I think my boyfriend is an addicted to Pain Pills..HELP

[Girly02]

I have a question and I am looking for some, any kind of help with this.  My b/f started doing oxycottin about 3 months ago.  It has gotten worse lately though.  We fight all the time he is moody and just never in a good mood.  He takes prolly 40-80 grams a day.  He cuts the 80grams up and takes them through out the day.  It hurts me that he is doing this to himself.  His mom buys oxycottin off of his one friend.  She buys 10-15 at a time each week.  I find it hard to believe that his mom doesnt know about his addiction. He got very angry one night when i mentioned it so that his mom could hear.  He tells me he does not want me to say anything about him taking the oxycottin and it is none of my bussiness what he does.  I dont know what to do?!   He used to be the greatest guy in the world.  But its all just falling apart now.  Ilove him to death, but it is not a healthy situation.  Last night he trying throwing me out the car.  He also grabed me and pushed me away.  he is very distant and when i tryed talking to him about what was going on between us he didnt want to talk about it??  He didnt want me to leave, but yet i dont think he wanted me to stay.   It was a very tough situation.  I just dont know where to begin or what to do.  How do i approach him w/ his problem?  

[PlateletGal]

This is a tough situation, but I think the outcome will be far worse if you do not do anything ASAP to try to stop your boyfriend's addiction. In addition, your boyfriend has become abusive with you. You need to protect yourself first and as far as him, you can only do so much, but I think you should try. Anna Nicole Smith is a good example. If you continue in the relationship and don't try to stop him from hurting himself, you will put yourself in more danger and him as well.

Have you thought about calling his physician ? Or is your boyfriend getting all of his pills from his friend ?

[yess22]

Hey there,
I read this forum on a daily basis but have never posted. I am posting now becasue not too long ago i was in a very similar situatin with my boyfriend. I actually had posted for advice on a different relationship forum and had very negative resposes for example " this is not someone you want to be with... " maybe other people didnt understand. I knew in my heart that I still wanted to be with my boyfriend 100 %... because he was struggling and going through a dark time did not mean i wanted to give up on him.

And I will tell you the situation had gotten to a dark point. He was crushing up oxys and snorting them for about four months straight. He wouldn't do a lot of oxy every day but just enough to get him going and never went a day without it. The way your boyfriend's mom almost encourages his oxy use, my boyfriends buddies were also infatuated with the drug. Maybe your bf's mom is also addicted to oxy and that is why she doesn't see the problem. Let me tell you, it is the hardest thing in the world to tell the person you love that you think they have a problem (especially when it comes to drug addiction) because they dont even want to admit that they have a problem. The response from my boyfriend was usually " I can stop any time I want... its just for fun". And to tell you the truth I didn't see him have fun when he was high on oxy, he would go about his daily duties, but like your boyfriend, would become angry and really highstrung, make the biggest deal over nothing. I knew deep down that it wasn't him because I knew him better than that, but drugs do change a person,
You need to ask yourself if it is worth it or not? I am not saying that he is violent, but even drugs are no excuse to be violent with you. But if you love him, I dont think you will feel better until you communicate with him. I am sure you dont want your boyfriend to think you are the bad guy for telling him he has a problem, so approach it in a calm manner. Wait until he isnt high and it is just the two of you, let him know that you care about the relationship but he is hurting you by using oxy. I never told my boyfriend that he had to stop but I told him how I really felt. I had searched oxycontin in yahoo and google and found some very disturbing facts....  i shared these with him as well.
I think what really made my boyfriend want to stop is when he experienced a withdrawl first hand. He finally didn't have any oxy one night and the next morning woke up sweating and in terrible pain, he could barely move except to run to the bathroom. oxycontin is a synthetic heroin so he was having the withdrawls of a herion addict. this really opened up his eyes.

I think in your heart you know what is right for you and your situation. Some people need someone to say "hey what your doing isn't right". I think he definatly needs to know how he is treating you isn't right. If he has a bad reaction then at least you know you tried. I am not sure the details of your relationship so I can not tell you how he will react.
I stuck it through with myboyfriend and couldn't be happier that I did. There are times where he wants to just use it occasionally and now I am not afraid to stand up and say " you are not putting me though that again".
I am sorry to hear about your situation and I dont know if my post helps but it is nice to know that you are not alone. Also check out the addiction forum on this website.

