I know what I NEED to do, but I'm scared

[bibigirl12_10]

I have been with my boyfriend on and off for the past 3 years, I do love him very much but I can see he is just really controlling and he uses his religion (mormon) to back that up. I am catholic and I know that things will be very difficult if we decide to get more serious and get married. We talk about our future all the time, and it's a nice future but lately I have been distancing myself from him. I am scared to break up with him because he told me he will make my life a living hell if I do break up with him. I am starting my freshman year in college this wednesday and have been texting some new friends they are girls, and he got really mad that I was texting them. I hate that because he is always with his friends, texting them, on the phone with them but when I hang out with my friends and don't tell him about it he gets really upset and I hate it. I really don't think I want to be with him anymore, I really do love him, but I'm scared to break up with him because he threatened to make my life hell. I need some advice.

[brice1967]

This fellow has a bit of a control issue, it seems.  (I'm no doctor, so that is just an opinion.) A couple of things pop into mind regarding your post.  First, let's look at the control itself.  Seems to me that people with control issues are often the most out of control.  Also, controlling people seem to be really needy.... hence the control by not allowing you to see your friends or voicing his discontent regarding your friends.  I would suggest that this person has been under total control for his entire life, either at home, school, or perhaps even his religion.

Secondly, you say you know what you need to do.  You are very young.  I do not see how this guy being controlling is going to benefit you, ever.  Relationships are 2 way roads and they only work when both participate.  I'm not saying he can't turn this behavior around, but I am wondering why would you want to take the chance?  This is the perfect time in life to just let things happen.  Be involved with your schooling and take care of that, and just let everything else evolve with YOUR control.

[TwinkyFru]

Yup move on pls he will never change

[sweetpea03]

I would suggest you talk to a close friend and your family about this and have them as your back up, for someone to stand by your side after the breakup. If you need to, you can get a restraining order against him if he becomes violent or keeps threatening you. I would suggest that you change your phone number, block him on any social networking site, and/or anything else to make sure he stays away from you and can't contact you by any means. He has very controlling behaviors which is a big red flag and I am glad you are noticing that. It's not ok behavior to accept from a guy. I hope it all goes well for you.

[Kayannaboo]

Do not allow urself to be bullied by this man and acting scared will actually drive him to intimidate some more. Do what you know is best for you. You are young and you need to have your head on your shoulders tight, don't let others think for you. Relationships are 50/50 I do not know what era this man is from but it's the 21st century and women have a choice now. If he tries to harm or threaten you in anyway do not miss a beat calling the police also communicate your fears with ur family and close friends so that they know what is going on. You are at a point where you ought to be in control of your own life someone telling u when to text and whom to text is not what u need right now.