Aa
How many men consider Asian massage parlors cheating?
Tons of men go to these places including mine ex, and therefore i wonder if men consider getting naked in front of a woman and let her touch you sensually and then get a happy ending cheating. I assume not since those men feel no guilt whatever. How do you girls see this?
Masturbate is only if you do it yourself. No one can masturbate the man.
It isn't both faults. The person- be it man or woman- who cheats is the one responsible. PERIOD.
Too often it's excused as a "compulsion", a "need", but it's planned and executed. This means that there is time to turn in towards your partner. Get outside help, but do the work & the cheater needs to stop blaming the person honoring the contract & take responsibility.
It isn't both faults. The person- be it man or woman- who cheats is the one responsible. PERIOD.
Too often it's excused as a "compulsion", a "need", but it's planned and executed. This means that there is time to turn in towards your partner. Get outside help, but do the work & the cheater needs to stop blaming the person honoring the contract & take responsibility.
Cop out. Besides the fact that is blaming the victim- I will say our society is crazy confused between Puritan and Harlequin. Your either Mary mother of Jesus or Mary Magdalene to get stoned. Meanwhile- literally where is the accountability of men in these stories? Besides the accountability of punative violence- where is the accountability for their actions before that?? Nowhere.
Women are tempted too. Every day men feel free to make passes at us- comment on our looks, be it good or bad. I have to dress sexy to compete- but I'm a Mom and a wife and completely uncomfortable by the advances I get. Men at work always want to talk for long periods of time and rarely about work- I've had to leave my office to get them to leave.
It's all about power and control at the end of the day. Infidelity is abuse. Lying is abuse. Cheating is abuse. You went into a contract together and together you muck your way thru it.
Women are tempted too. Every day men feel free to make passes at us- comment on our looks, be it good or bad. I have to dress sexy to compete- but I'm a Mom and a wife and completely uncomfortable by the advances I get. Men at work always want to talk for long periods of time and rarely about work- I've had to leave my office to get them to leave.
It's all about power and control at the end of the day. Infidelity is abuse. Lying is abuse. Cheating is abuse. You went into a contract together and together you muck your way thru it.
Completely agree.
I go so far as to say- if you wouldn't let my father do it to you- you shouldn't be doing it.
I go so far as to say- if you wouldn't let my father do it to you- you shouldn't be doing it.
I think it's cheating but would like to know more of what happens there. Do they have sex, blow jobs or hand jobs only?
2 Comments
Thry have sex
Thanks for commenting on the forum. What is your opinion of this? :>)
of course it is cheating. i wonder how your ex would feel about you getting naked in front of a man and getting a 'happy ending'. i am positive that would be viewed as cheating
Nasotrang, of course this is cheating and I would recommend your husband figure out why he did this because it is definitely a red flag in a marriage or a relationship when someone feels the need to go outside the marriage or relationship for sex. Why is he compelled to go to a sex worker for a massages and "happy endings" or bjs instead of coming home to his wife and de-stressing?
"He went back home and acted like nothing happened until I pushed him into telling me what happened and he said it didn't count as cheating because he didn't ask for it and he wasn't really doing anything, it was the girl who was doing that to him.".........This is very concerning. He wasn't going to even tell you because he doesn't consider it "cheating" and plus it was the sex worker's fault because he didn't ask for it? Oh my........dear, I hate to say this, but it sounds like your husband doesn't have any issues with what he has done and he really doesn't sound remorseful. I can almost guarantee he will continue this behind your back. Some people actually do believe oral sex and/or hand jobs aren't sex so it isn't cheating which is a crock to me.
Unless you are in a open marriage/open relationship and you both are ok with having other sex partners then this is CHEATING.
I would recommend you not turn a blind eye to this and think this will go away if you forgive him and stay in the marriage. If he is getting bjs now then what will he get next? I am sure he will just blame the sex worker for what happened. It doesn't matter if you are giving him sex with whistles and bells everyday; your husband has an issue with being faithful and honest.