[Girly02]

Thank you for all the advice.. i really appriciate it.  Please keep the good advice coming.  My one really good friends feel as though i should sit down and talk to his mom about it.  But i'm not to sure because we are not close at all.  She was best friends with the ex girlfriend.  She was a totally horrible inflence, they used to take e all the time.  soo help me please!! Thank you!!!

[socgirl]

leave as soon as you can.  i know you love him and you're very concerned about him.  However, he's abusive and he has a problem.  Talking to his mother probably won't help...sounds like she's part of the problem.  you're fooling yourself if you think you can change him.  For him to change and get help, he has to want to do it...it doesn't sound like he's ready right now.  

[PlateletGal]

I sort of agree with socgirl, but honestly... first off I think you should do everything you can do to try to help him and especially since his mother sounds like she has a problem herself and is unable to help him. However, at the same time, this guy has physically abused you. So do what you can, but make sure that you are safe at ALL TIMES! That may require not seeing him in person or if you do... take your friend(s) with you. If he threatens or hits you, I honestly think you need to report him to the authorities. Unfortunately, this is what it takes to try to help someone.

This is no longer about saving your relationship. You may have to sacrifice (which, actually you can't continue on the road you are on.... the relationship will eventually end anyway) your relationship to try to save this guy that you love. I actually know someone from years ago who reported her boyfriend to authorities, in an attempt to get him away from hurting himself. After he cleaned up his act, she told him that she was the one who reported him... he thanked her.

[hardcoreback]

well, pain killers are deadly ... very.. tell him many had died because of it... may it be NUBIAN or anything.. try searchin for biographies of people who had died because of pain killer overdose.. and then give it to him.. this may look crazy but this will hit him hard.. who wants to die early? i mean.. he knows what's good for him after that... go straight .. show him his final journey if he dont stop. god bless

[Girly02]

Thank you everyone for your help!!!   Last night was better.  But i didnt get over to his house until 10 or so and I find a pen emptyed of its ink that they must of used to snort it.  And he jsut bought like 30 ABG pills last night.  WE went to the bar to hang out w/ some friends and he was so down.  He even @ one point put his head down on the bar.   It was def. depressing but i didnt really say much.  Because i didnt want to cause an argument.  

[someoneinneed]

I am going through the same thing with my husband,  I actually kicked him out to his parents house and it has been about a month and a half and we just started having real conversations.  He says he has been straight for 5 weeks now and did it on his own.  It is very hard to believe because for 5 months at our house he was not able to do that.  Maybe not being home, losing his job and living with his parents opened his eyes.  It took all of me to pack his stuff, change the locks and turn off his phone, but if it helped him than I was willing to take that chance.  Sometimes if you love them let them go if they love you they will come back, if not then it was not meant to be.  But I have learned that you can not fight this battle for them, they have to want to do it if they are going to get straight.

[jen218]

my boyfriend has been living a seperate life of drugs behind my back.help me please

[Jaybay]

YOU can't make him stop abusing oxycontin.  HE has to do it.  It doesn't sound like he has any intention of doing so right now.  Right now, that drug is the most important thing in his life - not you.

You can only control your own behavior.  If you leave him, make certain that your reasons for leaving are very clear.  And remember, an addict will lie first to himself, and then to everyone else in his life.  "I can quit any time I want to."  It's not that easy otherwise there wouldn't be so many rehab facilities in this country.  He either comes back to you clean and sober, or he doesn't come back.

I can hear the confusion in what you write.  It's a terrifying thing to see the person you love change into someone you don't know (and don't particularly want to know) nearly overnight.  If you can find a NarAnon group in your area, drop in for a couple of sessions.  NarAnon provides support and information for friends and family members of addicts.  Can't hurt, might help.  :-)

[jo929]

you cannot help your friend get off of the oxocidin, unless he wants to, and it sounds as if he does not. also i imagine that his mom knows about this,, my advice would be to let hm alone, and get on with your life, as he could get worse  luck  jo

[BOOPBOOPS]

