Hi, this feels kind-of like a childish question, but its eating me up so i would love your help in this matter please. I just told my GF i dont want anything to do w/her anymore because i found out she has lied ALOT to me and others. Well now she is claiming pregnancy. Now, i know 1st reaction is "shes lying you idoit!" But just the fact of knowing it COULD be true is killing me. I used protection, she "said" she was on the pill. She disposed of the condom at the time "month ago" but is just now telling me it broke. She found out at the doc. for some sort of heart tests and it came back in the blood work that there was faint but obvious preg. hormimones present. She claims that med. abor. is not an apotion because of her recent "heart problem". Surgical may not be an option either BC of her heart. All of this information has come straight from her.
Im trying to find holes in her story to hopefully discover that she def. is lying to me again. Thats why im seeking your help because of my lack of medical knowledge.
She has claimed abuse(twice), rape(2 years ago), abortion(1 yr ago), and so on and so on. Most recently abuse between her and co-worker. She claimed broken wrist and a few scratches. I even saw her wrist and it looked terrible. Numourous post visits from him scaring her and mess. Restraining order,etc.All this took place over a 2-3 week time period. Well i recently found out that it is all untrue. So maybe this should be in the mental forum. Thank you for any input -Frank
Make her take a home pregnancy test right in front of you. I think you are right to be somewhat suspicious. If the test is positive, you might want to consider paternity testing after the baby is born. If you used a condom AND she was on the pill, this makes it pretty unlikely it's yours.
(Don't fall for the old "HPT's don't work for me". If she already had a positive blood test and a few days have passed at least, the urine SHOULD be positive, too.) If not, make her wait a week and test again. Or go to the doctor with her to talk about what to do with the pregnancy in light of her "problems".
Do you think she is in-line with what she said about the complications with her heart and it effecting an abortion?
We are on bad terms at the monent since she told me this, after i told her she lies too much. But i may be able to get her to take a test for me. She said she has two in her purse that she took already, but i dont trust them, because i think they could be tampered with. Is there a document that she should have recieved if they found it in her blood work? Something i could positivly ID?
Did i mention she went through this whole abortion thing 3 mnths ago when she was at school and i was home(not anywere near hear were it could be proven)? We havent been "together" since, but have been hanging out every once in a while (kicking my self sooooooo bad). I kind of just picked up on the serious lying problem because i NEVER had ANY way of acually proving anything, and i just couldnt fathom someone acually being able to tell such huge, long winded lies.
I agree with the rest of the ladies, get outta there!! If she is pg, time will show. I like the idea of having her test while you are there. Simply show up with a test, no warning, and see what happens. At this point, even diluted urine would give an accurate result.
And just a simple word of advice...NEVER, EVER believe a chick who says she is on birth control. And I mean NEVER!!! Or the old story "I can't have kids" because you will be the miracle guy who knocks them up! I cannot even count the number of guy friends who have fallen for that thinking "yes, no condom!" only to get that wicked little surprise a few weeks later "I'm Pregnant!" I know, seems bad for a woman to say this, but I have 2 nephews that are a result of that and while I love them dearly, my idiot older brother fell for the "I'm on BC" trick, not once, but twice by the same woman. Not to mention how many guy friends have ended up in the same boat. They love their kids, but harbor a lot of resentment for the mothers, making things a bit tense.
Anyway, even if she is, play a reserved role for a while until you can find out for sure if it is yours. And watch for the "I was pg but lost it" ploy. I had a friend who pulled that trick with a few guys when we were younger. A nifty gimmick to "save" a failing relationship.
Good luck with everything. I do not envy your position.
If she supposedly has this heart condition, she'd better be getting her a@@ to the doctor to find out what to do. An abortion is not always contraindicated b/c of heart problems. In fact, a full term pregnancy can be risky depending what she says her problem is.
Make her take a test YOU bought. If she won't take it, you have every right to step back and wait to see what happens. Don't admit to anything until you get paternity results, if she really is.
I feel for you, really. Next time be sure you know what condition that condom is in when you're done. I don't understand what you meant when you said she "disposed" of it. If it was intact when you took it off, then the chance of pregnancy dwindles to almost nothing.
