How did it affect your marriage

[diAli]

So I'm 9+4 weeks pregnant and the baby was planned and we are thrilled but I was just wondering how it affected your marriage. Obviously I know lots of things change but I'm just worried that I won't have time for my husband and he might feel left out since he will be working. I don't want him to feel like he's not wanted or needed. If you could just let me know how it was in your case. Any advice/suggestions that worked with you.
Thanks xx :)

[specialmom]

Yes, my marriage changed greatly.  In some ways, good and in some bad.  My husband and I have an irreplaceable bond in our never ending love and dedication to our children.  We both adore them and have their best interests in our hearts at all times and this something we share unique that no other person but each other can feel the same way about.  I don't know how to adequately express how this bond matters but it certainly does.  He is my partner in the greatest thing I've ever done.  It's wonderful to have him by my side as we go through the ups and downs of raising kids.  However, there are the less than glamorous sides of things.  A very common pattern is that moms get hyperfocused on the kids.  During their early years, it's all about them and we are in our glory mothering.  Then once they go off to school, we find out that we've completely lost touch with our partners.  This is why when kids are 7 or so, you see a lot of divorces occurring.  It's hard to 'get it back' when the relationship has been ignored, even when it is for what we believe is a good cause---  our kids.  

You have less energy for each other, less patience for each other, and it's easy to get off the same page in parenting when two people have different ideas.  One person can go off to party and go on with life like kids don't exist and the other is the responsible parent.  That's another common scenario.

So, my suggestion is to stay aware.  You need some couple time.  A date or two a month in which you don't talk kids, etc.  Make sure as a wife that you aren't so into parenting, your babies, decorating the nursery, the right stroller, etc. that your partner is looking for conversation elsewhere more on topics he also enjoys.  :>)   say that with a laugh, because I can dish on those subjects for hours!  but I've learned that it's not exactly exciting for the husband, so I call a girlfriend.  

Relationships do require effort.  But it is so worth it to have an intact home.  Good luck with everything!

[RockRose]

It completely changes your marriage.  If you are mature,  and dedicated to each other,  it deepens your relationship more than you can imagine.  You will grow,  in places you never thought you could before.  You will respect his ancestors,  and yours, more than you thought.

[joceeykittykitty]

I have two and another on the way. Def got tough at one point But we went through the hard times the first baby since we were young and new to everything. We learned alot and have gotten waay closer after everything one thing I will advise you is to make a day ever so often where its only you and him. I realized I am on mommy mode everyday all day which means I make my hubby feel left out without realizing it until he once told me he really wanted some ME time. Couldnt help but feel beautiful and heartbroken at the same time. Its also healthy to have time just for yourself as well. :)

[jasmine1670]

For me and my husband Nothing has changed he's absolutely wonderful with our son and we still spend the same amount of time with each other. those late sleepless nights can take a toll on you so you just have to remember to breath through it. My baby is 3 weeks old and so far we are doing great. Best of luck to you