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How to know if she is virgin...
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How to know if she is virgin...

The girl I am going to marry after 3 months told me that she never had sex with any one but recently I came to know that she had some relations with a man. I havn't seen her vagina but I have touched it. Is there any way to find out if she had sex before.?
Plz help I will not be able to take it if I know all this after the marriage.
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Avatar_m_tn
I think the easiest way then is to accept thet she wants, at least, a fresh start with you in how she's treated if she is lying if not then maybe she is a virgin! It would not be the first time I have seen me, or women lie about how far they got with a person.
  
The best advise that I can give is to try to be respectful, don't take your complaints regarding each other to friends and family at first but rather with respect to each other.

And then maybe, and this is not uncommon respect can turn to love.  This way of choosing a mate is less romantic but works at least as well as the haphazard emotional way done in other countries.
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9 Comments Post a Comment
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1118302_tn?1412966888
let me tell you something as a woman, you can't never tell if a woman is a virgin, you can only go by whats shes telling you stop trying to find out is her past im sure you have yours everyone does maybe she feels ashamed and she feels the need to tell you shes a virgin, but virgin or not you should deff love her for who she is.
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Avatar_f_tn
m23ksa - you probably won't be able to tell either way and DON'T go based on if she bleeds or not. not every woman bleeds after the first time of having sex. if you love her, trust her. if it bothers you that much...call off the wedding. but don't pester her. that will only make her upset and probably cause her to resent you and be unhappy.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thank You very much for your answers. I only want that she tell me the truth so that I can trust her I haven't even asked her about this. Frankly, I am feeling ashamed of my question but I was a kind of scared about the future that what if I come know after the wedding that she had sex before? I know I will forgive her because I love her but I will have a bad feeling in my heart. For now I am going to trust her.


Once again thanks for the replies.
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303824_tn?1294875001
The only way you will know for sure is to have an OB doctor check to see if her hymen is broken.

I just was wondering why it matters (culture maybe?) since you say you will forgive her if you find out later that she wasn't truthful. Do you have reason to not trust her? What would happen if she wasn't a virgin?
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Avatar_f_tn
even if her hymen is broken that doesn't necessarily mean she had sex already. vigorous sports and activities, riding horses and such can cause the hymen to break.
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Avatar_f_tn
If you do not love her or trust her enough by now then you should not be getting married. Usually the trust thing is developed before you say the I do part. Sounds like you need to give it more time.
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1301089_tn?1290670171
You've gotten some good advice  from all the posters. I suggest you take it.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thank you very much for your comments,
Actually I think I would have asked the question that why she lied to me? I don't know how much relations did she had with that person. And about loving her I dont know but I think I only care about her, actually its an arrange marriage.
And about the question that "What would happen if she wasn't a virgin? ". The answer is "nothing would happen." because there are many weddings taking place in our culture where girls are not virgin but there is no problem. All husband and wives have a good understanding between them & I HAVE NOT even heard about that any one having a divorce because the girl was not virgin.
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Avatar_m_tn
I think the easiest way then is to accept thet she wants, at least, a fresh start with you in how she's treated if she is lying if not then maybe she is a virgin! It would not be the first time I have seen me, or women lie about how far they got with a person.
  
The best advise that I can give is to try to be respectful, don't take your complaints regarding each other to friends and family at first but rather with respect to each other.

And then maybe, and this is not uncommon respect can turn to love.  This way of choosing a mate is less romantic but works at least as well as the haphazard emotional way done in other countries.
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Avatar_f_tn
There is no possible way for you to find out if she is a virgin or not. You just have to trust what she has said to you. Communication is a big part of any relationship, so just be open with her. She may be very embarrassed about her past, so being supportive and not pushing her to confess will be better for your relationship. Either way, if she is a virgin or not, it's an arranged marriage, so establishing trust with one another is the best thing to do.
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Avatar_m_tn
I just noticed I, to my chagrin put "It would not be the first time I have seen me, or women lie about how far they got with a person"  It was meant to be men not me!  

Though when I was much younger who knows?  Either way good luck.  I enjoyed the people of Saudi Arabia and Kuwait when I visited those countries.  Of course I left my preconceptions at home.  



"May Allah shower you with His blessing in your forthcoming marriage"


Sorry my Arabic is so rusty as to be non existent now.
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