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I still resent my boyfriend because of the past
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I still resent my boyfriend because of the past

My boyfriend and I have been together for around a year, he broke up with me previously because he didn't feel the same way about me, he slept with other people but then realised he wanted me back. After about a week of him asking I said yes, he treated me great and everything was good. Then he gave me his Facebook password to do something, I broke his trust by looking at his messages. There was this girl, about 2/3 years older that he had always fancied, she is the opposite to me, blonde blue eyes, which he said was his type. Before we had broke up he was telling her how I was hard work, and how I always cried ( about my mum that died 4 years ago) which I thought was very insensitive of him. The messages started getting dirty, he was taking to her about having sex with her etc.. There was a number of messages from girls while we were together but she was the one that stod out.  He said sorry he would never do it again. It's been 6 months since we got back together and we are really strong, I know he regrets sleeping with the girls etc, but I still get angry about him breaking my trust and speaking to another girl like that.. How do I get over this
6 Comments Post a Comment
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973741_tn?1342346373
Dear, if he was doing these things while you were on a break, then it isn't appropriate for you to hold them against him.  If you found out about what he wrote by snooping, it isn't appropriate for you to hold it against him.  

Men/boys do sometimes learn lessons the hard way.  Perhaps he fancied her a bit, took you for granted and found out that was a mistake and now wants to only be with you.  Don't punish him for it if things are going well.

Work on your own insecurity and keep this issue about you and not about his facebook page.  good luck
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3149845_tn?1386354841
Hi Louise, From what you wrote, its seems he is still not sure of his feelings for you as he is still in contact with other girls behind your back. Many things you say, as with the girls with blonde hair are is type and the fact that he broke up with you, make me think he does not have real feelings of  love for you and i read in your post that you are a bit insecure about him.

I think you need real answers from him, like why he wanted to get back with you.
Many times when someone breaks up with us, causes heartache and blinds us to the truth, especially when they come back.
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973741_tn?1342346373
Oh goodness, we can't possibly know if he has real feelings for her.  This communication took place prior to the break up and now they are back together and he treats her well.

While they can have a dialogue about where they are headed as a couple and what his feelings are, it isn't fair to say from this scenario that he doesn't have real feelings for her.  

good luck to the poster and understand that sometimes our own insecurities can get in the way.  And I love a person that evolves past a superficial "type" as it sounds like your boyfriend has.  While one may 'prefer blondes'---  it certainly doesn't mean that they wouldn't be equally attracted to a wonderful woman, good looking woman with a different hair color.  good luck
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3149845_tn?1386354841
From a male perspective. Generally when a male breaks up with a female, especially by this  wording, he went out and played the field, and found out through dating and having sex with other people that:
1. the ex had better qualities
2. he could not get over on them as easy as with the ex.
Im sure there are other reasons but all are none the less a after thought experience.
When a person loves someone truly, they do not find this out by comparsions.
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1268057_tn?1399131913
Will agree with Specialmom.

If he is treating you well NOW, FOCUS on that......not on this other nonsense.  

Some of the things he said weren't so nice, but in the end he CAME back to YOU.  He isn't with this blond hair; blue eyed girl.  You got him.  

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973741_tn?1342346373
Yes, I agree with Londres!  Focus on now.  

If he is a player or you feel like he is not on the up and up with you, then he's not the guy for you. But he sounds like he cares and is trying to be open (enough so that he gave you his facebook password).  

I would focus on what is going on now and work on your own insecurities.  
good luck
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