As long as he sees NO problem with this he will continue and the problem will remain. What's worse is that he put 100% blame on the sex worker and none on himself which goes to show you he is trying to justify what he is doing or what he has done.
"He went back home and acted like nothing happened until I pushed him into telling me what happened and he said it didn't count as cheating because he didn't ask for it and he wasn't really doing anything, it was the girl who was doing that to him.".........This is very concerning. He wasn't going to even tell you because he doesn't consider it "cheating" and plus it was the sex worker's fault because he didn't ask for it? Oh my........dear, I hate to say this, but it sounds like your husband doesn't have any issues with what he has done and he really doesn't sound remorseful. I can almost guarantee he will continue this behind your back. Some people actually do believe oral sex and/or hand jobs aren't sex so it isn't cheating which is a crock to me.
Unless you are in a open marriage/open relationship and you both are ok with having other sex partners then this is CHEATING.
I would recommend you not turn a blind eye to this and think this will go away if you forgive him and stay in the marriage. If he is getting bjs now then what will he get next? I am sure he will just blame the sex worker for what happened. It doesn't matter if you are giving him sex with whistles and bells everyday; your husband has an issue with being faithful and honest.
As long as he sees NO problem with this he will continue and the problem will remain. What's worse is that he put 100% blame on the sex worker and none on himself which goes to show you he is trying to justify what he is doing or what he has done.
The problem is my husband got a ******** at the massage place. We were fine, sex life is definitely good. We have sex basically every freaking day and I always do whatever the heck he wants me to do. But crap happens just suddenly and easily like that.
Yes, Your Husband cheated.
A man doesn't cheat BECAUSE of what is - or is not - going on at home.
Whether or not a man cheats has to do with His Character, Integrity, Values, etc.
Not getting a "hand job" at home does NOT promote one to cheat. A Man with Morals and Integrity will not cheat EVEN IF He's never had a hand job in His life - for He knows He can provide that for HimSelf - and would gladly do so - after all, a hand job is about 'self ' EVEN IF someone else is performing it.
A man doesn't cheat BECAUSE of what is - or is not - going on at home.
Whether or not a man cheats has to do with His Character, Integrity, Values, etc.
Not getting a "hand job" at home does NOT promote one to cheat. A Man with Morals and Integrity will not cheat EVEN IF He's never had a hand job in His life - for He knows He can provide that for HimSelf - and would gladly do so - after all, a hand job is about 'self ' EVEN IF someone else is performing it.
Just had a big fight with my husband over this. We're currently living in Vietnam where these kinds of places are literally everywhere.
My husband is usually stressed and usually asks me for a massage and I normally give him one, but I do admit sometimes I'm kind of lazy.
He has gone to these places many times and always had a happy ending before he met me. I didn't care much cause apparently I didn't know him.
He went there twice after we started dating. The first time was fine, he actually said no to the massage girl but the second time he got a *******!
He went back home and acted like nothing happened until I pushed him into telling me what happened and he said it didn't count as cheating because he didn't ask for it and he wasn't really doing anything, it was the girl who was doing that to him.
I seriously don't understand this thing. Did it really count as cheating or not?
My husband is usually stressed and usually asks me for a massage and I normally give him one, but I do admit sometimes I'm kind of lazy.
He has gone to these places many times and always had a happy ending before he met me. I didn't care much cause apparently I didn't know him.
He went there twice after we started dating. The first time was fine, he actually said no to the massage girl but the second time he got a *******!
He went back home and acted like nothing happened until I pushed him into telling me what happened and he said it didn't count as cheating because he didn't ask for it and he wasn't really doing anything, it was the girl who was doing that to him.
I seriously don't understand this thing. Did it really count as cheating or not?
It's not 'fantasy' if You act on it - at that point it is 'reality'. One would have to keep taking 'fantasy' to another 'level' to call it "fantasy"
Ditto SpecialMom
Ditto Londres
P.S.