Frank I was dating a guy who told me he was dying of cancer. I of course believed him. When you really love someone anything goes. So many people told me not to trust him . But he would cry and carry on so and then he even played the part limping and fainting etc. I do think he had some medical problems but not cancer and he is not dying. All this I found out from his live-in. Whom by the way he was with when he told me otherwise.
Now your story could be quite different. As the dad you have a legal right to know. If you are comfortable contact her dr. If not you will have to speak to a close friend of hers or simply wait it out. Also I do not mean any disrepect but may I suggest a paternity test. This women sounds pretty unbalanced.
GOOD LUCK, Frank! These ladies are right. If she won't pee on the stick right in front of you, she is lying. If she is pregnant, be sure to take a paternity test as soon as possible (which can be if she has an amniocentesis or can be after the baby is born). Document everything about her behavior, even just as notes to yourself, NOW, so if this ever gets to a fight over custody, you will have the information to give an attorney. And after the peeing on the stick, stay away from this crazy girl.
It sounds to me like your gf has narcistic personalty disorder, I would suggest doing some research on theinternet as to what exactly tht is. Get out of the relationship, even if she is pg with your child, you shouldnt be with her. If you want to know now, insist on a hpt, or insist on talking to her dr. Chances are that she is not pg, and that in a few weeks she wil miraculously "miscarry" I know all of this because the abuse etc. game is one my mother plays well, and has been playing for many years. If she IS by some miracle pg with your child, I would suggest suing for sole custody of the child before he/she is even born. A child should not be brought up by one of these people. Good luck to you.
Okay, thanks. Im not with her anymore, since ive told her that ive discovered she lies alot, we havent talked at all. Then she popped up with this PG. stuff. All she does is send me messages on my phone and its driving me insane; she wont talk to me on the phone. So, friday shes going in for more "heart testing" and to see if her heart can "handle" an abortion. I guess will see how it goes. All of your help has realy helped put me at ease for now. It is greatly appreciated! Thank you -Frank
Nope. sorry,even if you were married, he could not give you information w/o her written permission. I really don't think you have any other option. If you don't want to be with her, you shouldn't stay just because there is a possibility that she may be pregnant. Aside from forcing her to take the hpt or going with her to the doc, I guess you could just wait it out. If she really is pregnant, (and doesn't mysteriously m/c) you can demand a paternity test later. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Just do what you truly feel is right for you. You are in our thoughts. Keep us posted.
I just have a couple of things to say. You say your gf told you she has a couple of hpt in her purse that she already took. Instructions on those things say results should NOT be read after 48 hrs (as they may not be reliable). Secondly, what sort of heart condition does she have? I also have one and both my ob/gyn and my cardiologist stressed to me that carrying a baby to term could be risky and that if there came a point in pregnancy that my life was at risk b/c of the pregnancy, then an abortion would have to be considered. My point is, carrying the pregnancy is riskier than the abortion. I agree with the other women, have her take a hpt that YOU have purchased, go to the doctor with her. If she refuses to do these things, you can almost be certain she is lying.
Just wanted to stress the fact that you need to have her pee on the stick right then and there and watch the results appear together. She could pull a "tampered" one out of somewhere in the bathroom and by "tampered" I mean an old one with what are called evaporation lines. This is when you read a test past the recommended time (about 10 min) and can get a false positive. Good luck, let us know.
UPDATE: She had "tests" preformed today to find out she has mitral valve prolapse and that she has to wait two months(when she leaves for school........(and me)....coicedence???..) before they can decide if an abortion is possible. After online research about MVP this sounds like absolute BS to me. Am i missing something? Any other reason MVP would prevent medical and surgical abortion at this time???? I have yet to present a HPT to her but plan to ASAP. Thanks -Frank
UDATE2: She says she cant be on any anit-biotics, cant be put under, no blood thinng meds, for the abor. Now, my research indicates you arnt put under for surg. abor. Is this correct? And does any of this fly? And she says there waiting to see if her heart prob. heals in 2 mnths, or she needs surg. to fix it?
She offered me bloodwork papers by mail, because i think she is avoiding the HPT possibly. So, i think the papers may be self-generated??? How do i tell if they are authentic and not altered? She agreed to a HPT but not untill 2 weeks after her ultrasound appt.. Ever since i mentioned HPT that i buy and bring over, shes started talkin about how shes gonna be gone most of the summer now, and doesnt have alot of free time. Im getting kinda POed.
