How do I talk to him about this?

Question

I am 45 and divorced and I have been living with my boyfriend for 3 years now. He told me a year over a year ago that he wasn't ready for marriage again. Probably because of what his ex-wife put him through. But I am thinkikng about MY future. Like, he has type 1 diabetes and God forbid, what if something happens to him? I know this may sound selfish, but I have to wonder what would happen to me? He has a son and daughter that I know would just want to sell the house that I call my home and kick me out asap so they can get the money.
 I don't know how to talk to him about this concern. 
Any ideas? 

Confused

TTinKKerBBell · Answer

I agree with You that He too should be thinking about these things.  These are very valid concerns.

So is Marriage.

Marriage is a "declaration" for long term "commitment".  I would not live with SomeOne unwilling to make that commitment to me

I would say "If You're not ready to marry again because of what Your ex-wife put You through, well then, You shouldn't marry HER again - but You and I are different than You and Her - and I would like the commitment, the security of Marriage". 

 Personally, I Would Not Settle For Less.

GoodLuck

ROSYouralright · Answer

It's a discussion that needs to be had for sure.. In Gods perfect plan for us these situations wouldn't occur. I admire you for wanting the sanctity of marriage but you may have to prepare for the fact that maybe your bf won't. I will keep you in my prayers!!! Best of luck & please let us know how it goes.

Life360_Dave · Answer

You cant be passive about this and you are right about him caring. Yourve got to be completly honest with him and tell him how your feel again. Tell him just what you told us.

klarnold123 · Answer

I'm so glad you two understand. I love him so much and he says he loves me. But I feel that if he truely did then he would be thinking about these things. He should want to make sure that I am taken care of if something were to happen to him. If I would die he would only loose me. Not everything.

Life360_Dave · Answer

Hi, i agree thats a touchy topic. There is such a thing as common law relationships that does give the mate the same rights as a married mate but you might want to find out about this in your particular place.
Also this question needs to be addressed. You have values that include marrige and he needs to understand this. 
Society is drifting away from some very important issues and tell him its important for you.

ROSYouralright · Answer

You raise some valid points. You have been together 3+ years so I say , make a nice dinner  and talk it out in a nice relaxing atmosphere. Its okay to discuss your future and your concerns. It's possible that these thoughts haven't even occurred to him. None of us are promised tomorrow so have the conversations that matter.