How to live with my ex if i still love him ?

[xuxa4lov]

Hi there!
I know many people will hate me for this story of my life, but please, pleople change and regret what they have done.
I lived with my partner for 9 years and we have 2 beautiful children and another on the way.
Some years ago i cheated on him with is bother. I can't give any explanation on my behaviour. I feel so bad for hurting him and loosing is trust. I love him dispite of what i've done . After he found out i've changed and started to live properly, no more cheating . For 5 years after of what i've done i was thinking that the relationship would work out. 7months ago i found out i was pregant. We talked about abortion but i chose to carry with the pregancy. He said that he never forgave me for what happen and was very hurt still because he really love me. 3 months ago at  work, he met someone. They are dating for about 4 months and the problem we still live together in the same house. He still ask me to have sex and he says that he is going to stay in the house for as long as he need. I still love him and he knows that. I don't know what to do. I wasn't a very good patner for him but i've changed and i need him by my side. He went aboard with her for one week. I feel so hurt, some days i want him back and some days i just want to live without him. Can someone help me please?

[Judy246]

Ask him directly if there is hope for the relationship, his replay should be a determining factor. Good luck to you and the children.

[xuxa4lov]

Thank you for the advice from everyone.
At the monent i'm trying to concentrate on me and my children. I will take the advice from everyone not only because is true but because i need to move on with my life.

[jo929]

If he still loved you he would stop seeing this other woman, so as hard as it will be for you, you must move on and maybe in time he will forgive he will keep using you now or he will move out  luck  jo

[mami1323]

You messed up big time and at first he chose to try to forgive you, however one thing you need to understand about forgiveness is that sometimes someone can't find it in themselves to truly fully forgive.  They may put forth a good effort but in the end, they never get there.  You have changed in his eyes and even though he loved you and wanted to try his hardest to forgive you, you were forever different to him after your infidelity.  You can't live with him because it will only hurt you to see him moving on.  Let him go and focus on taking care of your kids.  Good luck.

[megochick101]

I understand you have two children and another on the way with this man and that you love him, but he has moved on. he is in a relationship with someone else and is basically just staying there and using you when he wants to. That is not a relationship. That is having a roomate/bootycall.

I would get out, out of the house I mean. He's already moved on and you need to do the same, and living together with a man you love who doesn't love you is not going to help you with that. Try and reach out to family or friends to help you in getting out. I would start making plans now. i doubt you will get him back, trust is gone and he's basically gone too.

[Judy246]

What a mess! Here is what I get from your post.

* 9 Yr. relationship with 2 children & current pregnancy
*You regret cheating on your boyfriend with his brother! You have
  hurt him and your relationship in the worst way, by cheating with
  his own brother. Definate poor judgement on your part and his brother
  too. (Red flag)
*You love him yet something was lacking in your relationship for
  you to commit the ultimate act of hurtful infidelity.
* It's noble of you to continue your pregnancy and I respect you for
  this. Life is precious, a gift and not our to take.
* Here is a very important point, your b/f told you that he has "never
  forgivin you for your infidelity with his brother and is still
  very    "....here is the current problem and you can't blame him for
  how he feels.
* Now the table have turned and he is cheating on you with a coworker.
  Revenge or want's out of the relationship, because he can't forgive
  that out of all the people you cheated with, you cheated with his
  brother.
* He will stay in the house as long as he "needs". It's just a matter
  of time that he will leave.

Unfortunately, the betrayal is too great. I feel he could have forgivin an infidelity with a stranger, but with his brother is like a taboo...off limits and something that is unforgivable. It takes a very special person to be able to forgive. Forgiveness is a divine gift that not too many people have. You can suggest counseling or a priest to get down to the real problems in your relationship and why knowling it was wrong, turned to his brother to have an affair. Very poor judgement on your part and now you are reaping what you have sown. I always tell people to think twice, because the grass is rearly greener on the other side. Right now, focus on you, your children and the innocent baby that is to come.  He is financially responsible to take care of his children, but you crossed the line and unfortunately have to live with the consequences. Make sure to surround yourself with family and good friends for support and focus on you and the children and life will fall into place. Good Luck. Judy