My boyfriend and I have only been dating for a few months. We fell i love and moved so fast when we met. Love at first sight honestly. He leaves for the Navy in a few months and I'm worried. All we do is fight. I'm two years older than him so I get irritated because he's a little less mature than me. I'm always mad at everything he says. We play sports together and I get so pissed when we play together, I dont know why. We cant have a conversation without someone getting insulted or hurt and things going way further than they should over small things. I love him so much and I need to figure out why I'm so angry and what I should do. Hes the one i want to spend my life with. Please help?
Hi there. Sorry you are having a rough time. In truth, constant bickering is often a sign of other problems. Examples would be if you are quick to anger, you could be anxious about his leaving. something like that. Anxiety can show itself in quick bursts of anger and hot head actions.
have you always been easily irritated or is it just this boyfriend?
In truth, a relationship will indeed fizzle out with that going on. Nobody wants an angry partner and he will most likely tire of it and go somewhere in which a woman appreciates him, makes him feel good, etc. People move away from unpleasant and to pleasant which is human nature.
If you wan to resolve this before that happens, you probably should see a therapist to see where all the anger comes from and work on how you can control it. It's on you and not him to make this change.
But in all honesty, we all get irritated from time to time. If you spend the a lot of time in that state in this relationship, it may not be a match made in heaven. It may be best if you too decide this isn't the right relationship for you. And after going from first meeting to a couple very quickly, that would be understandable.
Dating and finding the right person is usually a much more complex process than that. Usually things that seem too good to be true ---- are.
I can relate sweetie. Ok if you wanna fix this thing I believe that you need to do it before he leaves. I think if he leaves and it's not resolved the distance will make him pull away. So my suggestion would be go somewhere quiet were you won't get disturbed. Take a pen and a notebook and write down what he does to make you mad. Then focus on one at a time and ask why does this make me mad. Where is the anger stemming from? Are you angry and upset he is leaving? That's when you write down when your anger towards him started. Was it after he told u he was leaving? Could it from you getting hurt in the past from ex's and you put up walls and now it's coming out in anger? Did a male figure in your life leave you? Just really dig down deep and that's where your answer will lie. After you find the source of the anger address. What ever you have to do to make peace with do it. Give yourself a pep talk. And make it all ok in your mind and in reality. After that sit down with your guy tell him you love him dearly. If you want give him your explanation for your anger towards him or just reassure him your working on your anger. If you ever start getting mad again just stop yourself, take a deep breath and count backwards from ten and during counting remember how you addressed your issue and made it all ok.
I hope I helped. Lots of prayers and love
Ps. I also need to do this so your not alone.
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