How do you get over someone you never had?

Question

This sounds like a Taylor Swift song, but seriously, has anyone here ever had a similar situation?  There was this guy who I felt certain liked me because of the way he acted around me.   In fact, I feel he even loves me.  Before now, I thought maybe he did like me like that but when the opportunity came around, he started dating someone new.  He loved to talk to me, pick on me, touch me (in a playful way) and look into my eyes for long pauses and yes , even flirt with me, but I guess it meant nothing to him... . He's even jealous if I spend tiem with another guy.    We never had the "discussion" but I am pretty sure he knows that I like him like that but just wants to be friends.   How do I get over this?  I feel heartbroken.   Can men be close to another woman and just love her like a sister?   I feel so stupid for falling for him.

Random_wise_guy · Answer

Just talk to him about it if u have a problem you should face it directly that way you get the best answer your looking for and you will be able to move on with your life

Icebreaker33 · Answer

There are guys who have had the same heart break. I'm still in love with my best friend. She ended her relationship with her boyfriend but told me she couldn't be with me either. After I had told her how I felt about her after so many years I was devastated. I took some time off and we tried being friends again but after her immediate rebound took off she started dating a mutual friend. I had no respect for this guy for many reasons. When she told me, it was all I could take. I cut her out of my life entirely. I've seen her on a few occasions with friends of ours but I can't be friends of anything with her while she is still with him. 4 years later and after dating other girls I still have not felt that connection with anyone. My confidence was shattered for a long time and I'm still working on it. I want to call her. But I can't. Not all men are shallow don't settle for any who are, they'll never love you the same. Any words of advice would be helpful.

ashleyrenay0720 · Answer

Im actully in the same boat...  i met this guy 3 years ago, we were pretty much together for a year until around christmas of 09 i found out he had a gf all along. We did everything a couple would do. As time went by i stopped talkin to him but would get the urge to wanna text him and tell him i miss him. We would contact each other every now and then to see how we were doin but that was about it. I thought my first son was his but it was false. Didnt talk for awhile after he did the dna.... Shorty after he contacted me and we hung out. Well now im 10 weeks pregna t by him but his "ex" is still in the picture. He claims their not together and that he wants to be a family but never seems to flow through with what he says. I fell in love with this guy 2 years ago, although i know the best thing is to let go, i just cant seem to do so. Any ideas on how to make my feelings go away even though im havin his baby?

carolinegirl123 · Answer

I need help. I have liked a guy for almost a year and I honestly believed that he liked me too but he is always in a relationship and when he is finally single in a week he finds someone else because he is really really really hot and of course a total jerk. I need to get over him because I dont want to be miserable anymore but I dont know how and the worst part is that I have boyfriend and the only reason I am with him is because he looks a lot like the guy I really like. I honestly need help to get over him because I really want to be happy with my boyfriend but every time I see him its like I cant control myself.
Please help me! Im desesperate!

jugs93 · Answer

This is exactly what went on withme and my 'best friend' of 5 years. He always told me he wanted to be with me but i never took it serious i was only out of a relationship with a man who cheated on me and got another girl pregnant so i wasnt in the right place i didnt believe he or anyone could love me vefore christmas i felt something for him i started to fall for him was it to late? Well i didnt think it was he met this girl in oct of last year they start led going out but around christmas we kinda kissed alot i thought it was a done deal with us he'd break up with his girlfriend and we'd live happily ever after! That didnt happen we fought alot i wanted him so bad he was the only person i was ever myself around i felt so comfortable he said i was beautiful in anything!! So the moral of the story is we dont speak atall its been 8 months and i miss him so muh does he miss me? Or am i being silly i seen him a couple of weeks ago he told me everything i wanted to hear he messed with my head more what do i do people?

spongefjttrl · Answer

Yeh I know this may actually be reall late but I feel like **** rite now because the guy I care about told me we weren't together and never really replied to my texts or calls.. But he would hug me and talk to me like we were more than friends at times.. I'm just so confused and hurt tears keep coming in my eyes and I miss him because he has completely stop texting me,, he is too occupied with his life.. Either he has forgotten about me or he was interested and I went along like a fool and believe in dumb things to myself.. I don't how to get over him?? as It is not like I see him regualarly or talk to him by texts or calls??.. I really need advice asap! It is breaking me!!

xImysteriousIx · Answer

I had a similar situation just 2 months ago and although i now know my close friend is going to be a father, which has killed the idea of me ever being in a relationship with him, i did in the end jst was honest with him and told him how i felt and that i needed a break to get over him..
I think you should just be completely honest with the guy, know matter how scary that may be because if your worried you'll lose him as a friend and think saying nothing will do the trick, then it will eat you up inside, it's best to be honest and let him know you need distance to move on, then he wont think your being off with him at all, but being honest with yourself.

sweetpea03 · Answer

why do you have to be around him? work together? 

I'd just be friendly toward him, but don't hold conversations. You can say hi, but then move along. Don't have to ignore him, just don't hang out with him. Keep your distance. 

People like to flirt in general. It's fun to do, though it's not nice to mess with people's feelings. I doubt he knew you were that into him. Or maybe he did and he's just a jerk.

mandyisme · Answer

Thanks for the advice!  But can you give me some advice on still having to deal with him on a regular basis.  Not seeing him is not an option, so how do I go from being buds to nothing?  Should I just give him the cold shoulder everyday or what?   And Why do men flirt when they really don't mean anything by it?

Judy246 · Answer

It's happened to me and you become wiser and stronger from this painful experience. You made the first step by acknowledging that this guy does not want a relationship or just wants to flirt around with all, so accept what you can't change and avoid the guy. Do not be tempted to call or be around him or ask information about him. Surround yourself with good friends and family and start taking care of you. You will be ok, one day at a time, but stay away from the guy to avoid a cycle of disfunction and a dead end potential relationship going nowhere.

sweetpea03 · Answer

I think it's best that you take a break from him, and then maybe down the road can continue your friendship. I was in a similar situation before, with a male best friend of mine. And it was hard to see him go back to his long distance on and off gf when I was right there, but you'll find someone else who will make you happy. Just stay away from him and limit contact so you can move on. It's not healthy to stay close when you still have feelings for him, that would make it very hard to get over him. good luck.

mandyisme · Answer

Also, can I keep being his best buddy like this and have a healthy relationship myself and move on?  I am worried that as long as we continue to be buddies I will always have some shred of hope that it will evolve into something more.