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I need help!

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now. I don't know what to do. I love him so much. But he is making it very difficult for me to stay around. He plays Xbox continuously, unless I lose my mind and go insane and he'll spend an hour or so with me watching tv. As that is all he ever wants to do. He can't watch tv for long periods cause he passes out. He doesn't like spending time in bed just to talk, he has never been a really intimate one. In the beginning of course. But maybe 3-5 months in it started to fade. I just need to know if this is normal.. He doesn't have sex with me... Often. It's been almost three months since I have had a full out good time with him. In the three months though we maybe had sex 5 times and Only to his satisfaction in himself. Ever since I'd say.. Christmas 2011 I'd say he really tries to avoid the holiday stuff yet it means everything to me. His birthday came around, when we were on a tight budget and I made his birthday very special for me. My birthday came ten days later. And he never got me anything. No card. No nothing. I told him if he could just write on a pizza box with something special on it wrote from the heart that's all I would need... Well. Valentines day came around two weeks ago now. And he gets me a teddy bear and a card, where's the problem? He never wrote in the card. It has been 10 days now. He told me he wants it to be very special when he decided to write in it. Eveytine I try and kiss him he will give me a quick peck and push me away. I'm starting to get really self conscious. And feel like im not pretty in his eyes anymore. Hes a really outgoing guy and knows mechanics, so Everytime someone strikes his way hell go and talk with en for ever while I sit in the car. It just frustrates me. Cause these strangers get more attention from him then I do.. Yesterday we went to the mall and we ran into one of his old friend that was a woman. And he didn't even bother to introduce me to her.. I always ask why he chooses to be with me and he says I have a good heart...  He works from 7-4pm everyday, and sometimes will be home at 7pm due to a busy day.. I want to believe him.. But I just don't know anymore. Last Friday the day after valentines day, one of his buddies called and needed him to pick up something because his friends were drunk. My boyfriend told me he would be home in an hour. Well an hour and a half went by, and then two.. Three.. Four.. Five and half hours. Walks through the door at 4:30 in the morning completely intoxicated on drugs. I was so mortified that he went an did drugs behind my back and ignored my texts all night... He never wants to see my family, and says he would feel uncomfortable.. He has only met my dads side, once. And he doesn't plan to see them again. What do I do. There's so much more. Thats a brief summary of everything.. There are good things to him too..
8 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
.......and You love Him why??
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He's there when I need him..
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4197433_tn?1365469924
So sorry to hear whats happening to you.
How old are you? if you mind me asking.
I'm 17 & been with my 19y/o bf for 3 years. No we dont live together .
Maybe since you guys live together , he might just want some time by himself for once cause he sees you everyday.
I remember when me & my bf got together, he was so lovey dovey. He use to buy me things, pay alot of attention to me, be with me 24/7 , but i had opposite feelings. I liked him, but had cheated on him numerous times. I haven't done it in 2 years now & i feel great. I felt in love with him, while he was hurt & his lovey dovey side went away. We still & always have had great sex. We still talk lovey dovey sometimes, but the going out alot went away. I feel like he doesnt like seeing me. We recently almost broke up cause i was being really controlling on him going out with his friends. He said he didnt wanna be with me if i was gonna keep acting like that. So i agreed that i would let him have space & i would let him.be with friends, but that it better not be a regular thing to when he doesnt see me. I get worried with him being out cause he likes drinking. Especially with his best friend. He says i should trust him & that if he does drink, he'll tell me. So i agreed.
Maybe you guys should go out. Go out to eat, the movies, bowling, etc..
Me & my bf also thought going out like we used to , can bring that spark back up again like when we first got together.
Maybe talk about the times you guys had in the past. The happy moments. Go to the place you guys met or had a first kiss . Maybe that'll help.
I'm preety sure if he didn't love you, he'll probably leave you. I tell my bf the same thing. Like "do you still love me? Do you still wanna be with me?" & he answers "of course. If i didnt, i wouldve been left you "
Thats just how maybe your bf is.. Ask him those questions.
Good luck :)
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973741_tn?1342346373
Hi there. Well,  in all honesty, saying he is there when you need him doesn't sound quite true from what you describe.  He sounds very self absorbed.  

Here is why we date-------  to decide if someone is a good match for us!  

You two sound completely incompatible (and be thankful for that because his habits sound quite undesirable---  be glad you don't sit and play video games for hours until the person you are with feels kooku or that you want no emotional intimacy in the form of talking and connecting).  

There is a whole world out there waiting for you in which you can fully be with someone that is like you.  That wants to connect on an adult level, a deep level.  

I could go through your post piece by piece and tell you what is wrong with this picture but will cut to the chase,   You deserve to be happy and to be with a partner that is looking for the same things in life you are, is sexually compatible with you, that wants to talk and connect and be close.  And it would be nice if you were with someone who enjoyed doing some of the things you enjoyed doing.  Hang in there and make a change for a better match for yourself.  good luck
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Avatar_f_tn
I am 21 and he is 33 years old. An this is where it sets me off. This is my first time being with an older man, and I honestly thought they would be more mature. It troubles me knowing a video game can get more attention then me... I have left him once.. Actually just after I read special moms comment to one of my previous issues. And I went back to him. Why do I keep going through this and making it harder on me?
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973741_tn?1342346373
That is a great question for yourself.  I'd have guessed he was younger from the way you describe him.  He's 33?  

Sweetie, you can do better than this in a partner.   No partner is better than one who puts you second to a video game.  Hold out for someone worthy of you.  

good luck
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1268057_tn?1379102055
"He's there when I need him.."........hon, I got NO indication from your posts that he is "there" for you.  

"Why do I keep going through this and making it harder on me?"........that is the 1000 question.  Hon, you need to let this relationship go and try to figure this out on your OWN.  

This is NOTHING good for you.  

All the best.
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4197433_tn?1365469924
33 years old & acting like that?!
I dont understand then. It does sound like he's immature. Not all older guys are mature.
It'll be better if you just leave him . You deserve better.
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