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I think my boyfriend is an addicted to Pain Pills..HELP
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I think my boyfriend is an addicted to Pain Pills..HELP

I have a question and I am looking for some, any kind of help with this.  My b/f started doing oxycottin about 3 months ago.  It has gotten worse lately though.  We fight all the time he is moody and just never in a good mood.  He takes prolly 40-80 grams a day.  He cuts the 80grams up and takes them through out the day.  It hurts me that he is doing this to himself.  His mom buys oxycottin off of his one friend.  She buys 10-15 at a time each week.  I find it hard to believe that his mom doesnt know about his addiction. He got very angry one night when i mentioned it so that his mom could hear.  He tells me he does not want me to say anything about him taking the oxycottin and it is none of my bussiness what he does.  I dont know what to do?!   He used to be the greatest guy in the world.  But its all just falling apart now.  Ilove him to death, but it is not a healthy situation.  Last night he trying throwing me out the car.  He also grabed me and pushed me away.  he is very distant and when i tryed talking to him about what was going on between us he didnt want to talk about it??  He didnt want me to leave, but yet i dont think he wanted me to stay.   It was a very tough situation.  I just dont know where to begin or what to do.  How do i approach him w/ his problem?  
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Avatar_f_tn

This is a tough situation, but I think the outcome will be far worse if you do not do anything ASAP to try to stop your boyfriend's addiction. In addition, your boyfriend has become abusive with you. You need to protect yourself first and as far as him, you can only do so much, but I think you should try. Anna Nicole Smith is a good example. If you continue in the relationship and don't try to stop him from hurting himself, you will put yourself in more danger and him as well.

Have you thought about calling his physician ? Or is your boyfriend getting all of his pills from his friend ?
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Avatar_n_tn
Hey there,
I read this forum on a daily basis but have never posted. I am posting now becasue not too long ago i was in a very similar situatin with my boyfriend. I actually had posted for advice on a different relationship forum and had very negative resposes for example " this is not someone you want to be with... " maybe other people didnt understand. I knew in my heart that I still wanted to be with my boyfriend 100 %... because he was struggling and going through a dark time did not mean i wanted to give up on him.

And I will tell you the situation had gotten to a dark point. He was crushing up oxys and snorting them for about four months straight. He wouldn't do a lot of oxy every day but just enough to get him going and never went a day without it. The way your boyfriend's mom almost encourages his oxy use, my boyfriends buddies were also infatuated with the drug. Maybe your bf's mom is also addicted to oxy and that is why she doesn't see the problem. Let me tell you, it is the hardest thing in the world to tell the person you love that you think they have a problem (especially when it comes to drug addiction) because they dont even want to admit that they have a problem. The response from my boyfriend was usually " I can stop any time I want... its just for fun". And to tell you the truth I didn't see him have fun when he was high on oxy, he would go about his daily duties, but like your boyfriend, would become angry and really highstrung, make the biggest deal over nothing. I knew deep down that it wasn't him because I knew him better than that, but drugs do change a person,
You need to ask yourself if it is worth it or not? I am not saying that he is violent, but even drugs are no excuse to be violent with you. But if you love him, I dont think you will feel better until you communicate with him. I am sure you dont want your boyfriend to think you are the bad guy for telling him he has a problem, so approach it in a calm manner. Wait until he isnt high and it is just the two of you, let him know that you care about the relationship but he is hurting you by using oxy. I never told my boyfriend that he had to stop but I told him how I really felt. I had searched oxycontin in yahoo and google and found some very disturbing facts....  i shared these with him as well.
I think what really made my boyfriend want to stop is when he experienced a withdrawl (withdrawal) first hand. He finally didn't have any oxy one night and the next morning woke up sweating and in terrible pain, he could barely move except to run to the bathroom. oxycontin is a synthetic heroin so he was having the withdrawls of a herion addict. this really opened up his eyes.

I think in your heart you know what is right for you and your situation. Some people need someone to say "hey what your doing isn't right". I think he definatly needs to know how he is treating you isn't right. If he has a bad reaction then at least you know you tried. I am not sure the details of your relationship so I can not tell you how he will react.
I stuck it through with myboyfriend and couldn't be happier that I did. There are times where he wants to just use it occasionally and now I am not afraid to stand up and say " you are not putting me though that again".
I am sorry to hear about your situation and I dont know if my post helps but it is nice to know that you are not alone. Also check out the addiction forum on this website.
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Avatar_n_tn
Thank you for all the advice.. i really appriciate it.  Please keep the good advice coming.  My one really good friends feel as though i should sit down and talk to his mom about it.  But i'm not to sure because we are not close at all.  She was best friends with the ex girlfriend.  She was a totally horrible inflence, they used to take e all the time.  soo help me please!! Thank you!!!
