"I love you.."

My friend and her boyfriend has been together for almost 7 months now and she wants to know why he hasn't said "I love you" yet.. she has asked for my advice, but I don't happen to know the right answer to that as well. I've told her that it's probably because he's not ready yet, or maybe just because of something else. And lately, it has kind of been bothering her. Especially me, because I don't know what else to tell her. He and her had already had intercourse already, and she has strong feelings for him. The both of them do believe that they'll last a long time. I believe that she is happy whenever she is with him. And I really do see that she has changed, but in a very good way. She's a better person now and she's more happy with him. I know for sure that he is the right one for him as well. He's honest and sweet to her. And I would love to see her that way forever. But for now, would someone please help me advice this friend of mine? I would really appreciate it. :)

[specialmom]

Or 3.  He may be taking the phrase very seriously and feels that he must be absolutely sure before he says it.  

(thought I'd add to rockrose's list).

Ya know, some people also didn't grow up in demonstrative homes in which saying I love you happened a lot.  So, it is a BIG deal to say it and it doesn't roll of their tongue.  

The man I married didn't say he loved me until about 10 months into our dating.  We casually dated the first few months, then got more serious, then even more serious and he said it.  For him it was a huge thing to tell a woman he loved her.  

What is he like as a husband-----------  he tells me he loves me every day. He tells our kids that he loves them.  He is affectionate.  


I don't know if that helps but thought I'd share my experience.  Hope it works out for them.

[RockRose]

Either:

1.  he doesn't love her
2.  he does love her but is incapable of that kind of intimate caring conversation although physical intimacy comes easy for him

[specialmom]

Or 3.  He may be taking the phrase very seriously and feels that he must be absolutely sure before he says it.  

(thought I'd add to rockrose's list).

Ya know, some people also didn't grow up in demonstrative homes in which saying I love you happened a lot.  So, it is a BIG deal to say it and it doesn't roll of their tongue.  

The man I married didn't say he loved me until about 10 months into our dating.  We casually dated the first few months, then got more serious, then even more serious and he said it.  For him it was a huge thing to tell a woman he loved her.  

What is he like as a husband-----------  he tells me he loves me every day. He tells our kids that he loves them.  He is affectionate.  


I don't know if that helps but thought I'd share my experience.  Hope it works out for them.

[mindy1977]

honestly, the phrase is overused and abused.  You should tell your friend that it would be better to hear it when it's for sure that it's meant than because of some "obligation".  Once it is said once, then there is an obligation to keep saying it.  You want to know that first time is true and seriously, I don't know how many times these days that happens.

Every girl wants to hear that, I know I did.  Has she said it to him?  What was his response?  I know that is kind of putting him on the spot, but it's a really good way to see what his reaction is.  

I told my now fiance (we've been together 8+ years) that I loved him (this was in the beginning of our relationship) and I got nothing.  He ended up telling me that he cared about me a lot, but he didn't want to tell me he loved me unless he knew for sure.  At the time I was devastated, but today, I'm glad he did it that way because when he finally did tell me that he loved me, it meant that much more.

I wish your friend the best of luck and I hope she doesn't let this be a deal breaker; at least talk about it first.

[seattlemom2plus]

They obviously take the words very seriously as sometimes so few people do :(  I remember personally steering clear from first dates telling me they "love me" when in fact they didn't know too much about me to start with.  Some people are just in love with the idea of being in love and not the person.  So consider this a good sign in their relationship that the person is actually taking time to say it.  I am sure it will be worth the wait :D