I 'm so torn . HELP !!!!!!!!

[beautychiQ]

I recently found out that I was 5 weeks pregnant about a week ago and my ex boyfriend broke up with me and told me he doesn’t want a girlfriend right now . Ok , Big deal it bothers me but what am I suppose to do . Then later he tells me he doesn’t trust me and he wants me to be with him everyday and still wants to have sex with me . I tell him hell no if you don’t want to be with me then there will be none of that . He gets upset with me and etc . I do want us to be cool because we are having a child together because even though were not together I do want him to be there for everything . So his now upset with me because he feels as though that I don’t want to be around him and I’m telling him you don’t want to be with me so why would I want to hang out with someone that only wants to play mind games and if you don’t want me then someone else will . So we got into a huge argument and now I’m torn with keeping my child and or getting an abortion because there is no respect and its very dysfunctional between us and I think having a child will only make it worse . I’m so confused and torn between us being cool but he just doesn’t get it . I know that I’ve said things to him that wasn’t accepted but I was hurt .

[Beccabb]

I don't think you should have anything to do with him! - as for carrying his baby although I'm against abortion if you feel thats right for you, wish u all the best with that. As for all this adoption stuff people are throwing at you if you decide that also I think that's equally as hard so both are alot to think about.

[sweetpea03]

Whether you decide to keep this baby or not, I think you need to absolutely stay away from this guy. He is no good and will only bring you down. Have some self respect and stay away from him. Don't allow yourself to be played with by him, you are better than that.

Also, if you do not want the baby, then adoption is a great alternative. You can give your baby up to a 2 parent family who is ready for a child and really wants a child. I've seen adoption from both sides and it is really a great thing. My aunt adopted 2 babies because she could not get pregnant and it allowed her to be a mother when otherwise that would not be a possibility. My cousin got pregnant at 16 and gave her baby up for adoption to a woman who really wanted a baby. She has an open adoption and keeps in touch with the family to see how her daughter is doing. It's a very selfless thing to do.

[Lola_mama]

It definitely sounds like you need to move away from this guy if he's treating you this way. You deserve better! From the way you describe your situation, I sounds like you don't believe that raising a child is the best idea for you right now either, and that's ok. It is a sad situation, and one that I'm sure you did not want to be in, but you need to do what is best for yourself, and think about the child that you'd potentially be bringing into the world. I got pregnant at 15yo and looked at all the different options, but decided on giving it up for adoption. Well, by the time I was 8mos pregnant, I found myself terrified about this thought, and so did my mom and the baby's father's mom, so we ended up keeping her. She is 10th now, and I'm so happy I kept her, but it was not easy!! I know that I missed out on a lot of things I had planned to do in my life, and since her dad and I weren't really in love to begin w/ we ended up going our separate ways and she now has to fly across the country every time she wants to spend time w/ him. I am saying all this b/c I want YOU to make your own choices about this! It's easy for others to tell you how great adoption is, and how you're "killing your baby" (what a disgusting remark from that person!), but I wonder how many of those people actually gave birth to a child and then handed it over for complete strangers to raise! I'm just saying, it's a nice thought in theory, and one that some women are able to follow through w/, but it may not be right for you. Consider everything. Look into your options, and then make the choice you feel is best for YOU! Not the choice everyone else says is right for you. If abortion sounds like the most reasonable way for you to go, then do that, and try to move on from it. Going through an abortion is no picnic! You will go through pain and heartbreak over it, but try to learn from it, and be more careful in the future. Follow your heart, and do what's right for yourself and your life. Good luck to you! ; )

[Lola_mama]