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Avatar_f_tn
leave as soon as you can.  i know you love him and you're very concerned about him.  However, he's abusive and he has a problem.  Talking to his mother probably won't help...sounds like she's part of the problem.  you're fooling yourself if you think you can change him.  For him to change and get help, he has to want to do it...it doesn't sound like he's ready right now.  
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Avatar_f_tn

I sort of agree with socgirl, but honestly... first off I think you should do everything you can do to try to help him and especially since his mother sounds like she has a problem herself and is unable to help him. However, at the same time, this guy has physically abused you. So do what you can, but make sure that you are safe at ALL TIMES! That may require not seeing him in person or if you do... take your friend(s) with you. If he threatens or hits you, I honestly think you need to report him to the authorities. Unfortunately, this is what it takes to try to help someone.

This is no longer about saving your relationship. You may have to sacrifice (which, actually you can't continue on the road you are on.... the relationship will eventually end anyway) your relationship to try to save this guy that you love. I actually know someone from years ago who reported her boyfriend to authorities, in an attempt to get him away from hurting himself. After he cleaned up his act, she told him that she was the one who reported him... he thanked her.



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Avatar_n_tn
well, pain killers are deadly ... very.. tell him many had died because of it... may it be NUBIAN or anything.. try searchin for biographies of people who had died because of pain killer overdose.. and then give it to him.. this may look crazy but this will hit him hard.. who wants to die early? i mean.. he knows what's good for him after that... go straight .. show him his final journey if he dont stop. god bless
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Avatar_n_tn
Thank you everyone for your help!!!   Last night was better.  But i didnt get over to his house until 10 or so and I find a pen emptyed of its ink that they must of used to snort it.  And he jsut bought like 30 ABG pills last night.  WE went to the bar to hang out w/ some friends and he was so down.  He even @ one point put his head down on the bar.   It was def. depressing but i didnt really say much.  Because i didnt want to cause an argument.  
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Avatar_f_tn
I am going through the same thing with my husband,  I actually kicked him out to his parents house and it has been about a month and a half and we just started having real conversations.  He says he has been straight for 5 weeks now and did it on his own.  It is very hard to believe because for 5 months at our house he was not able to do that.  Maybe not being home, losing his job and living with his parents opened his eyes.  It took all of me to pack his stuff, change the locks and turn off his phone, but if it helped him than I was willing to take that chance.  Sometimes if you love them let them go if they love you they will come back, if not then it was not meant to be.  But I have learned that you can not fight this battle for them, they have to want to do it if they are going to get straight.
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Avatar_n_tn
my boyfriend has been living a seperate life of drugs behind my back.help me please
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YOU can't make him stop abusing oxycontin.  HE has to do it.  It doesn't sound like he has any intention of doing so right now.  Right now, that drug is the most important thing in his life - not you.

You can only control your own behavior.  If you leave him, make certain that your reasons for leaving are very clear.  And remember, an addict will lie first to himself, and then to everyone else in his life.  "I can quit any time I want to."  It's not that easy otherwise there wouldn't be so many rehab facilities in this country.  He either comes back to you clean and sober, or he doesn't come back.

I can hear the confusion in what you write.  It's a terrifying thing to see the person you love change into someone you don't know (and don't particularly want to know) nearly overnight.  If you can find a NarAnon group in your area, drop in for a couple of sessions.  NarAnon provides support and information for friends and family members of addicts.  Can't hurt, might help.  :-)
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Avatar_f_tn
you cannot help your friend get off of the oxocidin, unless he wants to, and it sounds as if he does not. also i imagine that his mom knows about this,, my advice would be to let hm alone, and get on with your life, as he could get worse  luck  jo
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Avatar_f_tn
HEY HUNNIE, I DO NOT WANT TO BE THE BEARER OF BAD NEWS, BUT THE CHANCES OF HIM STOPPING NOW ARE SLIM. I HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS WITH MY FIANCE. FOR ME THOUGH, IT GOT VERYYYY BAD. BUT WHEN YOU SAID THAT YOU WERE IN THE BAR TE OTHER NIGHT AND HE PUT HIS HEAD DOWN...WELL EVERY TIME HE TAKES A OXY HE IS GOING TO DO THAT. THAT IS WHAT HAPPENES THAT IS ALSO WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE OXYS LEAD INTO WORSE DRUGS. DO LET HIM OR THE ADDTCTION MESS WITH YOU MENTALLY, IT EVENTUALLY TAKES A TOLL ON YOU AND THEN YOU ARE THE ONE FEELING CRAZY. HE WILL STOP WHEN HE IS GOING TO STOP, SAD BUT TRUE...IT TOOK MY FANCE 2 YEARS...GOOD LUCK AND PLEASE DONT HESITATE CHATTING WITH ME...TAKE CARE
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Avatar_n_tn
You need to keep your head, Your bf has to hit rock bottom before he realizes he has a problem. I used to use before. I spent 4 1/2 years in prison because of my drug use. It took being in a cell for almost 5 years for every single day for me to get the hint that soberity is the way to go. Watch the show called Intervention. You can call them. They will pay for him to go to treatmeant and all of the plane tickets.
