Husband Addicted to pain pills

[someoneinneed]

Should I believe that my husband who has been addicted to pills off and on for 4 years now has stopped himself in 5 weeks?  Is that even possible, if he really wanted to stop?  I want my marriage to work, but I do not know how to believe that this will not happen again, because of how much he lied to me already.

[oxygirl487]

as u can tell by my screen name i usually post in the addiction forum  lol...i was just reading thru different forums and posts when i saw yours....i was addicted to oxcycontin,a pain med,i am clean now so i know all about addiction.....it is very possible to quit....was he ever sick at any time? like stomach problems,chills,sweating,no sleep,loss of appetite? if so them he may have went thru withdrawal.......withdrawal lasts anywhere from 1 to 7 days and he would have been very very sick..he couldt have hid this from u.....if he still acts the same then i would doubt that he is clean....but thats just my opinion and i dont know u or ur hubby ...but i hope he has quit...for your sake and his.....email me if u need to......i have lots of info....and it may help him to check out the addiction forum....

[someoneinneed]

He used to go through all those w/d symptoms every weekend when he was trying to quit but then the work week began and he said he could not work properly without them.  He has been at his mom's house and he may have went through the symptoms there as well, he could not use work as an excuse anymore because he lost his job the day I kicked him out.  He states that he is clean and that his still feels a little weak, but strong enough to start work again.

[girliegrl1723]

i don't know anything about this specific type of addiction, but, the best i can tell you is that usually, addiction is forever. whether he has stopped or not, there will ALWAYS be the possibility of him going back to it. and i think the only way to really know for sure if he is serious about quitting is time. unfortunately, you will have to open yourself up to let him back in the house and monitor the situation. of course, this will mean going through all the hurt and pain over again if he does resort back to using, but thats the only way you'll know, if he's there living with you, without a chance to hide anything. also, you said he lost his job, but says he is well enough to start work again. does that mean a new job? new jobs can be stressful and i would watch him very carefully during the adjustment period. im so sorry you are going through this type of situation with your husband, i cant imagine how stressful that is. my brother has an addiction problem and it weighs on the entire family. everyday.

[oxygirl487]

sounds like he may be telling u the truth....i still feel weak....it is almost impossible to go thru w/d and work.....i feel for u...we as addicts dont realize what we put the people that love and care for us thru.....im so sorry for u....hw long have u been married?....did he get a new job?....sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom for someone to quit .....i know it did me..... im sure he loves u...its just when ur an addict u r physically addicted.....dont get me wrong im not taking his side im just saying it is hard.......sounds like he wants to make things better......r u gonna give him another chance or?...

[someoneinneed]

He already applied to a new job, but they asked him to come back on Jan 2nd.  We have been married for only 7 months, but we were high school sweethearts, broke up for 4 years got back together 2 years ago, found out he was taking pills about 3 months before the wedding, called off the wedding he said he would quit,  I honestly believed he did up until the time we got married and up until about a month after the wedding did I start noticing his abnromal behavior again.  We have decided to give this another chance, but when he gets his job and gets some things straightened out, I want to know that when he gets a job he his helping me with our bills, not making excuses for where his money is going (Pills), like he used to.

[oxygirl487]

i dont blame u for that.....pills r expensive and can ruin your life i figured it out the hard way.....do u know what kind he was taking and what amount? u dont have to say its cool....im just curious..plus some r alot worse than others to get off of.....i just want to get a general idea of how bad his addiction is or was.....

[someoneinneed]

From what he told me he was taking "ROXY'S",  I guess they are a percocet and he was taking about 10/day.

[jml1986]

You know how you can tell when an addict is lying? He opens his mouth! The boy needs help and you can't help him.