It definitely sounds like you need to move away from this guy if he's treating you this way. You deserve better! From the way you describe your situation, I sounds like you don't believe that raising a child is the best idea for you right now either, and that's ok. It is a sad situation, and one that I'm sure you did not want to be in, but you need to do what is best for yourself, and think about the child that you'd potentially be bringing into the world. I got pregnant at 15yo and looked at all the different options, but decided on giving it up for adoption. Well, by the time I was 8mos pregnant, I found myself terrified about this thought, and so did my mom and the baby's father's mom, so we ended up keeping her. She is 10th now, and I'm so happy I kept her, but it was not easy!! I know that I missed out on a lot of things I had planned to do in my life, and since her dad and I weren't really in love to begin w/ we ended up going our separate ways and she now has to fly across the country every time she wants to spend time w/ him. I am saying all this b/c I want YOU to make your own choices about this! It's easy for others to tell you how great adoption is, and how you're "killing your baby" (what a disgusting remark from that person!), but I wonder how many of those people actually gave birth to a child and then handed it over for complete strangers to raise! I'm just saying, it's a nice thought in theory, and one that some women are able to follow through w/, but it may not be right for you. Consider everything. Look into your options, and then make the choice you feel is best for YOU! Not the choice everyone else says is right for you. If abortion sounds like the most reasonable way for you to go, then do that, and try to move on from it. Going through an abortion is no picnic! You will go through pain and heartbreak over it, but try to learn from it, and be more careful in the future. Follow your heart, and do what's right for yourself and your life. Good luck to you! ; )

[specialmom]

Oh, and I did want to add from how you describe the ex, he does not sound like a man that I'd want to be with.  There is a lack of connection to you that seems clear and puts him a position of pushing and pulling you whenever he feels like it.  This is not healthy at all and not something you should want any part of.  And as you are now with child, you need to be strong emotionally and take care of yourself to not want to be part of that either.  I'm dead serious about this.  He is no good and you should steer clear of him.  good luck

[specialmom]

Well, I am sure this is very difficult for you.  You are newly pregnant which creates lots of emotions on its own and then to have such relationship trouble on top of that is very hard.  I too am a huge fan of adoption for many reasons and am glad this is something you are open to.  Being pregnant is actually the easy part of having a baby.  Once they get here------------  well, life goes into overdrive.  I don't know how old you are, if you have people in your life besides your ex that can help be supportive to you, where you live, if you work so that you'd have money to live and raise the baby, etc.  I know none of that.  If you are having a child------------- those are the things that time must be spent figuring out.  Those are the things that will impact the baby.  Hopefully if you keep the baby, the father would give money, be a part of the baby's life, etc.-----------  but you need to focus on what you can count on for sure.  So, forget about the guy and just think about your pregnancy and what your plans are.  This is my best advice to you.

And again, adoption is always available as an option.  I think it is wonderful at times for someone to choose adoption if having a child is too much.  I am proud of you for considering it.  Blessings and peace to you.  

[unknown_101]

I feel like you guys are being very rude . It's obvious she in need of advice not to be beaten up with your words . I can't tell you what you should do but you do need to think everything through .  Your upset with her for getting pregnant when it's obvious she and this guy were in a relationship . We only know half of the story so don't judge . How doesn't she have any self respect ?

[teko]

From what has been written here, I am thinking neither of you are ready to be parents and the baby needs reliable parents. I will not tell you what to do one way or the other, but I will tell you this. They have birth control options for a reason, and they are free in many places. Do yourselves a favor and get on some. A child should be a little bit more than a careless mistake and the last one to pay for one too. Lots of good moms and dads out there crying themselves to sleep each night because they cannot have a child, just a thought.

[brice1967]

First off, wanting to be cool with him is noble, but ridiculous!  He doesn't want you to have a life, but he wants to go out and do whatever he wants, then be able to come screw you whenever????  

You've got options when it comes to what to do with the child, but in my opinion, you've got no options with this dude.... get away from him at all costs.  Get some self respect and move on with life away from this ****.

[penswriter]

you're pregnant...an abortion would kill the baby. adoption would allow a childless couple the joy of having a baby.

[beautychiQ]

What do you mean by killing my child ?

[penswriter]

I agree with Rockrose..adoption is an option instead of killing your child.

[beautychiQ]

I agree . I just want to make sure I make the right decision . Because I have no problem with being mature but with him it's not like that . In a situation such as a child we can't just say screw you I'm moving on . Be like this toward one another .

[RockRose]

Adoption is another option to consider.  I agree with you,   the two of you are not ready to parent.