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Girl i know exactly how you feel my boyfriend also started doing oxys a few months back but he was doing 120mg a day he has gone down in the amount but will not stop completely and its like he went from this great loving guy to the complete opposite i need someone to talk to also not sure if you are still going through this or not but if you are please email me at ***@**** i am 35 weeks pregnant and its like he doesnt even care that he is going to loose me and his daughter i try so hard but the only time he is happy is when he is high and when hes not or knows he cant get something he is the most hatefull guy i have ever met.....it eats me up because i know how great he can be and i know his heart its just these stupid drugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Okay well i guess this site blocks it if i type my email address......
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Avatar_m_tn
this is a very tough situation.  First of all oxycontin is time released oxycodone, so by breaking up the pills he is defeating the time released mechanism and he is getting a high dose of oxycodone all at once.  Not to scare you but the chance of overdose is increased by doing this.  The other is HE has to recognize the problem and want to quit.  You can't make someone quit.  I had the same problem with my ex g/f.  She was (and still is)addicted to pain pills.  I tried to help her get off of them but the pills were more important then our relationship.  In fact drugs became her life and consumed her.  First it was pain pills which she tried to hide from me lying about everything from where she was going etc..  then it was pain pills and xanex.  Then later on coke and I have no idea what sort of stuff she is doing now.  Over time the drugs caused her to change her personality doing and saying anything to make sure she had her pills.  Later she lost her morals now she basically is a prostituting herself..  she latches onto any guy that she thinks will support her and her habit.
I loved her so much and to watch all this happen was a nightmare, and the worse heartbreak I could ever imagine.  I hope that this helps you get some clarity of thought, I would hate for you to expereince what I went through!
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Avatar_m_tn
I am like this too. I realize that when I do this I get moody too. Granted I don't take that much, and have tons of stress, but I attribute my mood swings to that very same reason. I'm not sure what to tell you, he should probably stop, but I can guarentee it's going to be no walk in the park, nor will he want to stop. If anything his mom is going to have to make him stop, as she is the one with the access to the pills. You can't really make him stop unless you are married or very very committed.
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Hey man, I put ski on alot of words too! like for instance wordski or joeski for my friend joe and such. Anyways, I just read your post, and that is sad man. I feel very bad for you,  because it sounds like you loved her a lot and to watch it all happen in front of your eyes is sad. I would HATE for my girlfriend to do that. I want to let her try one or two, but reading that scares me. She drinks like on the weekends and thats about it. I would NEVER let it get to that point with her though. She is a good girl and would only ever take it if she was in severe pain, and I just want her to take one to try with me at home one night, but I am scared it will open a window for her and make her think she can do it all the time and do other stuff like smoke pot like she used to a year ago or so. I feel bad for you and that ***** I don't want that to happen to anyone. Life is a b**tch sometimes!
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Tks shady55 yeah it was truly he11 on earth.  I loved her more than life itself and would have done anything for her.  It's ok though I got to experience true unconditional love.  But yeah don't open any dorrs, you say you wouldn't let it get to "that" point, but in the end you have no control over another person.  I found that out the hard way through tons of tears and a crushed heart.
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Yeah, I mean she has asked once to take one just because she had some really bad physical pain, and I considered it, and then we both just decided it was not a good idea. Its hard because I want her to be able to relax with me one night and watch some movies and have her feel the same way I do, but I do not think I am going to do that it's not fair to her either. You look pretty ripped man keep it up! Take it easy im sure you will find a good woman. You know my sister I caught her taking some pills today, and it's funny because to me I can never think of a woman abusing pills. It sounds very sexist, but its hard to imagine my sister, or girlfriend for that matter being hooked on something like that. When I think of girls/women abusing something, I typically think of alcohol and maybe pot. But pills have such a "druggie mentality/ connotation" that it is hard for me to grasp that not only men do this. Anyway best of luck to all!
