Aa
I want to wait for her back but shes pregnant with her ex kid more then likely
Ok so this girl was dating her bf for over a year and was living with him and then we met each other at out job and hit it off. she basically fell for me and me her. She moved out of his place and got her own then a month later we got together and fell in love and it last for about 4 months. she was basically mad at him the whole time. so now shes going back and fourth and she tells herself that im the better choice for her and that she wants to be with me that she dont really trust him and all that. well during that time she got prego didnt know whos it was for about a month and i pushed her away by frustrating her by asking who she wanted and stuff. so she decided to go back to him and it turns out its more likely his kid now. So now they are trying i assume but i still love her and want to be there for her even though its his kid and knowing he will always be in her life. so does anyone think that i just need to give her space and see if she comes around she does still care for me so much and says she still loves me just not in love with me. To me i dont think he is good for her and wont treat her right. Like after we knew she was pregnant he was expecting her to cater to him cuz she cheated on him just kissing other guys at the begining of their relationship. and now everything else that happended he was very jealous before they broke up i can only imagine it will get worse. I still care for this girl and want to make sure she is taken care of and im not going to move on i just need help with what i should do to let her know im still here waiting for her
I guess we will never know what will happen till it actually does thats the great thing about life is there is so much unknown.
This is true to a point. A lot of life is what you make it as well...YOU are in control of your destiny. One should never leave their fate and future in the hands of anyone but themselves.
Take care!
This is true to a point. A lot of life is what you make it as well...YOU are in control of your destiny. One should never leave their fate and future in the hands of anyone but themselves.
Take care!
Thank you all for you input i really do appreciate it. I guess we will never know what will happen till it actually does thats the great thing about life is there is so much unknown. you guys may be right in the end or me who knows but thanks all
Hummm..........
I don't think anyone here is mad....I REALLY don't think that!!
and
I think You should just go right ahead and "wait this out" 'cuz apparently that is what You want (CHOOSE) to do. We all, all of us, would wish this to turn out the way You are 'hoping' for.... it's just that We DO NOT hold the same expectations that You hold. SIMPLE as that, my Friend!!
Bottom line: I (We) hope We are wrong and YOU are right. My Hope is that You go on to "live happily ever after"!! (in spite of the fact that I don't expect that will happen!!)
BUt, none the less, I wish You Hope, Good Luck and Happiness.
Regards,
tink
and again I will say I'm done (believe it or not!!)
I don't think anyone here is mad....I REALLY don't think that!!
and
I think You should just go right ahead and "wait this out" 'cuz apparently that is what You want (CHOOSE) to do. We all, all of us, would wish this to turn out the way You are 'hoping' for.... it's just that We DO NOT hold the same expectations that You hold. SIMPLE as that, my Friend!!
Bottom line: I (We) hope We are wrong and YOU are right. My Hope is that You go on to "live happily ever after"!! (in spite of the fact that I don't expect that will happen!!)
BUt, none the less, I wish You Hope, Good Luck and Happiness.
Regards,
tink
and again I will say I'm done (believe it or not!!)
How can anyone advise you on waiting? With all due respect, that's kind of a silly question. The answer is...you just do. You tell her you're going to pine away for her, and to let you know if and when she's ready to come back to you. If waiting means no other girls, then so be it...but you don't have a committment with her. You can dtae other people. She's living with someone. She's already got a serious committment. To tell her your waiting is also disrespectful to her current relationship. Imagine if you were with her and some guy was telling her he'd wait for her. Wouldn't go over too well with you would it?
You said we don't know what she's thinking. We kind of do and so do you because she's come right out and told you. ANYONE who uses the "I love you but I'm not not IN love with you line" is trying to nicely tell you to bug off. Seriously. If she wanted to be with you, she would be. Maybe you're right and she'll come to her senses...but we're trying to tell you that to put your life on hold (not looking for others) for her at your young age is crazy. She basically cheated on her ex with you. You were either the rebound guy or a way to make the ex jealous. You were the "other man". You won't believe that, but there are many of us who have had a LOT more relationship experience than you...we're trying to give you the benefit of that experience.
