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I found porn on my boyfriend's phone and it's bothering me?
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I found porn on my boyfriend's phone and it's bothering me?

My boyfriend and I live together, and I went to use his phone to google something and I saw where he was on a porn site.  This bothers me because usually when we have sex I iniate it and when I dont, we only have sex about once a week.  Which is fine with me, but i've told him before sometimes it botherz me that I usually initiate because it makes me feel unwanted.  Since then he has iniated a little more.  There is an age gap between us and he says since he's older he just probably doesn't get as horny as I do.  Anyway, since we only have sex about once a week and because of everythinf else ive stated, and I found porn on his phone,  it really bothered and hurt me.  I havent said anything to him yet and im not sure if I will.  I dont see why he wAtches that behind my back if he already knows I wish he wanted me more.  The only times we arent together is when hez at work, usually, snd I get home lateish one day a week.     It really bothered me and still does, it makes me feel like he treasurez that so much.  But I am the jealous type so I dont know if I should let it go or confront him?
3 Comments Post a Comment
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3149845_tn?1415046551
Hi, porn has been around for years but access to it was through cinemas or book stores and visiting these places was most often for those really interested in it or just being courious.
With the advent of internet its readily acessable and just takes a click to view it. Once viewed often causes more interest. If this is just a causual viewing i dont think its any big issue but if a person is constantly downloading it, would be something to be concerned about.
From what you describe its just a passing fancy and would not mention it to him.
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Is this just a one time deal?  Or does it appear he has been doing this more than once?  

What are your ages?

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I agree with above.  Just looking at porn occasionally is not something to become upset about in  my opinion.  I think going through his phone might be more of a boundary issue to be honest.

If you want to explore what he is getting out of porn, then talk to him about porn in general.  Just casually bring it up without mentioning what you saw to discuss his general feelings on it.  Then you can express yours and mention that you notice he seems to have a lower sex drive than you and sometimes it bothers you.

sweetie, I must say though, that difference in sex drive might get a bit worse as time goes on.  If you haven't been together that long and it is already like that, then this is not a great sign if you find sex with your partner to be a really big part of a relationship.  

the difference between porn and sex is that porn is not intimate, requires little effort and you don't have to snuggle after but can just go about your business.  Ya know what I mean?  It's not like making love to your partner.  So porn might be easier for him from time to time.  Does that make sense?  Sex is always better but takes much more effort.  

Anyway, I'd just talk to him and see what he says without mentioning what you found.  good luck
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