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I actually have to endure watching my brother in law and his live in girlfriend snort pain pills,oxys,percocetts10,hydrocodone 1000 mgs.They both do this daily and he goes around sniffing all day.He has a very bad temper,has been arrested at this address for domestic violence(hitting his girlfriend and my wife and I are caught in the middle.We cannot move because my mother in law is my wife's payee and she refuses for us to move.She controls her income.My brother in law,Chris also threatens us.He punches holes in the walls,calls everybody names and says if we call the police ever again,he'd make sure going to jail is worth his while.His girlfriend even acts weird.She throws stuff around,runs into ya.And she acts like shes crippled.She barely gets outta bed.She complains all the time and if she won't cook for chris,he gets violent and hits her.Now I gotta go,chris is screaming at my wife again.Because we emailed the police and they came out earlier today to investigate.The police already came out 10 times so far.They said,i'm my wifes' husband and need to go to Social sec and fight for her SSI checks and move asap.Since his mother won't do anything about it.
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I was confronted today about emailing the police and my brother in law,chris,said the cops said,next time they come out,everybodys' going to jail."This wasn't told to me by the cops.They told my wife and I they need to be called out next time he or his girlfriend become violent.They then can do something about it.They have a recorder which records everything said on phone.He lied to me.He was on the phone today arranging to trade his hydrocodones for more oxys and percocett 10's.He will never quit.His girlfriend snorts also and she consumes 30-40 pain pills per day and it upsets him.He wants more to himself and cannot trade if she's using them.My mother in law works two jobs and is hardly around.she sleeps after 6- 10:45 pm and leaves to her second job.Both my wife and I are afraid what will happen next.He caused his parents house to burn down in 2004 and it's because he owed crack dealer's money.Now were in a rental house and his mother let him move back in.She swore it be only a couple months.This was in July when she said this.He also screens all my phone calls.They use a cut straw and plate for snorting and lay down all day long and pace all day till 11:30 am or so then lay down again.Especially if there out of pills.Then he screams and waves knives at his girlfriend.He sometimes shows me his pocket knife and says,feel how sharp this is..He's a convicted felon and the police have a huge record on him.He once was called oatmeal man in star banner ocala paper.Look it up.He hit his girlfriends' mother who is over 60,with a bag of oatmeal and was arrested in 2004.
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http://www.sptimes.com/2004/09/23/Citrus/Flinging_oatmeal_gets.shtm
This is the site for the flinging oatmeal inncident in 2004.In citrus county ,FL inSt Petersburg times article.This is a perfect example of what drugs does to a person.I found the article for you and now you can see what I have to endure..It's very scary
                                         Steve
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I recently just found out that my boyfriend had been smoking oxy for the past 7 months and even smoking fentaynal patches as well. I'm so hurt. He wants to rehab and is planning on going to a methadone clinic.

He has stolen over $1000 from me also to support this addiction. I'm so hurt. I told him I wouldn't be able to respect myself if I stayed with him through this after all the lies and stealing.

Am I wrong? I'm so confused. Loving an addict is hard. But I'm trying to do what is best for me.

Any thoughts? Support? Anything?
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I also got confronted again last night by my BIL and he said if the cops get called again on him,he'll just tell em I smoke pot and that will land me 280 days in marion county jail.He said he'll plant it on me.He said heck,he'll tell em I'm 6 ft" tall and he's afraid of me and I hit him.He's very compulsive.I was wondering,I alrdy told the cops he has Hep C and I don't fight and if I ever hit him and he bled,I'd catch his hep c.He's driving me bonkers.His doctor gives him pain medicine evry time he has an apointment.He complains to him about how bad his Hep C is hurting him.What should I do? My wife and I can't move out cause my MIL gets herchecks in her bank account from SSI for being her payee and she spends it all on rent.
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Avatar_n_tn
yeah...i just went through this with my bf too. We were together for 2 years and lived together for 6 months. He started acting so different but said it was because of depression and PTSD (which i know he had also, he went to Iraq). I'm in graduate school getting my masters degree and i came home early one day. He was so out of it and I ended up finding out that he had been snorting percocets. I've heard that these aren't as bad as oxycontin but I don't know much about this. I also found out that he was snorting the pills with my supposed "friend" who is in my graduate program of only 25 people, and her boyfriend! So messed up. I caught my bf on a thursday, and by monday he was moved out and gone...just like that. I told him I would have stuck with him and tried to help him get resources but obviously he didn't want that. We talk sometimes and he says that he has stopped taking them all together. I still love him but he's all the way across the country now so I don't know if anything can happen in the future. I also don't know if I can believe anything he says. It's horrible and so heartbreaking, so I totally feel for all of you. I have to sit in class across from this girl who did that with him and actively hid it from me, horrible! Anyways, any advice, thoughts, feedback?