HEY HUNNIE, I DO NOT WANT TO BE THE BEARER OF BAD NEWS, BUT THE CHANCES OF HIM STOPPING NOW ARE SLIM. I HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS WITH MY FIANCE. FOR ME THOUGH, IT GOT VERYYYY BAD. BUT WHEN YOU SAID THAT YOU WERE IN THE BAR TE OTHER NIGHT AND HE PUT HIS HEAD DOWN...WELL EVERY TIME HE TAKES A OXY HE IS GOING TO DO THAT. THAT IS WHAT HAPPENES THAT IS ALSO WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE OXYS LEAD INTO WORSE DRUGS. DO LET HIM OR THE ADDTCTION MESS WITH YOU MENTALLY, IT EVENTUALLY TAKES A TOLL ON YOU AND THEN YOU ARE THE ONE FEELING CRAZY. HE WILL STOP WHEN HE IS GOING TO STOP, SAD BUT TRUE...IT TOOK MY FANCE 2 YEARS...GOOD LUCK AND PLEASE DONT HESITATE CHATTING WITH ME...TAKE CARE

[tf4e]

You need to keep your head, Your bf has to hit rock bottom before he realizes he has a problem. I used to use before. I spent 4 1/2 years in prison because of my drug use. It took being in a cell for almost 5 years for every single day for me to get the hint that soberity is the way to go. Watch the show called Intervention. You can call them. They will pay for him to go to treatmeant and all of the plane tickets.

[CPKH21]

Girl i know exactly how you feel my boyfriend also started doing oxys a few months back but he was doing 120mg a day he has gone down in the amount but will not stop completely and its like he went from this great loving guy to the complete opposite i need someone to talk to also not sure if you are still going through this or not but if you are please email me at ***@**** i am 35 weeks pregnant and its like he doesnt even care that he is going to loose me and his daughter i try so hard but the only time he is happy is when he is high and when hes not or knows he cant get something he is the most hatefull guy i have ever met.....it eats me up because i know how great he can be and i know his heart its just these stupid drugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[CPKH21]

Okay well i guess this site blocks it if i type my email address......

[extrmeski]

this is a very tough situation.  First of all oxycontin is time released oxycodone, so by breaking up the pills he is defeating the time released mechanism and he is getting a high dose of oxycodone all at once.  Not to scare you but the chance of overdose is increased by doing this.  The other is HE has to recognize the problem and want to quit.  You can't make someone quit.  I had the same problem with my ex g/f.  She was (and still is)addicted to pain pills.  I tried to help her get off of them but the pills were more important then our relationship.  In fact drugs became her life and consumed her.  First it was pain pills which she tried to hide from me lying about everything from where she was going etc..  then it was pain pills and xanex.  Then later on coke and I have no idea what sort of stuff she is doing now.  Over time the drugs caused her to change her personality doing and saying anything to make sure she had her pills.  Later she lost her morals now she basically is a prostituting herself..  she latches onto any guy that she thinks will support her and her habit.
I loved her so much and to watch all this happen was a nightmare, and the worse heartbreak I could ever imagine.  I hope that this helps you get some clarity of thought, I would hate for you to expereince what I went through!

[shady55]

I am like this too. I realize that when I do this I get moody too. Granted I don't take that much, and have tons of stress, but I attribute my mood swings to that very same reason. I'm not sure what to tell you, he should probably stop, but I can guarentee it's going to be no walk in the park, nor will he want to stop. If anything his mom is going to have to make him stop, as she is the one with the access to the pills. You can't really make him stop unless you are married or very very committed.

[shady55]

Hey man, I put ski on alot of words too! like for instance wordski or joeski for my friend joe and such. Anyways, I just read your post, and that is sad man. I feel very bad for you,  because it sounds like you loved her a lot and to watch it all happen in front of your eyes is sad. I would HATE for my girlfriend to do that. I want to let her try one or two, but reading that scares me. She drinks like on the weekends and thats about it. I would NEVER let it get to that point with her though. She is a good girl and would only ever take it if she was in severe pain, and I just want her to take one to try with me at home one night, but I am scared it will open a window for her and make her think she can do it all the time and do other stuff like smoke pot like she used to a year ago or so. I feel bad for you and that ***** I don't want that to happen to anyone. Life is a b**tch sometimes!

[extrmeski]

Tks shady55 yeah it was truly he11 on earth.  I loved her more than life itself and would have done anything for her.  It's ok though I got to experience true unconditional love.  But yeah don't open any dorrs, you say you wouldn't let it get to "that" point, but in the end you have no control over another person.  I found that out the hard way through tons of tears and a crushed heart.

