I need advice★★★

[Tanairi4]

I been with my bf for a year and 7 months he accepted me with my three kIds he always gets us what we need we live together he does steps up as a father for my kids on Christmas I had a miscarriage we took care of each other for a month the doctor says I got preg on February I didn't know on march he left me one day later I find out im pregnant I begged him back it took a month we are together now but few weeks back I find out he was cheating since Feb.  The girl says they seen each other he first said one time to meet her then he sAys never that he did it cause I didn't trust him I would tell him if he was cheating and pushing him to that but we stayed together cause I had no were to gobut it's not the same anymore I feel different I can't trust him cause idk how he did it cause we are always together he only lives to work. Should I trust him or keep being with him

[specialmom]

I have a thought.  He may really also want this to work.  If he had a fling and it is over and he is now trying to commit to you, he may realize he has a child on the way.  You describe him as a good guy leading up to this and perhaps he is willing to work on things.  But communication is key to know if he is coming from a place that is positive.  If so, really, couples can accomplish anything in terms of reconciling and fixing issues.  

But still make sure you work on your education and own independence.  peace and luck to you sweetie

[specialmom]

Hi there.  I am really sorry to hear this!!  Sounds like a very hard time for you.  

I do hate when a woman needs a man to take care of her and that factors into decisions to be together.  You owe it to yourself and your kids to get into a better situation in life so that being with a man isn't your only way of staying afloat and having a place to live.

Take the government grant money and go to school, trade school, college.  Find something you want to do for a job and prepare yourself to do it so that you never have to be dependent on someone like this again.  Again, there are grant that pay for these things for people in need.  it's totally worth the pain in the butt to do it now for the benefit down the road!!  

I honestly don't know what will happen with you and this guy.  If you feel he cheated but are still willing to be with him, then you need to put the cheating aside and not bring it up (if you think it is over).  If he is currently still cheating, I'm just not sure you should stick around hon.  That's too much to ask . . .   just for a place to stay to be with a man that sleeps with someone else.  Not worth it.  But if you want to just let the idea that he cheated go (as he doesn't admit it), then give it a try.  But don't keep bringing it up and such.  

Be very aware of the situation. That he wanted to go and came back because you are expecting.  That is valuable insight that your relationship needs serious work to last.  Start talking about what would make the two of you happier.  What the problems are . ..  talk to them and compromise. Work on the foundation to patch it and make it stronger.

But go to school or job training as soon as possible so that if this does fall apart, you'll be fine.  It will also help you to not be so desperate for financial care from a man in terms of the dynamics of being with them.  A man can start to feel like that is all a woman wants from them when it is so unbalanced like this.  

good luck dear

[Mochadelicious]

You have to decide for yourself if you think you can really fully trust him again.  Only you know your own heart.  Statistically, the odds are against him as most people who cheat once will eventually do it again.  Trust is the basis of any relationship, and without it you don't have much.  

My question to you is why settle for this guy?  Is it because of the baby and the other kids?  There are plenty of single moms out there that are making it work.  You can too.  It's not ideal, but sometimes being single and happy is better than being in a relationship that's miserable, especially when raising children.