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wow i sit and read what everyone has to say and im so lost...ive been dealing with my boyfriends addiction bad fer the past 2 years...and its so hard we have a beautiful 2year old boy who is our life! i love him and want things to be back to the way they was when we got together 4 years ago! my boyfriend dont care what kind of pk's hes gettin its gone from vik's,perk's,oxy's and even opana. he use to just chew and swallow till this one jerk said why dont u snort it..so now no matter what kind of pk he is gettin it gets crushed and snorted...they all go fer the strongest they can get..dont want the generic i want the real thing they all say..fer one the coast! holly ****!! and the side effects they dont see!! the way they talk to u the way they make u feel as if your the one with the problem. any conversation more than likely will end up in a arguement. i made the sad mistake of trying it with him @ one point and all i did was puke my brains out and felt sick fer like 2 days after..so now he tossis it up in the air as if u didnt get sick from them u would do it with me. I dont think i would i know i wouldnt im not that kind of person! so mistakes are often made to try and get the love back that u once had..i have even tried to leave him but something inside holds me back i love him and want to help i dont like seeing him go through the pain of the pills! he has already gone through withdrawls and started doing it again. he tells me he has real pain and noone understand or believes him. its really hard to believe someone has pain when they snort a pill. i got to the piont where i said ok u have pain and need the pill to help with that pain so take it. he did the normal for him pop it in his mouth just to get it wet rub off the coating on the outside god forbid it has timrelese..crushed it and snorted it. when i ask why do u have to take it that way if ur really takin it fer pain?!! the reply is i want instant releef. to me thats addiction not im in pain help out the pain please.  i could keep going on and on and tell about all the bad things that have happened in our relationship cuz of pills but none of it is pretty! i have lost friends commin close to losin my parents cuz i dont listen to anyone and leave. i have a few reasons i dont wanna share why im not leaving and not its not cuz i do this with him its leagal reasons...if i had all the money in the world i would help everyone who has problems with pills! is there a way to help him? i dont know at this point but im gonna try hard as hell to get us out of this! if anyone has any imput or just some support groups maybe? please let me know!!
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I have been in the situation, i was an addict to oxys, hydromorphine, you name it for about three years...and the withdrawals are sooo bad, thats what makes it so hard of a habit to break, your whole body aches pain deep in your bones, you have diarrea (diarrhea), vomiting, hot and cold sweats, the shakes, you name it..He most likely wants fast releif to get rid of the symptoms of withdrawal, which you can get as soon as the next day...The thing that saved me was being put on the methadone program during my 2nd pregnancy. It is a controlled dose of a substance administered daily by a pharmicist, prescribed by a doctor. It is an opiate itself and you are still dependant on it, however it stops withdrawals and blcoks the effects of other opiates, so if he were to do and oxy it would have no effect..It gives you the break you need to get your life back on track and when you feel ready you can taper off of it with little to no withdrawals. It is not available everywheres but is becoming more and more used in north america to treat opiate dependancy. Look it up online and see if there is a doctor liscenced to prescribe it around you and encourage him to go see him. The dosage is adjusted to you so that you feel completely normal and do not need to be dependant on other pills, heroin, etc. It saved my baby, my family and probably my life, i am myself again, a great mother and happier then i can remember being in years. Now i look forward to waking up:)
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I'm not really sure how to start my post, I've never been one to post on message boards in the past but I feel like I have no where else to turn.  I'm not sure anyone still reads this board but or if anyone will care about my story but I feel like I have to at least get it out and maybe there is somone out there that may be going through a similar situation.  I have been with my boyfriend for almost a decade, we've grow up together and have been rock solid for the past nine years.  All I have been dreaming about for the last few years since I hit my mid twenties is getting married to him.  We have everything set up, our house, we have a dog and great friends, esp my best friend.  Her and I have also known eachother for a long time and I felt our relationship was perfect.  My boyfriend has always been very comfortable around my friends and often hung out with them while I was working late, I NEVER worried about it or thought twice when he was alone with any of them, I completely trusted them, I knew that he was never going to screw them...unfortuantly what I didnt know was that my best friend who has always fancied pills would get my boyfriend hooked on snorting oxycontin.  I knew that she did it, and I knew that he had done it once in a while, but it wasnt until about 8 months into it when one of his best friends alerted me to what was going on.  I always suspected it inside, and I should have trusted my gut, but I thought nothing like that could ever happen.  Long story short I played Super Spy and unravelled the entire operation, my best friend lied about it to my face, she told my boyfriend about my suspicions and continued lying to me, talking to him and selling him pills even after I confronted them both.  I found the stash, I checked his phones, ATM recipes, bank statements and did everything I could to learn the truth about what was going on, since I have been with my boyfriend I've never been the suspicious type but I felt that my future was in jeopardy unless I could prove what was going on and stop him.  I havent talked to my best friend since I found it was still going on and she was telling him things that her and I talked about in confidence, thats not what a friend is in my mind, I've been with her through everything bad in her life and she completly betrayed me.  