Okay to start off, I'm 17. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years (gonna be on Sunday). He's 19. Well in the beginning of our relationship we had A LOT of problems. I was cheating on him A LOT. Yeah we've been through ups and down. But long story short, I fell in love with him after I stopped cheating. Yeah stupid right? But that's how I did. Its almost 2 years that I haven't. Anways, we recently had an abortion on Aug 2012. (No rude comments please) & since then I've been REALLY depressed. Yes I regret what we did. :( well obviously from all the cheating, he changed a lot. He's not too "in love" as he was before. Well let's just say it was "puppy love". But yeah, he was being really supportive when we first did what we did. After a month things went back to fighting.( Sorry I forgot to mention we always fight over dumb stuff. ) & yeah we went back to that. & like it just goes on & off. Like one day were completely happy & a week later were fighting. So due to all of that, it makes me think about our baby. :( I always tell him, but I guess he doesn't seem to understand what it is like for me. Anyways recently he has been putting my hopes down by telling me he'll see me. He tells me "ima go see you in a bit" & I'm like "okay, ima be waiting" I get ready & 2 hours pass by, still doesn't come. I call him & ask him " I thought you were coming soon?" He says "oh I have to stay home & wait for my mom to get here" or sometimes he goes do stuff . I don't always ask him where cus I do trust him. & then it gets late & he ends up not coming -.- I get mad & depressed . He just like puts my hopes down . He's done it so much to the point that I get tired of it. He did that today again & I finally come to think that maybe he doesn't care about my feelings. He knows I'm still depressed about what we did, & he still manages to put my hopes down by telling me he's coming to see me. :( I do love him so much & I could tell he does too, but the question is , does he care about me? I feel like he doesn't really anymore because of the past. I hurt him A LOT .& I feel like it got to the point that he didn't care about me either. I am going to talk to him about it today right now. I honestly feel like I can't leave him. He's part of me already & I feel like if I don't have him anymore, I would fall more into depression. Which will lead me to do something that my family wouldn't want. I've thought about this a few times, but I just know I wouldn't want to leave him here alone. What should I do ?
You've been involved with Him since You were 14 (and He was 16) YES, YES, YES, at 14 (& 16) it IS "puppy love" - as You YourSelf suggested.
This is not a reflection on You as a person - this is a reflection of ANYONE who is 14 years old (&16). 14 (& 16) Year Old People know and understand a LOT - BUT at 14 (&16) years of age, We have NO idea or realization of what We might want when We are 20, or 30 or 40 years of age. Our thoughts, Our Ideas, even Our IDEALS change as We Mature and as We grow Older. No matter how mature You feel You are today, You MUST know that You will "grow" in EVERY aspect with and in time.
Regarding abortion - He is NOT going to feel this in the same way You do. It simply will not/is not going to happen. Pregnancies and Abortions ARE different for Boys - they do not EXPERIENCE Pregancy (or Delivery) and they do not EXPERIENCE abortion. That's why We (as Women) have to take Charge and Responsiblity for Our Bodies. What's done is done - BUT I would persuade You to NEVER risk this again. (there is NO birth control that is 100% risk free)
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