How do you get over someone you never had?

[mandyisme]

This sounds like a Taylor Swift song, but seriously, has anyone here ever had a similar situation?  There was this guy who I felt certain liked me because of the way he acted around me.   In fact, I feel he even loves me.  Before now, I thought maybe he did like me like that but when the opportunity came around, he started dating someone new.  He loved to talk to me, pick on me, touch me (in a playful way) and look into my eyes for long pauses and yes , even flirt with me, but I guess it meant nothing to him... . He's even jealous if I spend tiem with another guy.    We never had the "discussion" but I am pretty sure he knows that I like him like that but just wants to be friends.   How do I get over this?  I feel heartbroken.   Can men be close to another woman and just love her like a sister?   I feel so stupid for falling for him.

[xImysteriousIx]

I had a similar situation just 2 months ago and although i now know my close friend is going to be a father, which has killed the idea of me ever being in a relationship with him, i did in the end jst was honest with him and told him how i felt and that i needed a break to get over him..
I think you should just be completely honest with the guy, know matter how scary that may be because if your worried you'll lose him as a friend and think saying nothing will do the trick, then it will eat you up inside, it's best to be honest and let him know you need distance to move on, then he wont think your being off with him at all, but being honest with yourself.

[sweetpea03]

why do you have to be around him? work together?

I'd just be friendly toward him, but don't hold conversations. You can say hi, but then move along. Don't have to ignore him, just don't hang out with him. Keep your distance.

People like to flirt in general. It's fun to do, though it's not nice to mess with people's feelings. I doubt he knew you were that into him. Or maybe he did and he's just a jerk.

[mandyisme]

Thanks for the advice!  But can you give me some advice on still having to deal with him on a regular basis.  Not seeing him is not an option, so how do I go from being buds to nothing?  Should I just give him the cold shoulder everyday or what?   And Why do men flirt when they really don't mean anything by it?  

[Judy246]

It's happened to me and you become wiser and stronger from this painful experience. You made the first step by acknowledging that this guy does not want a relationship or just wants to flirt around with all, so accept what you can't change and avoid the guy. Do not be tempted to call or be around him or ask information about him. Surround yourself with good friends and family and start taking care of you. You will be ok, one day at a time, but stay away from the guy to avoid a cycle of disfunction and a dead end potential relationship going nowhere.

[sweetpea03]

I think it's best that you take a break from him, and then maybe down the road can continue your friendship. I was in a similar situation before, with a male best friend of mine. And it was hard to see him go back to his long distance on and off gf when I was right there, but you'll find someone else who will make you happy. Just stay away from him and limit contact so you can move on. It's not healthy to stay close when you still have feelings for him, that would make it very hard to get over him. good luck.

[mandyisme]

Also, can I keep being his best buddy like this and have a healthy relationship myself and move on?  I am worried that as long as we continue to be buddies I will always have some shred of hope that it will evolve into something more.