No one can tell you how to "wait". You'll just have to kind of wing it. Hopefully, you'll figure this out before you've wasted too much of your time waiting. She's not worth waiting for...sorry. I wish you'd have more respect for yourself than that.
You said we don't know what she's thinking. We kind of do and so do you because she's come right out and told you. ANYONE who uses the "I love you but I'm not not IN love with you line" is trying to nicely tell you to bug off. Seriously. If she wanted to be with you, she would be. Maybe you're right and she'll come to her senses...but we're trying to tell you that to put your life on hold (not looking for others) for her at your young age is crazy. She basically cheated on her ex with you. You were either the rebound guy or a way to make the ex jealous. You were the "other man". You won't believe that, but there are many of us who have had a LOT more relationship experience than you...we're trying to give you the benefit of that experience.
No one can tell you how to "wait". You'll just have to kind of wing it. Hopefully, you'll figure this out before you've wasted too much of your time waiting. She's not worth waiting for...sorry. I wish you'd have more respect for yourself than that.
Im sharing these with you from a man to man experience. When a person falls in love with someone (and i dont particuarly believe age is that big of an issue) they are weak in the knees when ever they are around them. If only one feels this way then all youll end up is with one person with week knees and the other running around chasing their dreams which will end up as a nightmare for the knee guy.
i really dont know why your the one getting all mad. I did ask for advice on how to wait just because no one came out with a success story doesnt mean there arent any out there. all youve done is tell me this is going to go no where for me and that its all basically doomed that this girl is playing me. You nor anyone else on here knows what that girl is thinking but i have a better idea of the type of person she is then you. Yes from a outside perspective this is what it would look like. But this is a loving and honest girl shes been trying to do whats best and sometimes it doesnt always end up being the right decision. And your two to three peoples opinions and move on and i appreciate the input. But im looking for advice on waiting. just because no one came forward with advice i wanted doesnt mean its not out there this is just one site with only a very small fraction of the worlds population on it. I appreciate the move on input no need to get all upset or hurt.
She dosent care if your there waiting for her. Ive been through this and the best you could do now is get her on the rebound and that for sure will not work out in the long run. I know its hard but it will get you to a better place
Be realistic. She has a child from a person she is now involved with again, and she says she is not in love with you. All you have here is a girl with a child from her ex who is now her new who does not love you. What good is it for her to know that your there for her? To borrow money?
Be realistic. She has a child from a person she is now involved with again, and she says she is not in love with you. All you have here is a girl with a child from her ex who is now her new who does not love you. What good is it for her to know that your there for her? To borrow money?
Just tell her. Be honest and that's all u can do.... I really hope this works out for you since this is what u are doing no matter what. Fill us in on what happens. I wish u the best. Be honest. I hope u do not get hurt.
and im not going to move on i just need help with what i should do to let her know im still here waiting for her
that is what i said at the very first message. im looking for help on how to wait or for anyone who has been in that situation and it worked out for them in the end. Ive pondered the advice ive been given i know people would see it they way you guys all have. no one cept me and her know how the other feels. All i came here for was help on how to best go about doing what i feel like i should do. I know i can find other people out there but thats not for me i wanted help with how to wait or the best approach to let her know im here and get her back not run for hills
that is what i said at the very first message. im looking for help on how to wait or for anyone who has been in that situation and it worked out for them in the end. Ive pondered the advice ive been given i know people would see it they way you guys all have. no one cept me and her know how the other feels. All i came here for was help on how to best go about doing what i feel like i should do. I know i can find other people out there but thats not for me i wanted help with how to wait or the best approach to let her know im here and get her back not run for hills
We see what we "want" to see.
We believe what we "want" to believe.
But
"Reality" is often much different.
That being said, I'm done.
(I'm not at all sure I understand what You came here looking for??.... I feel You've been given good advice, advice that You seem not to want to consider, ponder, look at. No one here EVER tells You "what to do", but rather suggests a different outlook. Seems to me You came here to announce, maybe even PRONOUNCE how You feel - rather than that You came looking for opinion, insight, outlook, advice??
