I hate my fiancés family

[MzMagoo67]

With my fiancé for 2.5 years.  I really don't see eye to eye with his family.  They are very materialistic and haughty.  This is sorta a deal breaker for me.  I don't like the way I've been treated.  I read a very insightful article by Dear Wendy ( http://dearwendy.com/i-hate-spending-time-with-my-boyfriends-friends-and-family/ ).  
I love his friends they are great.  But when it comes to his family they are just very judgemental.  One point I was being made fun of because I have big boobs and I'm petite... Meanwhile they're all 300 lbs with HUGE a$$es.  I wasn't judging before I heard what they say about me behind my back. Now I'm judging lol!  I honestly just want to get to know them but they're just so super self absorbed. I've tried for 2 years. I really don't care to get to know them anymore I'm honestly sick of trying to penetrate their shallow personalities. It would be nice to build a relationship and I've reached out but no response so I'm not trying no more.

[Londres70]

"This is sorta a deal breaker for me".............Your OWN words.

[Londres70]

Well, of course it is easier said that done.  Sometimes it is like that in life.  

If you stay you are putting yourself in a contant position of chaos and turmoil in regards to his family.  Also, it isn't an ideal situation for your fiancé to deal with.  Over time the situation would just turn into a abyss of negativity; drama back and forth.

You are already hating his family.  How do you think you will feel after years of dealing with them?  

Don't stay thinking they will change and/or the situation will change.

I am not giving advice based on if it will be "easy," but based on what will probably benefit the poster in the long time.  

[MzMagoo67]

I appreciate all of your advice but it's hard when you love someone. It's easier said than done lol

[AnnieBrooke]

I really do encourage you to take the step you mentioned in your journal, and end the relationship.  It is no fun living for years and years in a marriage where his family will always be a bone of contention because you don't get along with them.  Walk while you can.

[Londres70]

If you are at the point of "hate" you really NEED to leave hon.

[Londres70]

I was under the impression that you were already married since you mentioned something about sister-in-laws in your other post.

If you aren't married yet I think you should let this one go.  There is way TOO much tension and drama to continue this.  

Then when he goes and visits his family you become upset.  Hon, this is HIS family and he should be allowed to see them.  I would never suggest someone cut their family off........that would have to be his choice.  You don't have to see them, but then again it isn't your family.  Thank goodness children aren't involved because then the situation would be terrible.

Highly suggest you think about leaving this behind you.

[specialmom]

Oh, and I also saw your journal yesterday.  Your boyfriend hurt you by deciding to be with his family. This is how it will always be because you and his family do not get along.  he will have to be with them sometimes and will leave you to do this.  What will that be like if you were to have children (please use reliable birth control until you know if this relationship is a keeper or will work out)?  And he will leave his family when he is with you.  this is what happens when someone's significant other and family do not like each other.  It stinks because I'm sure you tried early on--  but now there is animosity all the way around and this just makes for a stinky family life.  

It really may be a good idea to move on in your life as you were suggesting in your journal.  good luck

[specialmom]

Agree with Anniebrooke.  And sadly, it sounds like you've developed as much an attitude about them as they have you.  

It's really hard when a family can't get along.  I wish they were nicer and you were happier.

But we can wish all day and that doesn't make it happen.  If there is nothing you can think of that will make it happen---  then I'm not sure this is a good relationship to maintain.  

good luck

[AnnieBrooke]

It does not sound, from your other posts and this one, like this is going to get any better.  I'd make plans to leave on this basis, there is no reason to marry someone if you can't handle social events and interactions with his family, because they are not going to dry up and blow away and if he is a good son he will not cut them for you.  Sorry.