Ok so I have been with my fiance for 4years now, we were highschool sweet hearts and best friends through middle school; we have a lot of history together. The way I feel about him is indescribable, I mean if there is a thing as soul mates that's what we are our minds are so in sync. On an emotional and mental level we are so perfect. This is where I'm getting to part of my problem I am not physically attracted to him at all and I have never, outside my own masturbation, had an orgasm. Sex just isn't anything to be excited about with him... and I am perfectly fine with that. Sex has never been something that's important to me; I know I'm a weird 20yr old girl. Now onto the second part of my problem... So I used to work in a kitchen and we there was a new sou chef we instantly became great friends he's like my guy/gal pal and from the first time I saw him I just wanted to push him into the walkin and take him down right there, my attraction to him isn't just a fling type sex its a gutteral primal feeling a deep burning in your stomach... I thought about pursuing it but let it go when I found out he was getting married soon, you know that's just mean to steal another girls guy and I just assumed he never felt that way. Well he lives 3hrs away from me now so we chat on the internet all the time so the other night we were talking and I just decided that I would admit my feelings to him because I feel too much sexual tension whenever I see him and talk to him and I've just been holding it inside me for too long. Well it turns out that he felt the same way like an everyday daydream about bending the hot little pastry chef over the pantry table but he wouldn't act on those urges because he loves his wife. and so we talked until 3am about this and how strong the urges are... I could barely contain myself. So it's not that I want to love and be with this guy, I don't want to leave my guy for another, and he doesn't want to leave his wife. I just need to quell this storm that has been roiling inside me and he feels the same way. I am so confused I've never felt this way about anyone or anything--I just don't get aroused. I feel like I need to experience this just once god why do I have to have such conflicting feelings :(
you are playing with fire my girl, he is married and i imagine that his wife loves him very much, and just think what that would make you. if you do not have sex feelings for your fiance he is not the one you should choose for life, you need someone to love and cherish and have a family with leave this man alone they will tell you anything to get what they want and then it is over, and how will you feel, i can tell you now you will feel cheap and easy and sorry, you are hurting to many people luck jo
It's okay to acknowledge that these feelings exist. And, you do right in admitting
that acting on these feelings would be wrong... for both of you.
Analyze the thoughts... observe the feelings... and, let your conscience be your guide.
You are not with the right person, for you to look at a long term relationship with such as marriage. Keep the friendship and move on and continue to look for someone unattached that will stir that same fire within you and you will not have another storm, called consequences of getting involved with another womans man. The guilt, jealousy and all that comes as a result is too high a price to pay for quelling that fire. No matter what, stay true to yourself and do not allow yourself to be second best or used goods for anyone. Especially a man who has pledged his love to another.
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