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Husband has started to watch porn
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Husband has started to watch porn

I've been married 10 years my husband is my best friend, we 've been through hell business wise but have been strong throughout. We have a fantastic sex life, i'm no prude we've both watched soft porn on the tv we got some good tips. But recently our sex has been even better i've got a very high sex drive, so was devastated to find my husband has been sitting down stairs on hardcore porn sites while i'm lying upstairs in bed, and to be told it's not a reflection on you, it's just a man thing makes me want to puke. I feel physically sick, i've lost my appetite and i've lost my best friend, I hate the thought of not wanting him to touch me again, (because I loose out here as well) but I can't stand him being in the same room never mind the same bed. I want to get over this but I just can't stop crying i've no-one to talk to and it's killing me
Tags: husband, HAS, started, watch, porn
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973741_tn?1342346373
Hi,  well I'm sorry you are feeling this way dear.  

I have some questions for you to try and help.  You are okay with soft porn that you watch together but are disturbed by your husband watching more hardcore stuff alone.  Does it cause him to not be with you?  Are you upstairs waiting for him and he doesn't show up because he is downstairs watching alone?  Is he neglecting his duties as a husband?

I would say that 'some' men do indeed watch porn without it being any reflection whatsoever on their relationship and their spouse.  It is recreational fun and they view it at a distance as no big deal.  It supplements the sex life they have with their partner. Do you think this is your husband?

I will say that you are having an extreme reaction to this.  To say you don't want him to touch you again and you have lost your best friend due to this is a BIG reaction.  I'm trying to picture how I'd feel if my husband was watching hardcore porn and I found out about it.  I'd not be thrilled, I guess.  I'd maybe think he shouldn't watch it and ask him not to.  But I'd not see him as a monster that I didn't want anything to do with.  

Why do you think you are having an extreme reaction to this?  

Anyway, how does he respond to your asking him not to watch?  
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1310633_tn?1289313024
I am male, and I watch porn. Not too much, not too little... just enough for me. When I was married, it wasn't a problem for my wife, and she even used to join me from time to time.

I will say that it's a problem for some men, and they use it as a replacement for sex with their partner, but you say your sex life has remained constant, even though he's watching porn, so it appears that your husband is like me in that sense.

Your reaction of not wanting to touch him or being in the same room with him, is understandable with your aversion to pornographic material, although it's a bit on the extreme side. You said you've watched soft-core porn together, so hard-core is just another variant.

Do you think you could watch with him? Do you think he'd be open to watching with you? Besides your sex life, is your marriage on rocky ground, or quite stable?

I'm just trying to see if there's more to this relationship than just the sex (no offense, by the way)
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1268057_tn?1399131913
Sorry to hear this has happened to you.

Have you talked with him about the way you feel?

I have dated men in the past that watched porn and to be honest I don't care for any of that stuff, hard or soft.  Does nothing for me.  It is something I cannot accept.  They all said "it was a man's thing."  Well my dad, grandfathers and husband hate porn.  However, they have enjoyed looking at beautiful women on the street, TV, etc.  

My huband doesn't view porn.  
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