[shady55]

Yeah, I mean she has asked once to take one just because she had some really bad physical pain, and I considered it, and then we both just decided it was not a good idea. Its hard because I want her to be able to relax with me one night and watch some movies and have her feel the same way I do, but I do not think I am going to do that it's not fair to her either. You look pretty ripped man keep it up! Take it easy im sure you will find a good woman. You know my sister I caught her taking some pills today, and it's funny because to me I can never think of a woman abusing pills. It sounds very sexist, but its hard to imagine my sister, or girlfriend for that matter being hooked on something like that. When I think of girls/women abusing something, I typically think of alcohol and maybe pot. But pills have such a "druggie mentality/ connotation" that it is hard for me to grasp that not only men do this. Anyway best of luck to all!

[stevebudzz]

I actually have to endure watching my brother in law and his live in girlfriend snort pain pills,oxys,percocetts10,hydrocodone 1000 mgs.They both do this daily and he goes around sniffing all day.He has a very bad temper,has been arrested at this address for domestic violence(hitting his girlfriend and my wife and I are caught in the middle.We cannot move because my mother in law is my wife's payee and she refuses for us to move.She controls her income.My brother in law,Chris also threatens us.He punches holes in the walls,calls everybody names and says if we call the police ever again,he'd make sure going to jail is worth his while.His girlfriend even acts weird.She throws stuff around,runs into ya.And she acts like shes crippled.She barely gets outta bed.She complains all the time and if she won't cook for chris,he gets violent and hits her.Now I gotta go,chris is screaming at my wife again.Because we emailed the police and they came out earlier today to investigate.The police already came out 10 times so far.They said,i'm my wifes' husband and need to go to Social sec and fight for her SSI checks and move asap.Since his mother won't do anything about it.

[stevebudzz]

I was confronted today about emailing the police and my brother in law,chris,said the cops said,next time they come out,everybodys' going to jail."This wasn't told to me by the cops.They told my wife and I they need to be called out next time he or his girlfriend become violent.They then can do something about it.They have a recorder which records everything said on phone.He lied to me.He was on the phone today arranging to trade his hydrocodones for more oxys and percocett 10's.He will never quit.His girlfriend snorts also and she consumes 30-40 pain pills per day and it upsets him.He wants more to himself and cannot trade if she's using them.My mother in law works two jobs and is hardly around.she sleeps after 6- 10:45 pm and leaves to her second job.Both my wife and I are afraid what will happen next.He caused his parents house to burn down in 2004 and it's because he owed crack dealer's money.Now were in a rental house and his mother let him move back in.She swore it be only a couple months.This was in July when she said this.He also screens all my phone calls.They use a cut straw and plate for snorting and lay down all day long and pace all day till 11:30 am or so then lay down again.Especially if there out of pills.Then he screams and waves knives at his girlfriend.He sometimes shows me his pocket knife and says,feel how sharp this is..He's a convicted felon and the police have a huge record on him.He once was called oatmeal man in star banner ocala paper.Look it up.He hit his girlfriends' mother who is over 60,with a bag of oatmeal and was arrested in 2004.

[stevebudzz]

http://www.sptimes.com/2004/09/23/Citrus/Flinging_oatmeal_gets.shtm
This is the site for the flinging oatmeal inncident in 2004.In citrus county ,FL inSt Petersburg times article.This is a perfect example of what drugs does to a person.I found the article for you and now you can see what I have to endure..It's very scary
                                         Steve

[d_bossy]

I recently just found out that my boyfriend had been smoking oxy for the past 7 months and even smoking fentaynal patches as well. I'm so hurt. He wants to rehab and is planning on going to a methadone clinic.

He has stolen over $1000 from me also to support this addiction. I'm so hurt. I told him I wouldn't be able to respect myself if I stayed with him through this after all the lies and stealing.

Am I wrong? I'm so confused. Loving an addict is hard. But I'm trying to do what is best for me.

Any thoughts? Support? Anything?

[stevebudzz]

I also got confronted again last night by my BIL and he said if the cops get called again on him,he'll just tell em I smoke pot and that will land me 280 days in marion county jail.He said he'll plant it on me.He said heck,he'll tell em I'm 6 ft" tall and he's afraid of me and I hit him.He's very compulsive.I was wondering,I alrdy told the cops he has Hep C and I don't fight and if I ever hit him and he bled,I'd catch his hep c.He's driving me bonkers.His doctor gives him pain medicine evry time he has an apointment.He complains to him about how bad his Hep C is hurting him.What should I do? My wife and I can't move out cause my MIL gets herchecks in her bank account from SSI for being her payee and she spends it all on rent.