Like Londres, I also am a lucky girl in that my Husband thinks with the same organ Her Husband thinks with.
Ditto SpecialMom
Ditto Londres
P.S.
Like Londres, I also am a lucky girl in that my Husband thinks with the same organ Her Husband thinks with.
OP's original question was "How many men consider Asian massage parlors cheating?" not why do people cheat.
Agree with SM 100%......well said.
There are VARIOUS reasons why people do cheat. Why do people lie? Why do people steal? Again, for various reasons.
I am a lucky meaning what SM has stated and I have an intelligent man who talks/communicates to me........he solves problems using HIS brain. He doesn't go to the nearest sex worker INSTEAD of dealing with any problems we may have at home. I can't see how any "hand job" is any type of solution to any problem other that it's fulfilling the fact that you don't mind cheating. Besides, my husband didn't marry me for the "hand jobs" OR because of my sexual skills OR my ability to bring ALL his fantasies to life.
It all boils down to open and honest communication between two people. If a man has to sneak off to a sex worker whilst he is in a relationship or marriage then there is definitely a lack of communication going on between those two people and it's not always per se about the gf or the wife who is refusing to be more sexually open in the bedroom, however, that could be the case as well and if it is then you should be DIALOGUING with your gf or wife. Perhaps the gf or wife is too tired and drained after taking care of children, the household and/or working a job outside the home to be giving "happy endings" out like candy at the end of the day.
Everyone has fantasies.......some possibly are transferable into one's real life and some not and one should use his/her brain to determine what is appropriate and what isn't appropriate to do.
Agree with SM 100%......well said.
There are VARIOUS reasons why people do cheat. Why do people lie? Why do people steal? Again, for various reasons.
I am a lucky meaning what SM has stated and I have an intelligent man who talks/communicates to me........he solves problems using HIS brain. He doesn't go to the nearest sex worker INSTEAD of dealing with any problems we may have at home. I can't see how any "hand job" is any type of solution to any problem other that it's fulfilling the fact that you don't mind cheating. Besides, my husband didn't marry me for the "hand jobs" OR because of my sexual skills OR my ability to bring ALL his fantasies to life.
It all boils down to open and honest communication between two people. If a man has to sneak off to a sex worker whilst he is in a relationship or marriage then there is definitely a lack of communication going on between those two people and it's not always per se about the gf or the wife who is refusing to be more sexually open in the bedroom, however, that could be the case as well and if it is then you should be DIALOGUING with your gf or wife. Perhaps the gf or wife is too tired and drained after taking care of children, the household and/or working a job outside the home to be giving "happy endings" out like candy at the end of the day.
Everyone has fantasies.......some possibly are transferable into one's real life and some not and one should use his/her brain to determine what is appropriate and what isn't appropriate to do.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Tanesha, not sure anyone can say what 'most' men do at home. Best not to generalize.
However, I do agree that communication is the key to any relationship. Men and women should feel comfortable to express things to each other and it should be a safe place to do so.
However, I do agree that communication is the key to any relationship. Men and women should feel comfortable to express things to each other and it should be a safe place to do so.
Most men do NOT express their fantasy at home. They either see their partner as the mother of their children, feel uncomfortable or perverted in expressing their needs or are scared that they will get rejected. The solution to this is communication but most men are lacking this ability. Therefore they proceed to cheating. In this case i don't think the problem is that their fantasies can't be met at home but that they are unable to express their fantasies to their wife.
COMMUNITY LEADER
BTW, fantasies are often things we just think about and don't really do. I had a bad day last week and fantasized about leaving this life behind and running away. Oh, it sounded terrific on that cruddy day. I thought about a cute little one bedroom apartment, lots of time for myself to read, hang out and relax, etc. Sounded blissful.
Does this mean I should act on it? No. It was a pleasant thought but not reality. Not what I REALLY wanted because it would hurt my family.
