How to tell my son the man he has been calling Dad is not his biological father

[poupina]

I need some suggestions with this dilemma  i have. I was dating this man ( the one my son believes to be his father ) for a year and we broke up, a month or so after i started dating someone else ( who turned out to be the biological father ) and i'm currently not with neither man.However the person my son calls Dad does know yet that he is not the real father and the biological dad wants to meet my son which i should be thankful for. But my son is extremely sensitive and is madly in love with the person he believes to be his father so i do go about telling my child and the other person ( who by the way has been there emotionally but not financially, but i believe he still will be very upset with me). My wish is for my son to eventually be able to have the best of both worlds and end up with 2 dads. Please help

[specialmom]

Oh goodness.  My heart goes out to your little boy.  This will hurt.  This may rock his world.  I wish you could just leave it and introduce his bio dad as a new special family friend.  I guess you probably can't but this will feel devastating to your son.  I hope that the man he thinks is dad loves him enough to still be there for him.  

Hurting our children, seeing their wounded eyes is the hardest part of being a parent.  I know this will be really difficult for you.  I wish I had a great answer that would fix everything.  I just hope both men can give this boy love he needs.  best of luck to you.

[teko]

Ouch! This is a tender age. First the man that thinks he is daddy must be told. Then, maybe the two of you could approach it together with your son and explain that this daddy was not the one that helped create him. Hopefully this guy that thinks he is the boys dad will be on board, if not, then that is gonna complicate things abit. In that case you might have to go it alone. I would introduce the boys father into his life and let them develop a relationship and see how it goes and if your child develops a strong bond, it will make the transition much easier. Otherwise, it could develop major trust issues from your son to you. But whichever way you go, he has a right to know the truth. I feel for you going thru this it is gonna be hard.

[poupina]

9 yrs old

[teko]

How old is your son?