[aj321]

yeah...i just went through this with my bf too. We were together for 2 years and lived together for 6 months. He started acting so different but said it was because of depression and PTSD (which i know he had also, he went to Iraq). I'm in graduate school getting my masters degree and i came home early one day. He was so out of it and I ended up finding out that he had been snorting percocets. I've heard that these aren't as bad as oxycontin but I don't know much about this. I also found out that he was snorting the pills with my supposed "friend" who is in my graduate program of only 25 people, and her boyfriend! So messed up. I caught my bf on a thursday, and by monday he was moved out and gone...just like that. I told him I would have stuck with him and tried to help him get resources but obviously he didn't want that. We talk sometimes and he says that he has stopped taking them all together. I still love him but he's all the way across the country now so I don't know if anything can happen in the future. I also don't know if I can believe anything he says. It's horrible and so heartbreaking, so I totally feel for all of you. I have to sit in class across from this girl who did that with him and actively hid it from me, horrible! Anyways, any advice, thoughts, feedback?

[meg8080]

wow i sit and read what everyone has to say and im so lost...ive been dealing with my boyfriends addiction bad fer the past 2 years...and its so hard we have a beautiful 2year old boy who is our life! i love him and want things to be back to the way they was when we got together 4 years ago! my boyfriend dont care what kind of pk's hes gettin its gone from vik's,perk's,oxy's and even opana. he use to just chew and swallow till this one jerk said why dont u snort it..so now no matter what kind of pk he is gettin it gets crushed and snorted...they all go fer the strongest they can get..dont want the generic i want the real thing they all say..fer one the coast! holly ****!! and the side effects they dont see!! the way they talk to u the way they make u feel as if your the one with the problem. any conversation more than likely will end up in a arguement. i made the sad mistake of trying it with him @ one point and all i did was puke my brains out and felt sick fer like 2 days after..so now he tossis it up in the air as if u didnt get sick from them u would do it with me. I dont think i would i know i wouldnt im not that kind of person! so mistakes are often made to try and get the love back that u once had..i have even tried to leave him but something inside holds me back i love him and want to help i dont like seeing him go through the pain of the pills! he has already gone through withdrawls and started doing it again. he tells me he has real pain and noone understand or believes him. its really hard to believe someone has pain when they snort a pill. i got to the piont where i said ok u have pain and need the pill to help with that pain so take it. he did the normal for him pop it in his mouth just to get it wet rub off the coating on the outside god forbid it has timrelese..crushed it and snorted it. when i ask why do u have to take it that way if ur really takin it fer pain?!! the reply is i want instant releef. to me thats addiction not im in pain help out the pain please.  i could keep going on and on and tell about all the bad things that have happened in our relationship cuz of pills but none of it is pretty! i have lost friends commin close to losin my parents cuz i dont listen to anyone and leave. i have a few reasons i dont wanna share why im not leaving and not its not cuz i do this with him its leagal reasons...if i had all the money in the world i would help everyone who has problems with pills! is there a way to help him? i dont know at this point but im gonna try hard as hell to get us out of this! if anyone has any imput or just some support groups maybe? please let me know!!

[babygurljrl]

I have been in the situation, i was an addict to oxys, hydromorphine, you name it for about three years...and the withdrawals are sooo bad, thats what makes it so hard of a habit to break, your whole body aches pain deep in your bones, you have diarrea (diarrhea), vomiting, hot and cold sweats, the shakes, you name it..He most likely wants fast releif to get rid of the symptoms of withdrawal, which you can get as soon as the next day...The thing that saved me was being put on the methadone program during my 2nd pregnancy. It is a controlled dose of a substance administered daily by a pharmicist, prescribed by a doctor. It is an opiate itself and you are still dependant on it, however it stops withdrawals and blcoks the effects of other opiates, so if he were to do and oxy it would have no effect..It gives you the break you need to get your life back on track and when you feel ready you can taper off of it with little to no withdrawals. It is not available everywheres but is becoming more and more used in north america to treat opiate dependancy. Look it up online and see if there is a doctor liscenced to prescribe it around you and encourage him to go see him. The dosage is adjusted to you so that you feel completely normal and do not need to be dependant on other pills, heroin, etc. It saved my baby, my family and probably my life, i am myself again, a great mother and happier then i can remember being in years. Now i look forward to waking up:)