But thats not really the point of the story, of course I'm devisated to lose my best friend, but it was the betrayel of my boyfriend that hurt the most.  He has become an expert at looking me in the eye and lying, it breaks my heart everytime I find out that hes been doing it again when he swore he had stopped.  I've gone as far as buying drug tests (there is a very good website if you just search for oxy drug tests in google, they were only $1.60 each and trust me when I say they are accurate), but hes found a way around that, telling me that he has taken tylonal with codine we got from Canada (the codine is what shows up positive in the drug test, whether in that form or oxy, I have since weight the bottle of tylonal so I can determine next time if he really took them or not).  I'm so lost, I dont know what to.  Everyone I talk to about this has no ability to relate what so ever and it makes me feel alone.  My boyfriend is a good person, and he is a diagnosed manic depressant, so I understand that the pill make him feel better about life, but it cannot lead anywhere good, its only going to go downhill. This is not what I wanted for my life, we have good jobs, we were ready to get married and have kids, but now I can't believe a word he tells me.  I told him last time I caught him that one more time and I was out the door, and he has sworn that he has not done it since but I'm not blind to him anymore (btw, a dead give away is that someone on it's pupils are the size of pin holes, its obvious).  I dont know if I should really leave or if that will cause him to spiral out of control and drive a permenant wedge between us forever, and neither of us could afford our house alone.  I could move into another room of our house for now, hoping to make him wake up and realize hes going to lose me but I dont know if that would just make things awkward at home and not help the situation.  I really dont want to lose him.  I know he is a good person,and he is the person that I want to be with forever, but this is not what I wanted for my life and I cannot handle being lied to on a daily basis.  I dont want to be suspicous anymore.  . (by the way his family is not much help, I have already tried to work with them on helping him and it went no where, they all seem to think the "power of my love" will cure him, but thats not how pill addiction works).  Is there anyone out there that has any advice?  I feel like i'm going to lose my whole life, everything i've been working for.  I have no idea what to do next, all I want for Christmas if for him to be clean and my life to go back to normal.
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I went through this with my boyfriend of 2 years. we had been together for almost a full year when I found out. I was devestated but determined to work it out and do whatever it took to get him clean. In the end, I lost weight, lost sleep, took on extra jobs to help pay for my own life and his addiction, helped him financially when he was completely out of oxy and had a bank account full of nothing but a memory of a dollar bill. I had nothing to show for it. he still used. I would scream and cry in his face, beg for him to stop on hands and knees, but he wasn't himself anymore. He was so depressed from the level of drugs that he was taking that he became suicidal. he would walk around the house with knives at his wrists and guns at his head saying that, "I'm so pathetic, I'll never be able to quit. You deserve better!" everything that I'd ever thought to myself secretly but was too afraid to say to his face for fear he'd finally lose it and pull the trigger.
one night I came home at 2am and my dad heard me crying myself to sleep and came in and asked what was going on. I finally cracked. after 6 months of living like a crazy person, it felt so good just to get it out and tell somebody. Naturally, my dad was pissed. He gave me a few tips though.
Call the cops, (that didn't sound like a good idea to me. you can do time of up to 30-something years for possession of oxy without a prescription)
Tell his parents, he doesn't live with them though and they barely communicate, so I dind't see a point in that either.
Leave him. which sounded ludicrous to me, after the time and effort and money I had spent on getting us to the point that we were at... which admittedly wasn't very far. at least he WANTED to quit though.
but what happened was a gift from heaven. the next day I called him to tell him that I couldn't keep doing this anymore, and he told me he was staying at his parents! he wanted to detox away from the world and hospitals, he had told his parents and they had agreed to help him. eventually he needed a hospital and a detox program to get clean. he went to his first Narcotics Anonymous program while he was still going through vicious withdrawls. It was a long road. He still tells me that he craves it sometimes. His doc says that can last for years. Good luck to  you. I hope my story can help to influence the decisions that you make with your boy in the future. I stayed. I know people who left and are just as happy as me. But for me, staying was the right thing to do.
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Avatar_f_tn
My boyfriend recently told me the verysame thing.
We broke up a few days ago because i feel like he dosent care we lost our baby in nov at 9 weeks n weren't dating when I had found out and told him when it was to late.
We got bck together and seemed like things just went down hill after tht we got more distant he didn't wan to talk about nething as far a graduation from hs in two weeks I hve a town house in a diff town tht he is supposed to go to enrolled in college tht hr is supposed to go to... But we can't talk about nething.
He dosent wan to talk about the baby about us about college about exam he needs to take about college advising and we were drifting so I ended it.
Then when I took him back he came over last night and we went for a drive to talk.
He told me he had been taking pills in large quantities ever since we lost the baby.
Tht he has scary thought but he knws he won't go through w them.
He says he needs a friend and I did the only thing I knew to and said I was here for him.
He told me he wants to quit.
We have been together for 5 yrs n he has nvr hurt me nvr done nething wrong by me except for some vocal normal relationship fights.