[uvlvrebel]

an addiction of any kind is difficult.  My hubby was addicted to pills for about a year, right after we had been married roughly 4 yrs. At the time, I didn't understand, I kicked him out, we had a yr. old baby, he had lost his job, had no prospect of finding a new one, he was depressed, and he was in pain.  But I was thinking about me and my baby and didn't give a sh!t what he was going thru.  he came back a month later, said he was done with that and we moved frwrd.  Now, fast frwrd about 9 yrs, and after a few+ car accidents and a broken leg, I found myself addicted to these same little pill demons he had been addicted to.  Best thing that could have happened to me in my perfect little bubble.  It really knocked me down a peg or six.LOL... I had no sympath, much less empathy for anyone in a situation like this before.  they literally become your life and until you've broken free, you don't realize how much of your life you've given over to those little demons.  My addiction started as a legitimate need for pain meds, from a physician.  Tolerance built, and I needed more.  The chain wasn't broken until I broke it.  does it mean I will never be able to be around drugs/ medicine again for the rest of my life.  no, it means I had a problem with an addictive, habit forming item (like cigarettes, Teko) and I arrested the addiction, making a choice to stop and not consume again.  For days, at least 2 weeks, my body kept telling me "take more, you'll feel better";  But I listened to my head and stayed "quit".  Your hubby mught be genuine, would you want to throw away a good marriage on a hunch he's not telling the truth.  there are OTC kits that you could buy to test his urine for narcotics/drugs if you realy have doubts.  if he was taking after you guys got married after he said he quit, he could have had a relapse- which is a very real part of recovery.  i pray I don't but know the "risk" is there.    And contrary to popular belief, you can help him by not "kicking him while he's down."  addiction is a disease, marriage vows state, "through SICKNESS/ health".    

[Jaybay]

It appears your husband really does want to quit, but most people can't do it alone.  He needs to see an addictionologist and actively engage in a rehab program.  Going to NA would be a good start.  A great website for you both to check out is:  http://www.heroin-detox.com/default.asp  Don't let the "heroin" word put you off.  This site is primarily dedicated to anyone with any opiate addiction, and the people there offer a wealth of detox information and support.

[heatherlynn22]

it's hard to trust an addict. i know...i was one a few years back. i was in a horse riding accident where my hip and ribs were broken, multiple concusions and a dislocated shoulder and knee....needless to say i was on a ton of pain meds. anything from oxycodone (the pure form of oxycottin as prescribed by docs) to muscle relaxors. i was on them for about 6 months while in the hospital and had vicadin and flexoral (sp) for when i was sent home. so for about a year i was on pain meds...then cut off. i went everywhere possible to get them. it took my mother about 2 years to realize i had an addiction...i lied through my teeth. saying that i needed them for this or that....but she saw through it...with her support and love as well as my families...i was able to break my addiction. it took time though. so just be there for him. support him and believe him. look into counseling or talk to a doctor about detoxifying agents to help him out. but right now...speaking through the experience....he really needs your love and support. knowing someone's rooting for you through something like this always helps and is a blessing. i know i wouldn't have done it if it weren't for my mother.

[dove3053]

You knew when you married him he had a pill problem. I would have to lean toward oxygirls advice on this one. She gives sound advice on these matters.

I wish you good luck. I have seen many marriages come back from problems like this and I hope yours will be one.

Dove

[someoneinneed]

I just feel so confused right now, because he is not even trying to make this work, he is acting like he is content living at his parents and abandoning his wife.  I get mixed feelings on this and I just need to lock my self in my house for a day and really decide whether I am going to stick through this with him or if I am going to have us sign the divorce papers sitting at home.  Thanks everyone for your advice.

[scot120]

The addition form and addition community form would have a lot more help . If you didn't love him ,it wouldn't hurt so much .The fact that he quit before for 5 weeks , says he knows that their is a problem .It's hard enough to quit with support . To detox and quit alone would be almost impossible .You need to learn the best way you support him and not enable him . He would probably benefit from committing  himself into a 5 day detox program and an outpatient rehab or NA .(They do have government funded  rehab facilitys }