I feel like a loser?

[swsunshine]

I'm 14 and I still haven't had any type of boyfriend. All my other friends have tons of boyfriends and I feel like such a loser for not having any so far. I mean, I haven't had any guys ask me out, ever. I'm going into high school this fall. I feel not pretty and ugly. I have always been on the chubby side, is that preventing me from having a boyfriend? Please help. Is something wrong with me?

[iam1butterfly]

sunshine,
For some girls, having a boyfriend is a popularity contest.
For other girls, having a boyfriend has a more special meaning.
So, your value as a person doesn't weigh on how many boyfriends you have.
Or, if you ever had any boyfriends.
Just give yourself time... the boyfriends will come.  

[Vance2335]

Your 14 years old, don't try to grow up too quick. I know you look at your friends and use them as an example and think that you should have a boyfriend, but that is not true.
I am a guy, I did not have a girlfriend for the first time until I was 19 years old. I didn't ask anyone out at all in high school. I made friends with most of the girls in my high school so I had plenty of opportunity to ask someone out, but I was just having fun playing sports and hanging out with my friends (guys and girls). Then when I went to college I met someone that blew me away and that was my first girlfriend.

So for everyone it takes time and everyone is different. Be patient and just have fun with your friends, guys will ask you out.

[jo929]

14 is so young plese do not grow up so fast. boys can come later,  luck  jo

[j7653]

There is nothing wrong with you.  I understand that you feel bad about not having boyfriends, but please try to be patient and give it time.  Just because your friends have boyfriends does not make them better or worse than you.  I did not start dating until I was 16.

You mentioned being "on the chubby side". If you look around you will see many couples who are "on the chubby side" so try not to get hung up on that if you can help it.

Be yourself, do things that you like to do, and you will find happiness.  And you will find that things come in life when you least expect them.

[gokuangel]

Plz take every1's advice and dont worry about growing up so fast!! Just have fun with school and activities!! I started dating at 14 and i wish i didnt i feel it took so much away from me and my life and i feel now i have things to be ashamed of!! I wish i wasnt so worried about it bk then there are so many many more important things you can be doing right now!! And dont be harsh on yourself im sure you are a very pretty girl!!

[vmvnpv]

There is nothing wrong with you, sweetie.  14 is the perfect age to be hanging out with friends and enjoying life.  Not answering to a boyfriend.  I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 17 years old.  I remember wanting to have one at 14, 15, 16 years old.  But now that I'm older I'm glad I didn't.  They were so immature at that age and I don't think I could have handled a broken heart.  It was hard to handle a broken heart at 17 and older.  Enjoy being young.  Enjoy hanging out with your friends.  These are times you are never going to get back and you will wish that a boy didn't come in between your friendships (which it may).  There is plenty of time to have a boyfriend.....and to get your heart broken.  But when that special one comes along you will be so glad you found him and not having a boyfriend at 14 will mean nothing to you.  :-)

[Artemis04]

Don't be in a hurry to get a boyfriend. I am 26 and have had my heart broken twice and it hurts bad. Just focus on doing well in school and going to college. I did not date much in high school, I graduated with a 4.0, and a scholarship to college. I am currently a premedicine student hoping to go into pedatrics in 2 years. I also have 2 other degrees. Just experience life and dating will come. I have learned that boys, men, dating takes time. Do not be in a rush to grow up, because those are the people that get hurt more. As for being chubby, I was overweight as a teen and by the time I got to college I grew out of it. I wish you the best of luck in school and life.

[heatherlynn22]

don't be in such a hurry. enjoy being young. i wasn't even allowed to date till i was 16. i went on ONE date and didn't have a boyfriend till i was in college. having a boyfriend is over rated. there are so many other things that are more important than having a boyfriend. focus on school, sports and doing what you need to do to get ready for college. when it's that time it is. the right guy will come along and just sweep you off your feet. that's what happened to me. i've known my husband since we were 6 or 7. we couldn't stand each other growing up. he went away to the marines and we found each other again. talked for a bit and decided what the heck and gave it a shot. after a rocky 3 years we tied the knot and now have 2 beautiful little boys. so it just happens. don't rush it and don't force it. just go with the flow.

[chocobaby]

Honey you are so young i wish you wouldn't be influenced by anyone in so doing making you feel like a loser.You are beautiful the way you are and if there is somebody out there for you they'll love you anyway not because of your outer appearance only but also your inner beauty.Please remain focused don't go searching keep your head up they'll come sooner than you think but dont go jumping in anything yet ok and trust me you'll know when the right one comes.Until then focus on you and loving yourself unconditionally high school is not so easy so im sure you'll be more than busy studying or hanging out with friends that share the same moral values as yourself. Just remember dont let anybody force you to do anything you dont want to do ok.
Keep sweet

[crystalball_8]

aww, no!  You are NOT a loser.  When I was 14, I felt the exact same way.  I really didn't have many friends, and I thought I must be hideous or something because boys would never even acknowledge I existed.  I know having a boyfriend seems like something that could boost your self-esteem - and maybe it would - but believe me, boys at that age are silly anyway.  Just focus on yourself and doing what you enjoy, and you never know...you may meet a boy who likes the same things.  Especially in high school.  Definitely join clubs you think are interesting and fun, and you're bound to find interesting and fun people, who likewise think the same about you :)

There is nothing to worry about, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with you.  My sister is 14 also, and she is one of those girls who has had many "boyfriends."  I'm 21, and I began my first meaningful relationship when I was 20.   My sister is always telling me I'm a loser for not having had a real boyfriend up until now, but really, it is worth the wait for the meaningful relationships you'll develop as you get older.  I'd say skip the pettiness when you're young, and just enjoy being young!  Even just having some guy friends is fun.  

I know you mentioned that you feel unattractive.  The thing that's evil about middle school and high school is that, the way you see people seeing you is how you form your view of yourself.  At least that's how it was for me.  It's a really insecure time, since you're still growing physically and mentally.  As impossible as it sounds, developing the ability to not care what other people think about you is reeeally helpful.  I'm so self-conscious, and I was (and still am a bit)  paranoid about how people saw me, which ended up making me even less confident and even more convinced of my apparent ugliness.  Looking back, it was unnecessary stress and pretty stupid, since you yourself are the only opinion that really matters (as I hope you grow to learn).  

My best advice is to not let worries and bad feelings about yourself rule your life.  Be positive, and be like, "I'm totally awesome!" and you'll find that you feel better about yourself (as long as it doesn't become an insane ego or anything >.< ).  Stay happy and worry not about boyfriends, they will happen when the time is right.

J

[teko]

You might want to read some of the situations on here and rethink your need to have a boyfriend. Why is it that as soon as we get pubic hair we have this insane need to hook up? Read the sad and tragic drama that goes on and then dedicate yourself to having fun in school and not hurry trying to be an adult. Your job is to concentrate on you grades, your friends and you said yu are starting hi school? You will have your hands full the way it is, dont be so quick to borrow all that trouble.

[trkergrl]

You are way to young. focus on yourself and your future. If you really think you need a boyfriend read some of the stuff in other forums that young girls have written about having kids and that stuff and being so young. Focus you yourself and your studies, that will get you alot farther in life than an boy right now.