He mentioned he actually considered" throwingur headinto the wall, pushing me against the wall and chockin you out" I made him so mad one day.
N went home and cried about it.
He is against abuse to woman an actually effectivly got one of our friends out of a situation like tht.
I had no idea tht for 8 months he had been poppin pills allhe told me was bars.
Then I noticed he had beer in his truck and had been drinkin all day and my friend had just rolled his truck Friday bc he fell asleep and was drinking.
I told him I didn't feel xomofrtable w Him driving and wantedhim to stay.
We settled on me forcin him to give up the last two beers he had and dumping them out while he vises me from his truck drivers seat the whole time.
As I I was burning money.
I love him and he loves me.
He promised on our childs life he will quit I just want to knw whAt I should prepare myself for in the weeks to come during his quitting process.
What I should do or say?
Or if I need to do nething other the. What I already have.
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Avatar_m_tn
wow i just typed so much and lost it but to make a long story short im am so f&ced but this drug i really thing the people that invented it need to die its takin my woman  away from me and i do not like it maybe ill tell u all about it again one day but 4 now i wasted enough time and effort on this problum and i think its just time too move on even though it hurts to leave someone u have been with 4 14 years i think its time to say goodbye   but i do love u sooooooooooooo soooooooooooo very much but i can never ever have her back baby im sorry i do love u but 4 our kids sake i must part and it is commin very very soon it hurts soooo soooo bad 4 me to just sit here and watch u just slip into ur noddin state u just dont realize what u r doin to us   and right now i really dont think that u care at all except were u r gettin ur next fix all cause of amy morgan introducing u to this very very bad drug that is so so very hard to get off of and its like u just dont wanna go threw it to get clean and move on with our lives this is so ****** i thought that i made u happy but doin a pill makes u happier  so i think i got to give UP
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Avatar_f_tn
My boyfriend said he cheated on me with drugs but never with another girl. What should I believe? He got caught with pills and went to jail for a month and now he's at a program for a year court ordered and claims he still loves me and wants to be with me when he gets out. I always thought he was cheating on me. I thought it was drugs too. I'm confused not sure weather to leave him or help him. I honestly think if I leave him while he's getting help he would turn back to drugs or do something crazy. How can I believe him when he said he only cheated on me with drugs never with another girl. And should I stick by someone who claims to be so in love with me but yet lied soo much about what he was doing behind my back.
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Avatar_f_tn
I met this awesome guy and instantly fell in love, but shortly after fallin for him i found out he was addicted to any pill that could get him high. well I fell into his footsteps. I was addicted to methodons for 3months. With in those three months, i only went to school 4 times, visit family twice.... and was high everytime. I went from being 220lbs down to 150lbs. Not healthy. I didn't care what people thought, until I was I realized I hurt the one person that has been there for me since day one, my mom.
I believe it takes someone that means so much to leave your life to realize what has happen. I was a mommys girl, but when my mom found out, she told me she'd never talk to me until I get sober. So instead of having the support from the boyfriend, I did it on my own. I signed up for school, started to show up to work, and called family daily.
The hardest part is being dope sick and having the heart ache of having to rebuild your relationships with everyone you were close to.
It took a lot of time after that to realize I was better off without him. He now knows that he is missing out on a wonderful girl that loved him. But couldn't bring himself to love anyone but the drugs.
I suggest that you try to leave or atleast talk to someone that he is close to. Try to get his mom to notice his behavior, and DONT BE ALONE WITH HIM!!!!
When I was with him when I was sober, I had knifes thrown at me, held to my throat, thrown out of a car, pushed down the stairs, choked, raped, and everything esle.
I feel bad for all the good people out there that love those who hurt them. But I understand how hard it is to fall out of love with someone you use to know!
Good luck. Keep your head up. Don't let it bring you down. I'm sure you are a great girl that deserves an awesome guy who will pick you over and kind of pills.
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Avatar_m_tn
ugh this forum is way old but still i'll add something to it in case anybody finds it. (:
I googled boyfriend addicted to painmedication and came to this site. Reading all the stories here makes me cry because it all sounds so familiar. My boyfriend has been addicted to painmedication for over a year now. Everything has changed because of it. I never really saw the problem because I would do them too sometimes but never had a problem not doing them. For him this was a different story and I now realise that his using has turned him into someone who lies and steals from me. We recently had a baby and I just hoped that this would make it easier for him to change his life but it hasn't. I have gone deep into dept because with my stupidity I have supported his addiction. If he didn't have painpills he would become so mean and angry and depressed that getting more pills and the way he was when he had them was a temporarily solution. That of course eventually was making it worse.