I hate to say it, but her story does seem a little unbelievable. Maybe you should offer to go with her to a Dr. appt. and offer "support" see what is really going on. If she doesn't want you to go then you should really have her take a test and see if it comes out positive. Sounds to me like she wants attention. For an abortion they don't normally put you under. If you look it up or ask a Dr. they numb your cervix and just dilate you and do a d&c, same as if you had a miscarriage and they were cleaning out the tissue. There are some restrictions I'm sure, but I hardly think a Dr. is going to run tests to see if can can handle it, they should know. Also, lots of people have heart problems and are on antibiotics, they are just preventative anyway, seems like she hasn't done her research either. (Ihave a medical background, and worked on a crisis line for awhile, things may have changed in the past few years, but doubt they have changed that much.) I would think a pregnancy would be harder on her body. Could also be that she is pregnant and doesn't want an abortion. Either way you need to have proof that she is pregnant and then go from there. She should have something from the Dr. appt., even to show that they ran a test, it would be on paperwork under labs run. Good luck, and if it is negative, don't look back, get away ASAP!
Clearly I am not a cardiologist nor do I play one on TV. But I have a friend with mitro valve prolapse and there were no problems/ precautions with either of her pregnancies. It is a mild cardiac concern w/meds though. Anyway, may I suggest moving on with your life. I hope in time you meet someone more level headed. Liz
My ex-girlfriend just told me that she is pregnant. I stopped by her house, and she has a bunch of used tampon wrappers in her trash can (she is methodical about taking out her trash, so they have to have been used within the past week or so). Also, she has taken her birth control pills up through today (I discovered). In addition, even though she is only a couple weeks late, she claims to be going in for her first ultra sound this week. I asked to go with her to the ultrasound and she said no. She told me it would be too "weird". Also, she couldn't tell me a due date yet. A good friend of mine is a nurse, and she tells me that my ex is lying to me. She has a history of mental problems, and is on daily anti-depression meds. With the problems she has (some which are pretty severe), I can't help but be concerned about her having a child right now. Add in the fact that it would be my child as well, and I am very concerned...she has actually deceived me in the past by claiming she was committing suicide (on at least 2 occasions-the second of which I ended up calling 911). With the evidence at hand, her problems, and past history with trying in desperation to keep me in her life, my thought is that she must be deceiving me. I'm interested is some more feedback...is it possible she is not lying??
I agree - tell her you'll go to the dr. the next visit w/ her. I can assure you that an abortion most certainly can be done w/ a "heart condition". Especially in a younger pt., you must simply choose apropriate anesthetics and be monitored ( for ex. she may not have one in a clinic w/ just an MD, but instead can be sedated at an outpatient surgery center under the guidance of an anesthesiologist or nurse anesthetist ). Actually, at a clinic, the procedure would be done under "local" where 1) she can get a shot of Nubane or Demerol for pain/ makes her sleepy and 2) they will numb the cervix w/ lidocaine (w/out epi) which will not affect her heart. Sounds like more lies, but just know there most definitely is a way to provide a safe medical abortion.
I was married to a man that could look you straight in the eye and lie without blinking, looking down, etc. We were together for five years. He lied for months. If there's anyone that should be mistrustful of anyone, it's me. I think the best thing to do is to educate yourself on the detection of lies. Liars have a hard time looking you in the eye (they blink or look up and down). They don't fill in a lot of details. They may answer your questions with questions. They may try to start an argument about something else to avoid answering your questions. One of the best ways to tell if someone is lying is to look at their eye movement when you ask them questions. When people think, they utilize certain areas of the brain. One area is for remembering and another area is for "creating" or making up. If you google the words "lying" and "eye movement;" you should be able to find some good resources. I think if she is sitting across from you and it looks like she is looking to the upper left (so she is really looking up at her upper right), that is an indication that she is "creating" a memory, rather than accessing or remembering something.
Despite my experiences, I do believe people are generally trustworthy and honest. She may or may not have/have had issues in the past. I don't think you should necessarily discount what she is saying. My best advice is not to listen to anyone else (including me), but to follow your intuition.
