Insecure

[Andrew590]

I am a very insecure person. The type that feels like when they leave a room everyone in there starts talking about me as soon as I leave. This is no help in my relationship. I guess you can say I am a jelous person also. Anyone who deals with this knows it's a struggle. I have been able to hide this rescently from my girlfriend so I don't cause any friction but it is all still there as strong as ever. If there is anyone who has been down this road I could use the advice. I know I am being stupid with it and have no reason to be like this but this is just my personality and no matter how much I tell my self I am just being dumb it doesn't work.

[mami1323]

I think everyone deals with some type of insecurity but my best advice to you would be to seek counseling to work on your issues before it starts to affect your relationship.

[Andrew590]

It has already affected our relationship several times I am just lucky she is patient with me but there is going to come a time when she says enough is enough.

[mami1323]

Exactly, it will come a time when she will get irritated and frustrated with it.  You need to work on you and the other things will fall into place.  Plus it will show her that you will do whatever it takes to continue to move forward in your relationship in a positive way.

[Andrew590]

My next question is I really don't know where to go or who to see to help me work on this particular thing. I have other underlying issues having low self esteem and confidence that all need to be worked on together. I just don't know if there is someone out there to help or if I can really only get help from some self help books which I don't think will work I can't keep my attention in a book long enough to comprehend what I am reading and have to continuously read 2 and 3 times again.

Thank you for the advice I am going to be looking into this.

[imanaddict]

Seek out a psychiatrist in your area. If you have insurance, they probably have a website where you can find doctors in any field.

Mami is 100% right on the money when she suggested counseling. If you truly love this girl, don't let her slip away! Show her (and yourself) just how committed you are by seeking help. You would be killing two birds with one stone (helping your underlying issues, AND fixing your relationship).

I wish you the best!

[Judy246]

Seek a counselor. You have either experienced a broken relationship, some type of abuse (home, school, bullies, etc) and jelousy is fear that something that you have and love will be taken away, so your past might have something to do with current insecure behavior. It's fixable...seek a counselor who will be able to get down to the bottom of you past and present behavior. Good luck!