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Avatar universal

I know I'm doing the right thing but it feels so wrong

So me and the father of my child broke up and I kicked him out bec I caught him cheating and doing drugs he has no where else to go and always depended on me but he was never home didn't spend time with me and was doing those things. He is making me feel so guilty about him not having anywhere to go and that I'm ruining our family basically everything is my fault. I just feel so sad all the time bec I wanted my family together but he went and cheated and is or was doing drugs and I'm not putting up with that this isn't the first time he's done this to me either. Has anyone else been in this situation where they had to make a hard decision even if it hurts? Please help ladies
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Avatar universal
Thank you so much everyone. What you guys have said is everything I think even tho it's hard bec I do love him but there comes a point where enough is enough. And this little girl is what I keep on my mind because I want her safe. If he gets clean and steps up then we can go from there but for now I gotta keep my foot down this time. It's nice to hear that I'm not alone in this situation and there can be wonderful outcomes even if I'm not with him
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Oh, and as to your question.  yes.  I did walk away from someone that abused alcohol and drugs.  I loved him very much but it was not the life I wanted.  I put myself above 'that' and moved on.  I do not regret it for a second.  peace
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
HI there.  Well, I'm really sorry you are going through this.  Sounds rough and extra difficult because you are expecting his child.

But, you know what must be done.  Indeed, he has lost his 'right' to be with you when he cheated and by doing drugs, he makes himself an unsafe partner.  Not someone you want around your baby.

Please don't allow him to 'guilt' him into taking him back.  His not having anywhere to go is a reflection of HIS choices in life.  He's not financially self sufficient to get his own place, he's damaged relationships and he isn't worthy to be with you anymore.  That is all his doing.

So stay strong.  Hope he gets clean.  Until he does, protect your baby from him.  wishing you lots of luck as I'm sure this is really hard.  peace
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Avatar universal
To me, he sounds like a user. Not just of drugs, but people as well, and that's what they do. Try to make you feel guilty so they can get the result they want. You did the right thing by dismissing him from your life. You definitely don't need that stress, and sounds like he's already proven what he's really about! Stay strong momma!
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Avatar universal
Don't let him make you feel bad. If he really loved or cared about u he wouldn't have cheated or been doing drugs. He would have been stepping up as a man to help his family. Yes it's going to hurt because you love him but love doesn't pay bills or helps with the baby. And since this isn't the first time that it happened he is always going to keep doing it because u allow him to come back everytime. Sounds like he is using you kinda. If he really loved u and his family he would have got his stuff together. I was in a relationship with a older man who has been to jail 31 times and always cheated on me did drugs. Never had a place to go. He never changed. So I had to get rid of him to help me and my baby now I'm engaged to man who loves me and accepts my child as his own. And life is great. It's not going to be easy trust me but it's worth it in the end
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Avatar universal
I haven't gone through this situation, but don't let him make you feel bad. He is the one who messed up, not you. And i promise, i am not trying to be rude, it's just the fact that i have seen so many couples go through similar situations. Nobody should have to go through that.
Helpful - 0
9842459 tn?1411688168
Well for one its not your responsibility to house him if he wants to act like a child. I might sound heartless but maybe living on the streets or going from house to house might teach him a lesson. Just hang in there and you just worry about your baby :)
Helpful - 0
10206952 tn?1408930334
No hun that was a good reason you don't want him doing the drugs when your child come into the world.  And plus once he's already have been doing it cheating and drugs he's gonna keep doing it. Wish u best of luck hun keep ur  head up
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