I am in the same boat. Perhaps someone reading can help me out as well. This girl never once said the words: I'm pregnant" to me. And only began INSINUATING pregnancy the day i after I broke up with her. I admit my decision to end the relationship was abrupt, and I think (hope) she is lying to punish me. She emails and texts me , really "laying it on thick" about how its physically affecting her, etc. I knew this girl for just 6 weeks, and just now finding out how creepy she really is. I Used condoms every time, and never saw breakage. 1) could she be crazy enuf to take a used condom from the bathroom waste basket and extract from it? 2) ive been playing her game until about a week ago, because i cannot bear to play anymore. I told her the whole thing sounds "shady", after which she now VOWS to have the child, just out of spite, apparently.she could drag this out well past the holidays now.
i hear ya on the text thing. This girl refuses to see me face to face, its always a big dramatic email or a text. i think she doesnt have the nerve to look me in the eye and say the words "im pregnant" much less, "im pregnant and its YOURS" I truly wonder if its not illegal to intentionally mislead someone about a pregnancy. if its not, it should be, because its hurtful, and grueling, stressful and quite honestly, damaging. I am doing ok, and i hope you are too. but im afraid of this girl now. i dont dare see her in person anymore, so i guess i wont know unless i send someone in to her workplace in a bout 5 mos and see if shes showing. people like this count on that lingering doubt, and on your guilt. you can bet that shortly before the point of no return, there will be a email or text about a miscarriage, probably as long and gruesome as possible, trying to twist the knife one last time. hang in there, man. And i'll do the same
I had an almost exactly similar with my girlfriend some years ago and came up with an ingenious solution. Some weeks later just after making love one night, I discreetely swabbed the testing stick against the juices in her area!!! and excused myself to the bathroom. This was at the time when the test result would have been very accurate. The hormone is not just present in the blood and urine but also the juices produced down below!
Sure enough, the result was negative. Basically, I tested her without her knowledge. I am not one for promoting such deviousness but if you saw what she was like you would understand.
my so called best mate told me she was pregnant with my boyfriends best friend who she was seeing at the time, at the time i thought she was ligit but she came up with excuse after excuse and could never answer any questions fully and they happened to be same dates she was pregnant as i was the previous year after i told her my dates and then she disappeared when she was dumped and noone saw her till she was almost due and she apprently lost baby at 8months after falling down a flight of stairs. once hearing this her ex checked hospitals (as her husband bad i no) and no one had even heard of her!! complete lies and i suspect unfortunately this is the same with your ex, all a plan to hold on to you and it didnt work so now what she thought was a good lie is now a huge mess. However do get a HPT done asap or get her to get her doctor to write to you with a positive result, if she refuses both she's lying through her teeth. another good option is what my b/f m8 did was get me to talk to her even though i knew she was lying and dig deepeer so talk to her friends ask after her and the baby see what they know about the baby and her heart, dont be nasty though cause god forbid it is true you'll regret all the bad things u said! good luck keep us updated so sorry this is happening to you...... My b/f m8 is now one of my best m8s and i remember how worried he was so i do feel for u xxx
I definitely know how you feel. I'm going through a similar situation. This girl I knew came to visit me from out of town, and stayed with me for eight days. We slept in the same bed every night, but I refused to sleep with her. I threw away all of my condoms to ensure myself that I wouldn't. Then one night, while I was asleep, she basically took advantage of me. She had a Mirena put into her and she was on birth control pills (so she says, but she could've easily been lying). After we had already done it, I figured what the hell, and being a guy (and a weak one at that when it comes to a good looking gal), we slept together a few more times. All unprotected. I know, I know, I'm an idiot. Trust me, I don't need ridicule. She had planned on moving here, but I told her not to. She went back home, and we continued to talk. Everything was fine. After a couple of months, I told her I don't want to talk to her anymore, because I figure we'd both move on. Neither of us was going to move to where the other one was, and I'm not into a long term relationship. I ignored her for two weeks and then she sent me a text message saying she had to tell me something important.
Sure enough, she said she was pregnant. She said she felt she was gaining fat in her stomach area, and had missed her period whenever. I got real nervous, and told her to take a test.
