs support then when the time is right move back in with him I understand that this situation must be very hard on you hope your are or did cope okay