What for did You come?? ?? ??
Regards,
Tink
We believe what we "want" to believe.
But
"Reality" is often much different.
That being said, I'm done.
(I'm not at all sure I understand what You came here looking for??.... I feel You've been given good advice, advice that You seem not to want to consider, ponder, look at. No one here EVER tells You "what to do", but rather suggests a different outlook. Seems to me You came here to announce, maybe even PRONOUNCE how You feel - rather than that You came looking for opinion, insight, outlook, advice??
What for did You come?? ?? ??
Regards,
Tink
Also it sounds like she cheated.... I would not reccomend that I know its hard maybe she is making excuses did it on accident but in my opinion nothing is an excuse for cheating. Would u do that to her? No I've been through that don't pit yourself through it. She will probably do it again.she's going back and forth between u and him she's using u for something whatever it is she is using u and probably won't let u go knowing u will always be there .... I feel really bad and I'm sorry u are going through this
As I read this you kind of sound like me thinking she may come around or things may happen. I would say yes its hard to get over and maybe see what happens but just like my situation you never know at all. It is a sucky and helpless feeling I know but how long are u willing to wait for something that might not happen? I feel the same way as you. I can't tell u if that's going to work or not but I hope u are happy with whatever decision u choose. Don't wait solely for her but also have an open mind with other people. That's my suggestion coming from the same place. Have faith but be realistic. That's what I'm doing...
One more thing, you're putting your entire life on hold for a girl you were with for FOUR months?
Please get some therapy. I say that out of concern...
Please get some therapy. I say that out of concern...
WHY in the world at 22 would you be willing to wait for something that will likely never come? Wait for her to reciprocate your feelings and devotion? That's insane. You're acting like an unimportant doormat. Seriously, you need to get into some kind of therapy so you can explore why you are setting yourself up for heartache and misery ON PURPOSE when you KNOW the details of how this girl is. NO one person on this earth is worth putting your own needs and happiness aside for...besides children, and a spouse that you've committed to (and that person has committed to YOU). Part of being an adult is making wise decisions (sometimes hard ones)..and you do that by looking at all of the info before you, and making an informed choice. The info before you shuld tell you only ONE thing, yet you're doing the opposite. That's actually self destructive and unhealthy.
She allowed herself to get pregnant while sleeping with more than one person. That ALONE shows her level of irresponsibility and cavalier attitude toward life. THEN, the MOMENT she had the convo with you about whose baby she WANTS her unborn child to be is when you should have ran like hell.
That's nothing but drama and ridiculousness. She's using her unborn child as a pawn in her big game. Let the two of them live happily (or not) ever after and run for the hills. You are not thinking clearly now. You have a choice between jumping into a snake pit, and doing whatever it is you want in life. The possibilities are endless, yet you're throwing that all away for HER? When she's already made her choice to be with him? You're choosing the snake pit. That's a shame.
Best of luck to you.
She allowed herself to get pregnant while sleeping with more than one person. That ALONE shows her level of irresponsibility and cavalier attitude toward life. THEN, the MOMENT she had the convo with you about whose baby she WANTS her unborn child to be is when you should have ran like hell.
That's nothing but drama and ridiculousness. She's using her unborn child as a pawn in her big game. Let the two of them live happily (or not) ever after and run for the hills. You are not thinking clearly now. You have a choice between jumping into a snake pit, and doing whatever it is you want in life. The possibilities are endless, yet you're throwing that all away for HER? When she's already made her choice to be with him? You're choosing the snake pit. That's a shame.
Best of luck to you.
I see it right now as a know where situation yes. and i do realize that she will be tied to him forever. But no one knows the future and the chances of them working it out and being together are not that likely. There are a lot of relationships that dont last and some other guy comes in and is there for the girl and the kid. We do have choices and i know the road im choosing is going to be painfull. Yes im only 22 but i have been through alot when it comes to relationships. and im willing to wait and deal with the pain and be by myself just for another chance with her. and i realize i may never get it. and someone could come along and change my mind on all that i dont know but i do know how i feel now
Ckester, do yourself a big favor and get her out of your life. And dont worry about her cause with her attitude she will always get whats she wants. Dont let your emotions take over correct thinking. She dosent love you and this is a total waste of your time and feelings.