A few days later, she did. She sent me a picture-message on my phone of her and a positive reading HPT.
So far, I've been very nice in describing her. Basically, she's whacked out. I didn't find this out til later, and I told her not to move here because of it, while being nice.
She calls her pregnancy a "blessing". But I'm still not convinced she's pregnant. If she is, it'd be four months along. She told me after two months, and said that she could feel it kick. Right there, that made me believe that she was lying. Any credibility she may have had went right out the window. I was still a nervous wreck though. I never had a father growing up, and I would never do the same to another child. Ever. That's what makes me nervous. Not child support or anything like that; but the fact that there would be a child without a father.
Now I have no way of seeing her in person. She lives states away. I blocked her phone number because she was stressing me out real bad with text messages. I thought that was the end of it, and convinced myself she was crazy. Last thing I told her was that I moved away.
Everything was fine and I pushed it out of my mind. Til she called and told my family. Now it's a big situation on whether she's lying or not. She basically wants me to marry her, without saying it. She says that I'm the perfect guy, and would be the perfect father. She's happy to have my child, etc etc.
Then she told me that she went to the doctor, who told her the date of her conception was January 16th. I looked it up, and you can't pinpoint a date like that. I mean, especially if she was lying about her missed period...
And also, I remember she had her period during the time.
A lot of what she says doesn't add up, but it's leaving me sleepless because I don't know for certain. I believe that, if she IS pregnant, it is: A) Either from the scumbag she was dating whom she broke up with a week before she came to visit me; or B) Either by the guy she was dating when I stopped talking to her. Both guys she denies sleeping with...
It's a real tough situation and is certainly hurting me terribly. I'm honestly not an *******, and if she IS pregnant, and if the child IS mine, I'll have to man up and do all I can do.
I just don't believe that she is. I honestly don't know what to do other than wait until October to see if she has a child. What else can I do, right?
And one last thing.... I had the thought after she told me that perhaps she found out she was pregnant before she came to stay with me for a week, because it was a spontaneous decision to come here. I offered her an "out" basically, and never planned on sleeping with her... but I thought that maybe she knew she was impregnated by some idiot, and she wanted to pawn it off on me, whom she believes to be a much more suitable father.
If she's after money, she's SOL. Please offer your opinions. I'm wondering if she could've faked that pregnancy test, or if all of this is just a bad dream, or what. I'm stumped and stressed.
There should be more serious consequences for girls who pull this kind of stuff... I just experienced a similar situation and it leaves you emotionally, psychologically and physically drained. Which I'm sure is the hope of the deranged women who do this sort of sick and disturbing thing. I found this on the web... at least there is a law about it...
"Lawyer has advised that (girl's name)'s actions clearly amount to "Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress" as a civil issue and "Criminal Harassment" as a police matter."
Mentally unstable or just simply angry women should not be allowed to get away with this kind of stuff... it's sick!
condoms can and do break. they are not a 100% ef'fective birth control. my husband and i have had our fair share of condoms break on us...which is why i am also on b/c. 2 forms are better than 1 or not doing it at all.
i don't know where you go your information sammi but it is VERY wrong and telling people the wrong information when you apparently don't know, can be very bad. it can cause problems for couples and it can cause pregnancies if a person relies on condoms alone. so please read up on things before you make posts.
Sorry in advance but it's "girls" like her that make women look bad.. she sounds like a nut job.. sadly I've heard of a lot of "girls" lying about being pregnant just to manipulate a guy.. good luck and I highly doubt she's telling the truth.. and if she is, sounds like you might be in for quite the ride with that one.. JK lol but seriously I'd take her to the Dr yourself just to make sure!!
I don't think these women are crazy or unstable, they may be acting that way, but it could be because these men are using them for sex. Imagine how emotionally damaging and hurtful it is to these women to know that these men are just using them for sex and really don't care about them. I think there should be more serious consequences for men who use women for sex!
While it is off topic and this is a very old post, I do actually feel that it is horrible for these women to lie about pregnancy. There is no excuse for that. Being used is something a woman has to let happen. If you are promiscuous and used for sex, there is a remedy. Stop doing it. good luck and again, this is an old thread.
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