Aa
I live with my boyfriend and it's so hard to leave.
I really hope someone can help me...
Well I have been with my boyfriend for more than two years, we met in high school and after I graduated from high school we had planned we I was going to move in with him. So i did, in 2008 i came to live to utah with him. Just last night I went into his e-mail to get a code i needed, and so being the insecure person i am i snooped around throuh his e-mails and found that he bought a 95 dollar membership to a porn website.I had a previous problem with him about having actresses and porn girls on his desktop because i've always had a problem with my body and so i told him and he said i just had to deal with it..I don't know how to confront him about the por situation..but that not all i also found that he had pictures of this girl that was his friend for a long time and she liked him, he says he didn't like her in that way. but anyway he had sent two pictures of her to his friend. The problem that i have with his girl is that into living with him about 5 months i saw a text where he was telling her that if it didnt workout between me and him they would end up together, I cried so much and asked why he would do that. He said he was sorry and he was just confused because since i was stresses out and had a lot going on i didn't pay much attention to him, and so he said he just began talking to her. Another problem i have is that currectly I have to no job, im taking online classes, I don't have many friends here, but theres a few I do go out with like one or two times every month or so... My boyfriend comes home and calls up his best friend and play computer games all night sometimes..I told him i felt alone and felt like i had to compete with his friend for attention. he tell me he won't change that's how he is. But after he said he wouldn't change, he started spending more quality time with me..It's very confusing he says one thing and does another, he just bought me an engagment ring and he said he wanted to be with me forever. The first couple of months we were together he would tell me he would never leave me if we would break up it would be because I would end it. That has always been on my mind, I feel like he wants to keep his word, but trying to drive me to break it up, making me put up with things that hurt me.I am so confused, everyone tells me to leave, others to wait a little and talk to him , but if i can't talk to him what am i to do? Ive considered some counseling for us and he says no because we are not disfunctional. Am i the one that need counseling for my insecurities?? I am also feeling like hes tired of me even though he says that he hasent and won't. This is his first long term relationship, he was a stud i guess you can say before he was with me. He slept with over one hundred girls and wouldn't last more than a month. He said he did everything he wanted to do and was over it, so he moved out here to change his life. He works full time and comes straight home to me. I don't know what I really need to do? Am i the one that needs counseling.?
Well I have been with my boyfriend for more than two years, we met in high school and after I graduated from high school we had planned we I was going to move in with him. So i did, in 2008 i came to live to utah with him. Just last night I went into his e-mail to get a code i needed, and so being the insecure person i am i snooped around throuh his e-mails and found that he bought a 95 dollar membership to a porn website.I had a previous problem with him about having actresses and porn girls on his desktop because i've always had a problem with my body and so i told him and he said i just had to deal with it..I don't know how to confront him about the por situation..but that not all i also found that he had pictures of this girl that was his friend for a long time and she liked him, he says he didn't like her in that way. but anyway he had sent two pictures of her to his friend. The problem that i have with his girl is that into living with him about 5 months i saw a text where he was telling her that if it didnt workout between me and him they would end up together, I cried so much and asked why he would do that. He said he was sorry and he was just confused because since i was stresses out and had a lot going on i didn't pay much attention to him, and so he said he just began talking to her. Another problem i have is that currectly I have to no job, im taking online classes, I don't have many friends here, but theres a few I do go out with like one or two times every month or so... My boyfriend comes home and calls up his best friend and play computer games all night sometimes..I told him i felt alone and felt like i had to compete with his friend for attention. he tell me he won't change that's how he is. But after he said he wouldn't change, he started spending more quality time with me..It's very confusing he says one thing and does another, he just bought me an engagment ring and he said he wanted to be with me forever. The first couple of months we were together he would tell me he would never leave me if we would break up it would be because I would end it. That has always been on my mind, I feel like he wants to keep his word, but trying to drive me to break it up, making me put up with things that hurt me.I am so confused, everyone tells me to leave, others to wait a little and talk to him , but if i can't talk to him what am i to do? Ive considered some counseling for us and he says no because we are not disfunctional. Am i the one that need counseling for my insecurities?? I am also feeling like hes tired of me even though he says that he hasent and won't. This is his first long term relationship, he was a stud i guess you can say before he was with me. He slept with over one hundred girls and wouldn't last more than a month. He said he did everything he wanted to do and was over it, so he moved out here to change his life. He works full time and comes straight home to me. I don't know what I really need to do? Am i the one that needs counseling.?
I agree with jo I think if he wants you forever you should get married, if he baulks maybe he is just using you.
Why have you waited so long to tie the knot is there some reson some concern you have i would sit down and find out just how he feels and i would also think how i felt and then you both should either get married or get apart living together is not good he has his cake and eats it also luck jo
I am not sure what else you want him to do to show that he is committed? He works, he comes home straight after work, you asked him for more attention and he started to spend more time with you, he even bought you an engagement ring…
However, it’s not really clear how your relationship is overall. So I cant say for sure what is the right thing to do here.
Also, he might watch porn on occasion and put famous women on his desktop, but neither of those has a reflection on how he feels about you. No self respecting guy would date a porn star and they don’t usually expect their girls to act like porn stars (well some do, but those are not exactly “regular guys”). I guess I fall into the category of girls that are not threatened or feel disrespected by porn. But I would be very offended and mad if I found out my bf is promising some girl that they will be together if things don’t work out with us, that would be grounds to leave. I don’t care what his reason for that kind of txt msging is, I would deal with that.
I think you should get help, not with your relationship, but for your sake, to help you with self esteem and body image issues. That is the most important thing for you right now. If this relationship doesn’t work out, oh well, you are young and there will be plenty more.
Concentrate on yourself and on your personal happiness.
Good luck.
However, it’s not really clear how your relationship is overall. So I cant say for sure what is the right thing to do here.
Also, he might watch porn on occasion and put famous women on his desktop, but neither of those has a reflection on how he feels about you. No self respecting guy would date a porn star and they don’t usually expect their girls to act like porn stars (well some do, but those are not exactly “regular guys”). I guess I fall into the category of girls that are not threatened or feel disrespected by porn. But I would be very offended and mad if I found out my bf is promising some girl that they will be together if things don’t work out with us, that would be grounds to leave. I don’t care what his reason for that kind of txt msging is, I would deal with that.
I think you should get help, not with your relationship, but for your sake, to help you with self esteem and body image issues. That is the most important thing for you right now. If this relationship doesn’t work out, oh well, you are young and there will be plenty more.
Concentrate on yourself and on your personal happiness.
Good luck.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