Go find some nice person who does love you. She a two timer and will just use you when she needs something that she cant get from someone else.
Go find some nice person who does love you. She a two timer and will just use you when she needs something that she cant get from someone else.
Yes, She is young - You are young also.
You are setting YourSelf up for a world of pain. I say "setting YourSelf up" because You do have control/choice and the ability to see this is a no-where situation. She's involved with another Man, She has a Baby on the way - which ties Her to Him forever - birthdays(etc.), graduations(etc.), weddings (etc.), GrandChildren(etc.) You get the idea.
There is no such thing as a "one and only" love. The world population is 7 BILLION, 3 MILLION+ !! The US population is 316 MILLION+ !! This equals many, many, many Wonderful, Beautiful, Young Women out there that You can love and that will love You in return. Young Women who do not have all that baggage. Love is a CHOICE and You have the option to choose much more wisely than this. Remember, She has choices too, and She's making them.
Good Luck and I hope You come to know that:
Love is NOT confusing and indecisive.
Love does NOT hurt.
Love is NOT unkind.
Sure, problems come up in all relationships but the problem(s) are not about love for one another. If there is a question of that, well then, I contend it is NOT love.
You are setting YourSelf up for a world of pain. I say "setting YourSelf up" because You do have control/choice and the ability to see this is a no-where situation. She's involved with another Man, She has a Baby on the way - which ties Her to Him forever - birthdays(etc.), graduations(etc.), weddings (etc.), GrandChildren(etc.) You get the idea.
There is no such thing as a "one and only" love. The world population is 7 BILLION, 3 MILLION+ !! The US population is 316 MILLION+ !! This equals many, many, many Wonderful, Beautiful, Young Women out there that You can love and that will love You in return. Young Women who do not have all that baggage. Love is a CHOICE and You have the option to choose much more wisely than this. Remember, She has choices too, and She's making them.
Good Luck and I hope You come to know that:
Love is NOT confusing and indecisive.
Love does NOT hurt.
Love is NOT unkind.
Sure, problems come up in all relationships but the problem(s) are not about love for one another. If there is a question of that, well then, I contend it is NOT love.
Im 22 she is 18 so she is young. yes he knows about me and for over a month she didnt want it to be his kid at all saying all those things. and i pushed her away by frustrating her. I know this is hard to grasp but i do love her alot and am willing to wait on her as long as i have to. I know i could go find someone who treats me well and all that but i dont want to give up on this girl i want to show her i care for her and can be a better man then the other guy who has a drinking problem and isnt even 21 yet.
You are a Knight in Shining Armor who wants to "rescue" a Damsel in Distress (
Problem is, this Damsel creates Her own Distress and will likely continue to do so as long as You and the other Guy give Her "permission" to do this (does He know about You?) "I love You, but I'm not IN love with You", is babble and is likely meant to dangle You. There are those who thrive on drama and chaos and will create their own crisis.
You cannot mend Her ways but You can learn what it is about You that wants to "rescue" a Woman who plays two men in this way. Her behavior is not attractive in the least.
(I'm curious - how old are the both of You?)
Problem is, this Damsel creates Her own Distress and will likely continue to do so as long as You and the other Guy give Her "permission" to do this (does He know about You?) "I love You, but I'm not IN love with You", is babble and is likely meant to dangle You. There are those who thrive on drama and chaos and will create their own crisis.
You cannot mend Her ways but You can learn what it is about You that wants to "rescue" a Woman who plays two men in this way. Her behavior is not attractive in the least.
(I'm curious - how old are the both of You?)
Hello. I feel for you, as you have set yourself up for a bloody-hard fall. You have to let her go, man. She is doing as she feels is right for herself, and it is apparent that her plans do not include you. Get busy. Work, clean your house, see some friends, go work out, watch guy-movies, go for a drive to nowhere and back just for the heck of it. Stay busy. Give it time. Time really does heal all wounds. God Bless you - Blu
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