We were going to live in NJ (used to live in Costa Rica but there he could get them too so I had to leave before things got out of hand) but back in NJ I am so naive of course I surrounded himself with people that were all into doing pain medication. And it seemed to me that so many people were. Eventually I told him I can't live like this, I need to build a foundation for my family instead of having my debts grow. It seemed like everytime I did one step forward he pulled me back two steps. Of course he felt bad about everything, he cried and told me he was sorry he'd never do this again, he said: I need help but I don't know what to do, I need someone to help me with this. he's gotten medication to get off the pills but it is too easy to start using again. And I am totally responsible for making things harder for him when I agree for him to get some again thinking it's just this one time, but it never is. I am just so stupid thinking that he doesn't have that bad of a problem, that these pills are not really that bad and you can say no to them if you have to, like I could. I so desperately want to trust him so I just give him my bankcard to get money out not knowing that he was stealing from me and lying about it. I am so heartbroken that my own boyfriend would stab me in the back like this, while I have always been there for him. I trusted him but I know that an addicted just can't be trusted, ever. I finally told him I'd leave him. I moved to holland (where I'm from) with our daughter and told him he could come here if he wants to but only under my conditions. You see here it's just not that easy to get this kind of medication and its not prescribed and used the way it is in the states. Coming here would be like rehad for him, but to be honest if we would've stayed in the US i wouldve been lost not knowing how to stop the problem because it seems like wherever we go there is someone he knows who has them or uses them.
After I found out he took all my money for pills when I came to the US for his brothers wedding and told him it's over He's totally fallen apart realising that he has risked everything great he had in his life for these stupid ******* pills and he hit rock bottem. I never knew how much of a problem they could be for someone but apparantly he is not the only one struggling with this problem. It makes me feel a little better to read here that the stealing an lying is not something he does intentionally but something he does when the drugs takes over.
I really think that rehab is a good option for all of those addicted but this problem seems to get out of hand in the US and how easy is it to quit when you have once been an addict and you'll always have a chance to get in touch with someone who has them or does them. Erase all contacts and start a new life almost seems like the only option.. I do believe that even though you want to just turn your back to the person that treats you this way and say, screw it i don't want anything to do with you. I think It's important you see the problem your bf is struggling with and you CAN help if they allow you to. That person you once knew is still underneath that horrible person he's turned into because of the nasty drugs.
Good luck to all of you, my heart really goes out to everyone struggling with this problem!!
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Avatar_n_tn
I had to end the relationship with my fiancee because of his addiction to pills, I have strong evidence that he was using a needle to do them. It kills me inside, he was such a good liar, so good at keeping it under wraps until it got so bad...when I tried to talk to him all I got was denial...he refuses to admit he has a problem. I still miss him and think of reaching out to him but he seems happy now that he can do his drugs in the open without hiding them from me. It's tormenting me inside, I think, well what if I should have stayed and tried to help him? Am I being selfish? Then again, I have two young children and I cannot raise them with a drug addict. I'm just so sad :( My heart aches for all of you, and I know how devastating this issue is...
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Avatar_m_tn
you posted about a gf who got addicted to pain pills and changed forever...  it sounds like a story ive heard before.  my best friend went down the same road.  and i havent talked to her in two years.  but, i heard she's living on the streets...  last night i found out that the man of my dreams takes them sometimes.  and i am just sooo scared that it's all the time not sometimes.  and reading about all this addiction...  has me up in arms.  i smoke pot.  everyday...  he thinks it's hypocritical of me.  but i was open about my pot habit.  and have always been.  i hide it from only ppl associated w/ work...  the difference is...  i had to bust him to find out about his crutch.  so, if it's not a big deal... why hide it?  im not sure what to do... but we literally moved in together last night...  and that night i found his phone and read the texts cuz my intuition was telling me to.  and sure enough...  he text a friend asking if he "got dat" and the guy replied "no he's out." and that made me confront him...  and i told him if he lied to me or made it like i was the one w/ the problem id be the end.  and he admitted that he sometimes does oxycontins..  can u sometimes do that?  i do know he doesnt smoke pot, or do coke, or any other street drugs.  he drinks sometimes...  but, nothing crazy...  my question is..  can u use oxycontin and not become addicted?
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Avatar_f_tn
i need help to please if someone can help give me some advice
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Avatar_f_tn
i need help to please if someone can help give me some advice
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Avatar_f_tn
no you will become an addict eventually
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Avatar_f_tn
anybody on here
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi there,

I have recently experienced the same thing with my boyfriend of 8 months. I found out that for the past 3 months he has been using Oxy's behind my back, using my car, and stealing thousands from my savings to get his fix. He is in jail and has been for a month, however, he is still saying he wants to be with me after he gets out. I know that now he is sober and clear minded that he realizes how bad he screwed up. He took advantage of me and lied. Idk what to do... I need to focus on myself but I care for him.
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