What if my husband daydreamed about a threesome. Does this mean that I'm falling down in my job as wife by not allowing him to bring another woman home with him to sleep with us? Because he fantasized about it, he should be able to do it?
Fantasies are things in our mind and not always to be acted out. At least from my view point.
But I'm glad we are all in agreement that the 'happy ending' is cheating. Good to find a common place where all agree! :>)
Does this mean I should act on it? No. It was a pleasant thought but not reality. Not what I REALLY wanted because it would hurt my family.
What if my husband daydreamed about a threesome. Does this mean that I'm falling down in my job as wife by not allowing him to bring another woman home with him to sleep with us? Because he fantasized about it, he should be able to do it?
Fantasies are things in our mind and not always to be acted out. At least from my view point.
But I'm glad we are all in agreement that the 'happy ending' is cheating. Good to find a common place where all agree! :>)
COMMUNITY LEADER
She said "a lucky girl" in reference to her husband's beliefs on this subject and his ability to say no to temptation. And she IS lucky that he is like this. I think I would want that for any woman, to be honest.
Let's face it life, men and women, partners in general, let each other down all the time. No one is perfect. And if you enter into a relationship thinking every one of your desires will be fulfilled, one can expect to be dissatisfied. It's about a partnership and doing what you can for each other. And that means occasionally giving up a sexual fantasy if it means getting a hand job by a sex worker.
People cheat for a variety of reasons but one common denominator in all cheaters is lack of integrity in my opinion.
Let's face it life, men and women, partners in general, let each other down all the time. No one is perfect. And if you enter into a relationship thinking every one of your desires will be fulfilled, one can expect to be dissatisfied. It's about a partnership and doing what you can for each other. And that means occasionally giving up a sexual fantasy if it means getting a hand job by a sex worker.
People cheat for a variety of reasons but one common denominator in all cheaters is lack of integrity in my opinion.
Your comment that you are lucky you are a girl is exactly what im talking about. what do you mean by your luckey to be a girl. Please explain what you mean by that?
It is cheating but the question is why! Why do people cheat? Why dont people cheat? Religion says not to, the vows we took says not to, what about why they do it is my question. If people dont cheat because there are outside reasons is the thought to do it cheating? Is the desire to fullfill a fanticy cheating? if the fanticy cant come true in the home whats a person to do?
Vance,
I knew, really really really knew, there are men who feel this way. To pay for such 'action' from a 'service person' seems so 'clinical' and demeaning, and not very self-respecting. If I were not sharing this with someone meaningful I would rather do it for myself !! I can't believe, even were I a Man, that I would feel differently.
I knew, really really really knew, there are men who feel this way. To pay for such 'action' from a 'service person' seems so 'clinical' and demeaning, and not very self-respecting. If I were not sharing this with someone meaningful I would rather do it for myself !! I can't believe, even were I a Man, that I would feel differently.
Asian parlors have nothing to do with a massage, it's about the ending. It is cheating and I don't think it has anything to do with not getting something at home, unless the man makes himself believe it is not cheating and that cheating is having sex.
I would rather do it myself then have someone else who i paid to do it do it.
I would rather do it myself then have someone else who i paid to do it do it.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
In response to the OP's question........
As far as I am concerned this is cheating. And if any man thinks this is the solution to whatever is "lacking" at home then I would say he should learn a thing or two about problem-solving. In my opinion, a man who does this sounds like a man who wants to have his cake and eat it too. I just think some men want "happy endings" from different women......wherever they can get one and use ANY excuse to justify what they do or did.
Hey, if you're single you can get all the "happy endings" you want......morning, noon and night, HOWEVER, when you are exclusive with someone or married then going elsewhere for this is definitely a NO NO and it surely isn't any good solution to problems at home.
I am glad my man uses his BRAIN instead of his MANHOOD when solving problems......I am a lucky girl. He isn't looking for any "happy endings" from a sex worker.