It sounds like you've got a lot of self esteem issues exacerbated by the hormones you have from being pregnant. Just remember, he chose to marry you. That should mean more than anything.
I think you might do well to get some counseling to help you with your self esteem issues. It's not fair to a baby or child for you to be jealous of her. She didn't ask to be brought into this world, and she's a part of your husband. That should make you love her more instead of making you jealous.
Just know that a child is from God. It is a Blessing!
Go on with the future and do not look back. Your baby will now have a Sister. You never know what is in store for Everyone involved. Be happy and do not dwell on the fact he has another child. This child of his will be a part of your life too. You had no control over the time frame when he meet his first. That is old news. Now go on and be happy for everyone involved. The Grandma will Love this child as much as the other. How can you not love little ones. They are so innocent and full of surprises. Try to put in a more Positive Attitude. This will rub off on the baby and your Hub. He married you because he loves you. Do Not look back..Move on. Have a great Future with a new family.
Bless
Vickie
Yes I totally agree with u that I wanted this and I put myself in this situation. I honestly never thought it would be this hard and if I could go back I don't think I would've been with him not because of him but because of the fact that I can't deal with his past life and his other child. (Childish I know). Oh and suicide love I've had if for years lol it used to be from a band I loved back when I was 16. Oh how does time fly.
The biggest concern is the name you've chosen to give yourself, suicidelove. That's heavy.
What's done is done. It seems like you're throwing away happiness with both hands. You purposely got pregnant with a man who already has another child, and now you're really really upset that you've done that. You've kind of painted yourself into a corner here.
Best advise is to believe him when he says he wants you, and ignore that you've purposely put yourself in this position.